1. INT. STREET
(Rubbish litters the street and graffiti covers the walls. The sound of the mocking chants of the Red Kangs can be heard. A lone
Yellow Kang runs down the street and comes to a halt in a doorway. She crouches under the graffiti of Yellow Kang being menaced by a
2. INT. TARDIS. CONSOLE ROOM
(The Doctor is leaning on the console. His hat is on the time column. Mel is standing by the scanner screen watching a video brochure.)
MEL: Look, Doctor, look. There's the swimming pool, right at the very top of the building. Oh it's wonderful. I can't wait
for a dip in that. Paradise Towers here we come.
DOCTOR: That's the problem with young people today, no spirit of adventure.
3. INT. SQUARE
(The Square is a full of rubbish. The sound of the Red Kang chanting echoes off the walls.)
4. INT. STREET
(The Lone Yellow Kang remains crouched in a doorway. The voices of the Red Kang can be heard calling down the street.)
FIRE ESCAPE: It's no go. Leave her for another day. Cowardly cutlet.
BIN LINER: Leave her for the cleaners.
(They laugh mockingly and then disappear. There is silence briefly. The Yellow Kang relaxes, displaying a smile. The silence is
interrupted by a whirring sound. The Yellow Kang looks up horrified as a shadow falls over her. She lets out a loud scream.)
5. INT. TARDIS CONSOLE ROOM
(The Doctor moves around the console.)
DOCTOR: I think that's enough of that, Mel.
(The Doctor closes the scanner screen.)
MEL: Why? It's great.
DOCTOR: Well if you want to stay here watching a guide book when you could actually be enjoying the real thing, that's up
MEL: You mean we're nearly there?
DOCTOR: Paradise Towers any second now.
(Mel joins the Doctor at the console.)
DOCTOR: You might want to lie by the pool doing nothing all day, I intend to explore. Paradise Towers is supposed to be a
remarkable architectural achievement I'm told. Won all sorts of awards way back in the 23rd century. Are you ready?
MEL: Ready? I can't wait.
6. INT. SQUARE
(The TARDIS materialises in the rubbish strewn square.)
7. INT. TARDIS. CONSOLE ROOM
DOCTOR: Well, here we are.
(The Doctor opens the doors and Mel exits the room. The Doctor reaches for his hat that sits on the console and gets his umbrella
from the hat stand. He follows Mel out of the door.)
8. INT. SQUARE
(Mel and the Doctor step from the TARDIS into the Square that is filled with various pieces of rubbish like cardboard boxes.)
MEL: Oh no.
(The Doctor kicks over a box to reveal a rat. Mel lets out a shocked gasp. The rat runs off into the shadows.)
DOCTOR: Very intelligent little creatures. Oh, look at this. (He points to the Robotic Cleaner stencil on the wall)
Oh, and this.
MEL: It's just rubbish
DOCTOR: Nothing's just rubbish if you have an enquiring mind. (He doffs his hat to a bizarre metal shape) Hello.
MEL: No, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Well you never can tell. (He throws aside the rubbish he is holding and walks off to explore)
MEL: You don't happen to know another planet with a swimming pool do you?
DOCTOR: Oh why did I have to jettison the pool from the TARDIS?
MEL: Well it was leaking.
DOCTOR: There's a rather spectacular swimming pool on the planet Griophos, I understand.
MEL: Oh, we could try there.
DOCTOR: Just one snag.
MEL: What's that?
DOCTOR: It's for the exclusive use of the Golmaree's (sic).
MEL: Who are they?
DOCTOR: A rather nasty breed of flesh eating octopi. (Mel grimaces) Personally I'd rather stay here and explore. I
wonder what happened.
MEL: It's seen better days, that's what's happened. Still, now that we're here, I suppose I might as well see what the pool's
DOCTOR: That's the spirit. This could be fascinating. Are you coming?
MEL: Yes but just one thing, Doctor. If anything goes wrong and we get separated, we meet at the pool, alright?
