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Doctor Who: The Leisure Hive

by David Fisher

Transcript by Angela (elannon@optusnet.com.au)

Episode 01

SCENE: Brighton Beach

Not far from the TARDIS, the Doctor is lying on a deck chair snoring with his hat covering his face. K-9 and Romana are walking along the beach. K-9 is listing possible holiday destinations.

K-9: Yegros-alpha - atavistic therapy on primitive asteroid. Zaakros - galaxy's largest flora collection. Zeen-4 - historical re-enactments. Catalogue ends, mistress.
ROMANA: I don't think much of this Earth idea of recreation. Why can't we do something constructive?
K-9: Sea-bathing recommended. A traditional Earth exercise.

Romana is less than impressed.

ROMANA: Well, go on, then! You exercise. Fetch!

She throws the ball and then turns away, heading back up the beach. K-9 goes after the ball. Romana turns just in time to see K-9 heading for the water.


She runs after him.


K-9 enters the water and an explosion is heard. K-9 starts to smoke.

The Doctor is still snoring away on his chair. Romana carries K-9 up to him and dumps the robot on his lap.

ROMANA: Look what you've done.
DOCTOR: What have I done?
ROMANA: You've got the century wrong, the season wrong and you've got K-9's sea-water defences wrong.

The Doctor tips his hat back and looks at her.

DOCTOR: Well, I can't get everything right.
ROMANA: Just something would be a help!
DOCTOR: One must always accept the unexpected.
ROMANA: Well, that's not what you said when we first arrived.
DOCTOR: Well, that's different. It's the second time I've missed the opening of the Brighton Pavilion.
ROMANA: Right place, wrong time.
ROMANA: Well, you know how dangerous it is bypassing the randomiser.
DOCTOR: Well, I can't spend the rest of my life running away from the Black Guardian.
ROMANA: We should be safe here. I shouldn't think even he fancies freezing to death on Brighton Beach.
DOCTOR: Do you have a better suggestion?
ROMANA: I certainly have.
ROMANA: K-9's given me a complete list of recreation facilities in this galaxy.
DOCTOR: Fascinating.
ROMANA: I like the sound of Argolis.
DOCTOR: Argolis? Tell me about it.
ROMANA: It's the first of the leisure planets. In relative Earth date 2,250, there's a hideous war against some reptile people called the Foamasi. Most of the planet gets wiped out by 2,000 interplanetary missiles, but the survivors build a recreation centre called the Leisure Hive. And there's something called an Experiential Grid - cells of different environments designed to produce physical, psychic and intellectual regeneration. That sounds more like it, don't you think, Doctor?

There is no answer.

ROMANA: Doctor?

The Doctor starts to snore. He's fallen asleep again.

SCENE: The Leisure Hive

An Argolin man stands in front of a large window speaking to a group of aliens.

ARGOLIN MAN: Dangerous, ladies and gentlemen. Dangerous because the atmosphere out there is deadly.
SPEAKER: Guide Vargos wanted in the boardroom. Guide Vargos wanted in the boardroom.

The Argolin man raises his hand to his mouth.

VARGOS: Acknowledging. Ladies and gentlemen, I leave you to enjoy the celebrated view of Argolis from the safety of the Hive. I will return shortly.

He makes his way through the crowd.

SCENE: Leisure Hive Boardroom

Several Argolins are seated around a table and a human man is speaking through a telecommunicator.

MAN: I must tell you that even those based on optimum exploitation predict a serious financial down run. That is the optimistic scenario.
ARGOLIN MAN (to Vargos): You won't believe this. Brock looks like backing out.
BROCK: Argolis is suffering from an escalating negative cash flow.
ARGOLIN MAN: What does that mean in plain language?
BROCK: Bluntly, Argolis is headed for bankruptcy.
CHAIRMAN: This Leisure Hive is expensive to maintain. Bookings last year were bad.
BROCK: Next year looks catastrophic. I do apologise for the unfortunate choice of words.
ARGOLIN MAN: You're our Earth agent, Brock! You're responsible for bookings!
CHAIRMAN: Calmly, my son.
BROCK: Argolis is out of date. Planets like Limnos 4, Abydos are much more competitive.
SOMEONE (didn't catch who): I hear they have non-gravity swimming pools.
BROCK: And sleep-reading stations - accelerated learning experiences that cover every subject of the Technic Index.
ARGOLIN MAN: And such vital pastimes as robotic gladiatorial games. So what? Which of these other planets has created a whole new science?
BROCK: Argolis is justly proud of tachyonics, but that science, you will admit, remains, after 40 years, little more than a curiosity.
ARGOLIN MAN: There are developments.
BROCK: I've heard those rumours, yes. But, then again, these expensive experiments return us to the question of finance. I regret I must turn down your kind offer to join you on the board and decline your invitation to invest. Nevertheless...

The Argolin man shuts down the telecommunicator.