DOCTOR: Oh very well. But we've only just arrived, there's no need to start worry yet.
(An arrow flies passed his cheek and embeds itself in the wall. The Doctor and Mel look in the direction from where it came.)
9. INT. STREET
(A lone Young Caretaker makes his way down a street. It is gloomily lit from above and by up lighters attached to the walls. The
walls are similar to everywhere else in the towers in that they are covered with Graffiti. The Caretaker is holding in his right hand
a radio transmitter to his mouth and talking to the Chief Caretaker.)
YOUNG CARETAKER: Caretaker number 345/12 subsection 3 reporting. I am proceeding along Potassium Street, corridor 5673, section
201, opposite door 782 on floor 35, north side, over.
CHIEF CARETAKER: This is the Chief Caretaker speaking; we are receiving you, Caretaker number 345 /12 subsection 3. Make your
YOUNG CARETAKER: Considerable evidence of multi-coloured wall-scrawl all along this part of street. Wall-Scrawlers obviously
active here, over.
CHIEF CARETAKER: Return noted. Proceed now to report on corridor 5673, section 301.
YOUNG CARETAKER: Very good, Chief.
(The Young Caretaker then continues along the corridor but stops when he notices something at his feet. He bends down and picks
up the rags of a yellow piece of material previously worn by the Yellow Kang. He brings the radio transmitter back to his mouth to speak.)
YOUNG CARETAKER: Caretaker number 345/12 subsection 3 reporting. Hi? Hi?
CHIEF CARETAKER: This is the Chief Caretaker speaking; we are receiving you, Caretaker number 345 /12 subsection 3. You are
to proceed to section 301, what's the matter?
YOUNG CARETAKER: Hi. I'm scared, Chief.
(Pausing, he looks around him anxiously.)
10. INT. SQUARE
(Mel and the Doctor are standing in the square being held captive by a gang of Red Kangs. They are all young girls, all dressed
in scruffy red clothing and holding futuristic yet primitive weapons designed to fire arrows. They all have red hair dye in their hair.
DOCTOR: At least tell us who you are.
FIRE ESCAPE: We're the Kangs. Red Kangs are best. Who's best?
RED KANGS: Red Kangs. Red Kangs. Red Kangs are best.
BIN LINER: So who's best?
DOCTOR: The Red Kangs I gather. There are other coloured Kangs?
BIN LINER: Yeah, the Blue Kangs but they're...
RED KANGS: ...Cowardly Cutlets.
FIRE ESCAPE: And the Yellows but they're only one now.
DOCTOR: Why's that?
BIN LINER: Just is.
DOCTOR: Not got very enquiring minds have you.
MEL: Quiet, Doctor.
(The Red Kangs attention turns to Mel and so do their weapons.)
BIN LINER: Are you a Blue Kang?
MEL: No, I'm Mel. I don't know what the Kangs are.
FIRE ESCAPE: We're the Kangs, Red Kangs.
DOCTOR: Who are, of course, the best.
(The Reds Kangs briefly talk amongst themselves conspiratorially.)
DOCTOR: They seem to be some sort of gang, all girls by the looks of it. Maybe they'll ask you to join up.
MEL: I hope not.
BIN LINER: Bin liner.
BIN LINER: Bin Liner. Mel (she pushes Mel slightly on the shoulder). Bin Liner.
DOCTOR: Ah, now we're getting somewhere. I'm the Doctor. (He doffs his hat)
FIRE ESCAPE: Fire Escape.
DOCTOR: How d'you do.
(The Doctor moves towards Fire Escape with one hand out stretched whilst doffing his hand with the other but the Kangs response
defensively misunderstanding what he intends. They point their bow and arrows at him.)
DOCTOR: I was only trying to be friendly.
BIN LINER: Friendly?
DOCTOR: Say hello? Hello? Hello?
FIRE ESCAPE: (speaking to Bin Liner) Ah, he wants to how you do. Do we?
(She lowers her weapon and moves forward. She brings her forearm aggressively up then opens her hand and lowers it slowly. She
then repeats the action with her other forearm. She claps her hands together and then points her palms facing the Doctor who touches
his palms to hers. They then lower them together. She steps back and with the other Kangs, takes a bow. Mel gestures the Doctor
to copy them and he does so as best he can but he steps back and rolls his hat down his arm and tosses it back up onto his head. The
Kangs response with another bow.)
DOCTOR: You don't have to do that. (He looks slightly embarrassed and then gestures to Mel) What about Mel then?
(All the Red Kangs turn away with their arms folded as a sign of rejection.)
DOCTOR: What's the matter?
FIRE ESCAPE: You we like, Doctor. What you wear is high fabshion and ice hot for an old one.
DOCTOR: Oh thank you very much. But clothes don't maketh the man you know.
BIN LINER: No but Kangs all have colours. Blue, Yellow, Red. What is Mel's colour?
MEL: Oh I don't have a colour. And I don't want to be a Kang.
(The Doctor despairs at Mel's response by holding his face in his hand.)
FIRE ESCAPE: We don't want you to be a Kang, not a Red Kang.
11. INT. STREET
(The Young Caretaker continues on his journey through the corridors. As before he holds the radio transmitter to his mouth.)
YOUNG CARETAKERS: Caretaker number 345/12 subsection 3 here. I am proceeding along corridor 5673 towards section 301 on
floor 34 north side. Chief?
CHIEF CARETAKER: What is it now?
YOUNG CARETAKERS: Do I have to?
CHIEF CARETAKER: Orders are orders, number one rule of the Caretakers, Caretaker number 345/12 subsection 3.
YOUNG CARETAKERS: But Chief listen, something's going wrong. I know it's going wrong.
(As he walks past, a Blue Kang appears from her hiding place in a side corridor. She moves forward and peers around the corner
to see him move away down the corridor. His voice becomes fainter as he moves away.)
YOUNG CARETAKERS: After finishing this street (?), can't I just...
CHIEF CARETAKER: No, Caretaker number 345/12 subsection 3, you can't.
YOUNG CARETAKERS: But Chief?!
CHIEF CARETAKER: Orders are orders, number one rule of the Caretakers, Caretaker number 345/12 subsection 3.
(Once he has gone, the Blue Kang leader – known as Drinking Fountain – picks up the phone attached to the way beside her.)
DRINKING FOUNTAIN: Yellow Kang the last believed unalive. Reason not known.
(She replaces the phone to its position on the wall and moves off in the direction the Young Caretaker had just come from.)
12. INT. STREET
(In another street a white robot makes it way along. There is a faint whirring sound. It has an arm on either side of its body.
One is a mechanical saw and the other is a screw-like device. It is pulling a cart behind it. From the cart, protrudes the leg of the
last Yellow Kang.)
13. INT. SQUARE
(One set of Red Kangs watch over Mel, whilst another set featuring Bin Liner and Fire Escape dance around chanting, taking the
Doctor with them.)
RED KANGS: Red Kangs, Red Kangs, Red Kangs are best. Red Kangs, Red Kangs, Red Kangs are best. Red Kangs, Red Kangs, Red Kangs
DOCTOR: Red Kangs are best. Yes, well now that we've been introduced, I think that some explanations are in order. We're visitors
to Paradise Towers, only just arrived, so you can't really expect Mel to understand what you're talking.
BIN LINER: No visitors.
BIN LINER: No visitors, no ball games, no fly posts, no visitors.
DOCTOR: You mean visitors aren't allowed?
BIN LINER: No visitors ever.
FIRE ESCAPE: Not since time start.
DOCTOR: Well there always a first time. I mean not everyone you're going to meet is going to be a Kang.
FIRE ESCAPE: No. There are old ones and caretakers and the...
BIN LINER: Reta! (This gives Fire Escape the instruction to stop.)
DOCTOR: I see. And who are these Caretakers?
BIN LINER: They wipe away our wallscrawl, chase us down Carrydoors, catch us if they can.