CHAIRMAN: That was discourteous, Pangol. There must be no aggression on Argolis. You have only to look at me to be reminded of that.

SCENE: Leisure Hive Shuttlebay

SPEAKER: Attention. Earth shuttle arriving. Attention. Earth shuttle arriving.

SCENE: Leisure Hive Boardroom

CHAIRMAN: At least wait until your mother returns.
PANGOL: You're the chairman.
CHAIRMAN: And she will be the next! Are you not even curious to know the results of the Earth experiments?
PANGOL: Mena's Earth scientist. What does he know about tachyonics?
ARGOLIN MAN: (entering the room) Earth Agent Brock to see you, sir.
PANGOL: Brock! Come to convey his insult personally, no doubt!

Brock enters the room with another human man.

BROCK: Mr Chairman! After all our years of dealings over the telecommunicator, here I am at last. My dear Pangol. It's good to see you, Mr Chairman. But Morix ... I'm sorry, I didn't realise...
PANGOL: Have a look. It's the way we Argolins die.
CHAIRMAN: You must forgive my son, Brock.
BROCK: Oh, Klout, my lawyer.
BROCK: Yes, I've decided to accept the directorship.
CHAIRMAN: I'm very pleased.
BROCK: The question of investment we'll keep on hold for the moment. It may not be necessary. I had an offer from another group.
CHAIRMAN: To finance us?
BROCK: Not exactly, Mr Chairman. They want to buy you out.
CHAIRMAN: We cannot leave the Hive. No one can survive outside it.
BROCK: They want the whole of Argolis.
PANGOL: No. It's not for sale.
BROCK: A dead world in a radioactive atmosphere?
SPEAKER: Demonstration of the Tachyon Recreation Generator is about to start.
CHAIRMAN: (turning to Pangol) It seems you are wanted, my son. You have duties. Perform them!

Pangol reluctantly leaves.

SCENE: Leisure Hive Tachyon Recreation Generator (TRG) Room

PANGOL: Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen. What you're seeing is non-gravity squash.

The crowd is looking at a sphere on which is shown two people playing squash.

PANGOL: A solid image relayed from our own squash courts. The Generator powers the game as well as relaying the image.

He gestures towards the large rectangular box sitting not far from the sphere. Pangol continues speaking, not noticing the TARDIS materializing behind the crowd.

PANGOL: For years, visitors have been interested in the tricks it is possible to play with these solid images. So by way of a preface to the scientific analysis that follows...

The Doctor and Romana join the crowd.

PANGOL: ...let me demonstrate some of the more spectacular possibilities.
DOCTOR: It's got to be unreal transfer.
ROMANA: Why has it got to be?
DOCTOR: It's the only way to manipulate solid objects.
ROMANA: What if I told you this part of the galaxy doesn't discover unreal transfer until 2,386?
DOCTOR: Then how's it done?
ROMANA: I don't know.

While Romana and the Doctor are speaking, Pangol walks inside the box and appears on the sphere.

PANGOL: Don't worry, everything's under control. Or nearly everything.

Pangol's head separates from his body.

SCENE: Leisure Hive Boardroom

CHAIRMAN: You seriously advise me to sell Argolis to the very race against whom we fought the war?
BROCK: An excellent solution, surely.
CHAIRMAN: It's as well my son did not hear this.
BROCK: But that war has been lost and won. What we're discussing here is business.
CHAIRMAN: For some Argolins, that war leaves a bitter memory.
BROCK: For your son, perhaps.
CHAIRMAN: Pangol is sensitive to all aliens. Natural in the youngest of a race that was all but wiped out.
BROCK: I sympathise. Personally, those Foamasi make my skin crawl. It must be the green scales.
CHAIRMAN: Come now, Brock, part of the business of this Hive is to develop cross-cultural understanding. The Foamasi are reptiles with highly-developed intelligence. I don't suppose either you or I appear attractive to them.
BROCK: True. Quite frankly, I can't think what they want with Argolis.
CHAIRMAN: That's easily answered. Reptiles are resistant to radioactivity. There's only one lifeform in the galaxy that could live up there on the surface.
BROCK: The Foamasi?
CHAIRMAN: Precisely.

The Chairman suddenly grips his face in pain. He lowers his hand slowly.

CHAIRMAN: But to be forced to sell them our planet, our home... Would not that be the ultimate defeat?

SCENE: Outside the Leisure Hive

We see shadows of two fierce-looking aliens on the wall.

SCENE: Leisure Hive TRG Room

PANGOL: The development of tachyonics to the stage you see it now and incidentally, the spectacular luminosity you've all been admiring, are both a direct result of the war.

Pangol's head is now floating in the sphere as he speaks.

ROMANA: Tachyonics. The tachyon was first hypothesised on Earth.
DOCTOR: Yes. Nobody there did much with it.

Pangol's head, arms and body are now floating separately all over the sphere.