DOCTOR: I see. And all the young ones are Kangs.
FIRE ESCAPE: Yes.
DOCTOR: Or girls, I should say. There don't seem to be any boys.
(Whilst looking around him at the Red Kangs, the Doctor motions with his eyes for Mel to start moving towards to TARDIS.)
FIRE ESCAPE: Boys? Boys? What are boys? There are the old ones and caretakers and Kangs and the... (Bin Liner gives her a
silencing glance). That is all.
DOCTOR: I see. Well I must say it's been nice meeting you but I think it's time we must be on our way, don't you think so,
MEL: Yes, Doctor. Not a moment to lose.
(They can get no closer to the TARDIS as the Red Kangs block their way and again hold them captive.)
BIN LINER: We heard you talk of the pool.
FIRE ESCAPING: The Great Pool in the Sky.
DOCTOR: Did you? Oh, I expect your ears were playing tricks on you.
BIN LINER: You're coming with us to our hide-in.
(The Red Kangs nearest to the Doctor start to tie his hands together behind his back.)
DOCTOR: I wonder what (sic) Blue Kangs behave like this.
14. INT. STREET
(The Young Caretaker moves cautiously into the corridor holding his radio transmitter to his mouth.)
YOUNG CARETAKER: As instructed, I'm proceeding along corridor...
(His comment is halted as his radio signal is disrupted.)
YOUNG CARETAKER: Chief? (He taps the radio) Chief? Are you receiving me? (He taps it again) Chief?!
(He looks up when he hears a whirring sound. At the other end of the corridor, appears a Robotic Cleaner.)
YOUNG CARETAKER: Oh no. No, it can't be. The Chief told us... Chief!?
(He fails to notice another cleaner appear from behind and make its way towards him. Its centre claw is in position and ready
to use. The cleaner in front of him makes its way off down a side corridor.)
CHIEF CARETAKER: (from the radio) Yes, Caretaker number 345 /12 subsection 3.
YOUNG CARETAKER: Oh, thank goodness you're there, Chief.
CHIEF CARETAKER: Now don't panic, Caretaker number 345 /12 subsection 3.
YOUNG CARETAKER: But Chief it's...it's...
(He cannot complete his sentence as he turns around to see the Cleaner behind him which then grabs his throat with its claw and
YOUNG CARETAKER: AAAaaaarrrgggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
CHIEF CARETAKER: Yes, I know.
15. INT. SQUARE
(The Doctor and Mel are tied up carefully secured by a Kang.)
DOCTOR: It seems the art of knot tying hasn't died out here.
MEL: I thought they liked you.
DOCTOR: They liked my clothes, which is clearly not enough.
BIN LINER: Are they tied and true?
RED KANG: Yes.
(Bin Liner goes over to where Fire Escape is standing by the phone.)
BIN LINER: Ready, Fire Escape.
FIRE ESCAPE: Red Kang Eye-spy says we can't go through usual carrydoor, Red Kangs out and lurking.
BIN LINER: And the Yellows?
FIRE ESCAPE: No Yellows, all unalive now.
BIN LINER: All?
FIRE ESCAPE: All.
DOCTOR: Excuse me.
FIRE ESCAPE: What?
DOCTOR: Did you say that a whole tribe of Yellow Kangs have been wiped out; I mean made unalive just like that.
(Fire Escape nods.)
DOCTOR: But why? You didn't kill them did you?
FIRE ESCAPE: To make unalive is not part of the Kang way. No ball games, no fly posts, no wipe-outs.
DOCTOR: Who did it then? The Caretakers, the Blue Kangs, I mean who?
FIRE ESCAPE: It takes place.
BIN LINER: We've been in the open spaces for too long, we must go. Ware Blue Kangs, build high for happiness.
RED KANGS: Build high for happiness.
(The Doctor looks ponderous as The Red Kangs lead him and Mel out of the square and up the stairs.)
16. INT. CARETAKER HEADQUARTERS
(The unseen Chief Caretaker stands over his control desk looking at his bank of screens. One screen shows a cleaner pulling a
rubbish cart containing the body of the late Young Caretaker.)
CHIEF CARETAKER: A nice little snack coming up for you, my beauty. So you'll grow up big and strong. That's Daddy's little
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: I've located a whole group of them, Chief. Large as life and twice as nasty.
CHIEF CARETAKER: Excellent.
(The Chief pulls a switch on the control desk to make an announcement to the caretakers on patrol.)
CHIEF CARETAKER: Attention all caretakers, abandon further work on master plan QYT and as set out in regulation book 145 proceed
instead into standard emergency plan 908b.
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: Emergency plan 908b certainly.
CHIEF CARETAKER: That is correct. Seize all Red Wall-Scrawlers in Fountain of Happiness square. Now!
17. INT. SQUARE
(The Red Kangs are leading the Doctor and Mel up the stairs in the square. Both of the their hands are still tied up.)
DOCTOR: Sorry about the pool, Mel.
MEL: That's alright, Doctor.
(In front of the leading Kangs some Caretakers appear, the Red Kangs panic and retreat away back down the stairs.)
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: Alright you Kangs, lets be having you.
(In the chaos of panicking Red Kangs, the Doctor falls from the stairway on to some rubbish in the square below. Meanwhile
Mel makes her escape with the other Kangs down a street leading from the Square. Once they have gone, pursued by a few Caretakers, the
Doctor is alone on the rubbish. He is pull up onto his feet by some Caretakers. He is unable to move himself due to his hands being
tied behind his back. He is confronted by the Deputy.)
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKERS: Who are you?
DOCTOR: That doesn't matter. Are you the Caretakers?
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: Yes!
DOCTOR: And you take care, of people, that is.
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: Maybe.
DOCTOR: You seem to be our best bet so far, don't you think, Mel. Mel? Where's Mel.
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: No, no, no, sunbeam. You're coming with us.
(The two Caretakers holding the Doctor pull him away after the Deputy as he ascends the central Square stairs.)
18. INT. STREET
(In a street that is cleaner than most in the Towers, Fire Escape and the other red Kangs are running away from the Caretakers,
who would seem to have given up. Mel runs into the street but stops and turns to see how close the Doctor is behind her. She is alarmed
to see that he isn't there.)
MEL: Doctor? Doctor?!? Doctor!?! Oh that's done it, what now?
(She stops in the centre of the square looking crestfallen. From a little way down the street Mel has just shouted appears an
elderly woman in a doorway. Mel turns to face the woman who calls out.)
TILDA: Cooee. Cooooeeee. Would you care for a cup of tea?
TILDA: I said would you care for some tea and some cakes?
MEL: Yes. Thank you.
INT. TILDA AND TABBY'S FLAT
(Inside the flat, Tabby, a much larger woman than Tilda wearing a similar hotchpotch of clothing, appears from the kitchen area
and meets Tilda at the front door.)
TABBY: Is she coming, Tilda?
TABBY: How does she look?
TILDA: Very nice.
TABBY: Is she fat?
TILDA: Sshhh, sshhh. Oh She's nearly here, dear. Oh my goodness, Tabby, look at that table. Quick.
(Tabby moves off as quickly as she can to the Kitchen to clear the kitchen table.)
EXT. TILDA AND TABBY'S FLAT
(Tilda stands by the front door holding it closed so as to obscure Mel's view of the inside and Tabby's tidying activities. Mel
Joins Tilda at the door.)
TILDA: (Laughing embarrassed) My friend Tabby is just tidying up. We're both very house proud you see, particularly when we
(Looking in through the front door, Tilda can see Tabby standing up the kitchen area ready to receive their new guest.)
TILDA: Yes, I think it's alright to go in now. Come in dear.
INT. TILDA AND TABBY'S FLAT
TILDA: I'm Tilda, by the way. What's you name?
MEL: Oh, Mel.
TILDA: Oh Mel! Mel. What a delicious name. Tabby, this is Mel.
TABBY: Hello, dear. Come in and make yourself comfortable.
MEL: Thank you.
(Mel moves to the sitting area. Tabby notices that Mel's hands are tied behind her back.)
TABBY: Oh look at your poor hands. We can't allow that, can we Tilda.
TILDA: Of course not. Sit down, dear. Let Tabby untie you; I'll put the kettle on.
(Mel sits down in the centre arm chair and Tabby sits to the right of her and begins to untie her arms.)
TABBY: Oh, you must have been having a horrid time. Who did this to you?
MEL: The Kangs. The Red Kangs.
TABBY: Oh those Kangs, they're naughty girls. You're not a Kang are you?
MEL: Ah no.
TILDA: No, we didn't think you were somehow. They're nasty, untrusting girls, who would never take a cup of tea from
two harmless old ladies like us, would they Tabby.
TABBY: Oh no, dear, no. There you are (she has freed Mel's hands).
MEL: Oh, Thank you.
TABBY: Oh, Mel's not at all like a Kang. She's a nice, polite, clean, well spoken girl. Just the sort we like.
MEL: Excuse me.
TABBY: There you are, Tilda, what did I say. Lovely manners, saying excuse me before asking a question. What was it dear?
MEL: I was just going to ask who you were. I mean the Kangs are the Kangs and the Caretakers are the...
TILDA: Oh silly, us. We're the Rezzies. (Tilda comes from the kitchen area and puts a tray on the coffee table containing
tea cups, large cookies and cream then returns to the kitchen.)
MEL: The Rezzies?
TABBY: Well, we're some of the Rezzies anyway. We have a few like minded friends here and there in the towers.
MEL: Have you always lived here.
TILDA: Oh we've been here for ever such a long time, if that's what you mean. (She returns to the sitting area carrying
a tea pot.) How about you?
MEL: Oh I'm just visiting.
TABBY: A visitor. Well, well, must be a long time since the towers saw any of those, hey Tilda?
TILDA: Takes you back, doesn't it.
MEL: Does it? What was it like before?
TILDA: Oh, never mind about that, dear, have some tea and cakes. (Tilda hands Mel a fresh cup of tea.)
TABBY: Oh yes.
MEL: Thanks. I'm really hungry. (Tabby puts a plate on Mel's lap.)
TABBY: Yes. You're a thin little thing, aren't you? Never mind, dear, Tilda and I will feed you up. Won't we?
(Tilda gives Tabby a knowing laugh as she piles lots of sugar in there cups. Both of them exchange looks and then look at Mel
who is enjoying biting into a large cookie coated in chocolate chips.)
19. INT. STREET
(The Doctor is being escorted down yet another darkened street by three Caretakers, one of whom is the Deputy Chief Caretaker.
They are looking rather tired. The Doctor is holding his pocket watch whilst the Deputy reads his rule book.)
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: You're allowed to stop one and a half minutes for every three thousand steps walked.
DOCTOR: And that means?
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: You can stand still for... a while.
DOCTOR: Oh, very generous of you.
(The Doctor takes some deep intake of breath as they stop still in the street. The Caretakers also look rather worn out.)
DOCTOR: It must be a job trying to keep these corridors clean and tidy like this.
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: Oh yes, especially the wallscrawl.
DOCTOR: Oh so that's what you call them. Wallscrawlers.
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: Yes. Dirty pests. Well look at it.
(The Doctor looks about him and notices an interesting picture painted on to one of the walls.)
DOCTOR: By my two tickers, what's that?
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: What's what?
DOCTOR: Well it looks like a Kang and something attacking it, some sort of claw. Oh here look there's a drill and down here
there's a nozzle sucking things up.
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: Yes, well the Wallscrawlers make up a lot of silly pictures.
DOCTOR: Let's hope they're just silly pictures. What's that?
(Coming from down the street behind them is a mechanical whirring sound.)
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: I don't hear anything. Look, Sunbeam, if there was anything wrong, there'd be instructions in here
about how to deal with it, wouldn't there? Erm?
(Just as he finishes a Robotic cleaner appears behind them down the street.)
DOCTOR: Oh, I see. It's some sort of robotic cleaner with autri-motive, bi-carbol scraping blades (sic).
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: You don't understand.
DOCTOR: No, I don't but I intend to. Now let's have a look at those autri-motive blades, shall we. Ah, yes.
(The Doctor is oblivious to the danger that he is in as the robot's blades start to rotate. The Doctor leans in closer when the
claw hidden in the centre of the robot is brought into sight, just missing his head. The Doctor realises the danger.)
DOCTOR: D'you usually do, what I usually do in these circumstances?
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: What's that?
(The Doctor races off followed by the Caretakers as they are all pursued by the Cleaner.)
20. INT. TILDA AND TABBY'S FLAT
(Mel and the old woman are still in the sitting area finishing off there tea and cakes. Tilda is knitting what appears to be a
table cloth. Mel is sipping her tea but finds it rather unusual in taste. Tabby is also drinking her tea but notices nothing outside
of the norm.)
TILDA: Of course, in the old days, things were very different, weren't they, Tabby.
TABBY: Oh very different, Tilda.
MEL: Then what happened?
TABBY: Well my memories not what it was but one thing followed another and before we knew where we were, we were in the pickle
we are today.
TILDA: Now everyone has to fend for themselves, take what they can find. Have another cake, Mel dear, go on.
MEL: Alright then. (She takes another cake from the table) So you were here from the beginning then?
TABBY: Oh yes, dear, yes, ever since the Great architect finished Paradise Towers and all the youngsters and all the oldsters
were moved here.
MEL: And the rest, the in-betweens?
TABBY: Oh well, I don't quite recall. I think they had some else to do? A war to fight or something. All such a long time
ago. I often wonder whether we won that war or not.
TILDA: I don't suppose we'll ever know now, Tabby.
TABBY: No I don't suppose we will, Tilda.
MEL: Do you know anything about a swimming pool?
TILDA: A swimming pool? No I don't think so. I've never heard of one. Have you, Tabby?
TABBY: No I haven't, Tilda. Oh you'd be far better off to stay here with us. Wouldn't she, Tilda?
TILDA: Oh yes, Tabby. She can eat and eat till her heart's content and get nice and plump and healthy, safe from those nasty.
MEL: It's very kind of you both but I'm afraid I will have to go once I've finished my tea. It's very important.
TILDA: Oh nonsense, dear. Finish your cake.
TABBY: No, we'll be very offended if you just rush off so quickly. Won't we, Tilda?
MEL: Well, just a few more minutes, maybe.
TILDA: That's it, dear, plenty of time.
TABBY: All the time in the world. Make the most of the peace and quiet.
(They are interrupted by the front door which is being knocked through by a young man called Pex. He wears a ripped t-shirt, combat
trousers and a ring of gun cartridges around his torso. He enters carrying a gun which he points alternatively at Tilda and Tabby.)
PEX: Are these old ladies annoying you?
PEX: Are you annoying these old ladies?
TILDA AND TABBY: No, she isn't.
TILDA: And I do wish you wouldn't keep breaking down our
door to save us.
TABBY: That's the third time we've had it repaired and it's not as if we've ever been in any trouble.
TILDA: Apart from bits of door flying about all over the place.
MEL: Look, who exactly are you?
PEX: The name's Pex. I put the world of Paradise Towers to rights.
21. INT. STREET
(The Doctor and the Caretakers are running down a long street to a lift at the end. They are being pursued by a Robotic Cleaner.)
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: Quick in the lift.
DOCTOR: But I thought you said the lifts here don't work?
(Inside the lift the Deputy frantically presses the lift button to get it to move but with little success.)
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: No, they don't. Aahh.
DOCTOR: Here let me.
(The Doctor pulls him out of the way, and using his umbrella to tap the keys the panel comes to life and the door closes.
The Doctor raises his hat to the Cleaner on the other side of the door and turns to the Caretaker beside him.)
DOCTOR: Going up?
22. INT. TILDA AND TABBY'S FLAT
(Tilda and Tabby are escorting Mel to the front door as Pex picks through the debris that he created.)
MEL: No, I really do have to go but you have been very kind.
TILDA: Oh it does seem a pity when we were so comfortable.
TABBY: You mustn't be put off by him.
MEL: Oh I wasn't. Don't you worry. But I really must find my friend and the pool.
TILDA: You will come and see us again soon, won't you, dear?
TABBY: Maybe bring your friend.
MEL: Oh, of course. Thank you for everything.
TILDA: Till next time, dear.
TABBY: Well, we'll be looking out for you, dear.
MEL: Yes, bye.
(Mel steps out through the hole in the front door and walks off down the corridor. Tabby turns to Pex, who is posing beside her.)
TABBY: Would you mind going now too please?
(Pex relaxes from his posing and moves out of the flat.)
EXT. TILDA AND TABBY'S FLAT AND STREET
(Mel makes her way along the corridor rather hesitantly at the direction she should take. Pex moves in to join her.)
PEX: Just a minute.
MEL: What is it now?
PEX: You're going on a dangerous journey. You need me to protect you.
MEL: I most certainly do not.
PEX: But that's my job. I'm Pex, I put the world of Paradise Towers to rights.
MEL: Yes, I know all that but I still don't need you.
PEX: Well if you don't need a protector, you might need a guide? Somebody who knows their way about?
MEL: (She considers this option) Alright. I may live to regret this.
(Mel walks off with Pex tailing behind her.)
23. INT. THE CARETAKER HEADQUARTERS
(The Chief Caretaker is sitting at the desk watching a viewing screen. The screen shows a corridor and the Doctor being escorted
from the lift by the Caretakers.)
CHIEF CARETAKER: I don't believe it. It's not possible. It can't be. (He stands up) It could be.
24. INT. THE SQUARE
(A large group of Red Kangs have congregated in the Square around a shrine made up from various pieces of rubbish. The leader joins
them encircled around the shrine. They lower their weapons, make a salute-like gesture then fall to rest on their knees.)
BLUE KANG LEADER: Hail the Kang. Hail the unalive Kang. Yellow of colour but brave and bold as a Kang should be.
BLUE KANGS: Hail the Kang. Hail the unalive Kang. Yellow of colour but brave and bold as a Kang should be.
(In a Street off the square, Mel and Pex hear the chanting and make their way to the source of the noise. They read the square
and observe the Kang ritual.)
MEL: Pex, what's going on? Pex, what's happening in Paradise Towers?
(Pex remains silent as he and Mel watch the Blue Kangs continue to circle the shrine.)
BLUE KANGS: Brave and bold as a Kang should be. Brave and bold as a Kang should be.
25. INT. THE CARETAKER HEADQUARTERS
(The caretakers enter pulling the Doctor along with them. The Chief is at his desk and rises to meet them.)
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: Chief!
CHIEF CARETAKER: Later, Deputy. Release him. Greetings. I am the Chief Caretaker.
DOCTOR: How d'you do. I am...
CHIEF CARETAKER: No need to tell me. I know who you are. You are the man who brought Paradise Towers to life. The visionary
who dreamed up its lift and pools and squares. And now you have returned to your creation. You will make all those dilapidated lifts
and rise and falls as they've never done before. All signs of wallscrawl will disappear from the walls and all will be made as new.
Fellow Caretakers, d'you know who this is. This is the Great Architect returned to Paradise Towers. Bid him welcome. All Hail the Great
Architect, all hail.
CARETAKERS: All hail the great architect.
DEPUTY CHIEF CARETAKER: What shall we do with him now, Chief?
CHIEF CARETAKER: Kill him.
Drinking Fountain (Blue Kang Leader)
Theme Music Composed by
Theme Arrangement / Incidental Music
Assistant Floor Manager
Visual Effects Designer