PANGOL: Therefore, a tachyon field can be made to arrive at Point B that Visidome, say before it's departure from Point A, the Generator. For the next hour and a half, we will examine the wave equations that define the creation of solid tachyonic images.

SCENE: Outside the Leisure Hive

The two aliens are still there. We catch a glimpse of scaly flesh and claws. The aliens are reptilian in appearance. They are cutting a hole in the wall of the Leisure Hive. Actually, it looks like they're drawing a circle in Paint but let's not get technical. One creature enters the Hive.

SCENE: Leisure Hive Boardroom

The Chairman looks ill.

CHAIRMAN: I ... will not sell ... Brock.

The Chairman clutches his face in agony.

BROCK: Morix! Morix! Where is everyone? For goodness sake, get somebody!

Klout heads for the door just as another Argolin steps in.

ARGOLIN MAN: How long has he been like this?
BROCK: Just now. Is there anything we can do?
ARGOLIN MAN: Nothing. His time has come.

The man lifts the Chairman's head from the table. It goes grey.

SCENE: Leisure Hive TRG Room

The alien sneaks through the Hive. It peeks into the TRG room and sees the crowd.

PANGOL: This was the stumbling block in our first series of practical experiments. Paradoxically, the solution is to introduce a random component into the tachyon emission, as long as we can deduct...

The alien closes the door.

SCENE: Leisure Hive Shuttlebay

SPEAKER: Attention. Earth shuttle arriving. Attention. Earth shuttle arriving.

SCENE: Leisure Hive Halls

Mena is walking through the halls from her shuttle.

BROCK: My dear Mena, I must say how sorry I am about Morix. He was a fine Argolin.
MENA: He did his duty. I automatically become Chairman in his place.
BROCK: We expected you to bring the Earth scientist with you.
MENA: Hardin will be here by the next shuttle. Meanwhile, I have a holocrystal of the first trial.
BROCK: Pangol will want to see this.
MENA: Leave him to his work.
BROCK: Your son has no great love for this Earth scientist, I believe?
MENA: He resents the fact that Hardin has found a better use for tachyonics than these Argolin games.
BROCK: A better use?
MENA: Yes, Brock. A better use. Hardin has learned to manipulate time.

SCENE: Leisure Hive TRG Room

Pangol has now exited the TRG.

PANGOL: And this matching tachyon field creates a temporary reduplication of any physical object. Are there any questions?
DOCTOR: I'd forgotten about tachyonics. Some of those Argolin solutions are really quite neat.
ROMANA: Especially the duration problem.
PANGOL: Visitor Loman thinks the demonstration might have been an edited recording. Perhaps you'd care to try it for yourself, Mr Loman.
DOCTOR: I suppose in theory a tachyon image could never be permanent.

Loman disappears into the TRG box and his image appears on the sphere. Pangol manipulates some controls.

PANGOL: First the projection. Two temporarily coincident Lomans are now in existence. Now we can manipulate one without harming the other.

Loman's head and arms separate from his body. However, this time something has gone horribly wrong. Loman starts to scream.

PANGOL: No need to panic.
DOCTOR: Something's gone wrong!

The Doctor rushes over to Pangol.

PANGOL: Who are you?
DOCTOR: I'm a doctor.
PANGOL: The scientist?

The Doctor hurries into the TRG.

ROMANA: Yes, of course.
PANGOL: My mother's most anxious to meet this gentleman.

The Doctor comes out of the TRG.

DOCTOR: He's terribly hurt. Clear the area. Clear the area!

A call is sent out for medical aid.

ROMANA: His mother's most anxious to meet you.
DOCTOR: His mother?

An Argolin man turns the Doctor around.

ARGOLIN MAN: Madam Chairman wishes to see you, sir.
DOCTOR: Yes, but who's in charge here?
ARGOLIN MAN: Madam Chairman.
ROMANA: Must be his mother.
DOCTOR: Good. You take me to his mother. Come, Romana.

The alien has been spying on the proceedings from behind a half open door.

SCENE: Leisure Hive Boardroom

BROCK: Morik sent you all the way to Earth just for this?
MENA: Watch.
HARDIN (on the telecommunicator): In this experiment we propose to explore the temporal anomaly inherent in the tachyon.
BROCK: What is he talking about?
MENA: The tachyon travels faster than light. We always knew time mechanics was theoretically possible. Watch.
HARDIN: The device is now activated.
BROCK: What's supposed to be happening?
MENA: Watch.

On the telecommunicator, the woman in the field becomes younger.

BROCK: I don't believe it.
MENA: Complete cellular rejuvenation. Hardin has perfected a technique that works for living entities.
BROCK: No wonder there's so much secrecy about these experiments.

The Doctor and Romana walk in. The Doctor greets Klout.

DOCTOR: Hello. How do you do? Who are you?
MENA: Stop! Stop! Who are you?

The Doctor now has his arm around a confused looking Klout's shoulders.

DOCTOR: Who am I? Ask him.

The Doctor gestures towards the Argolin man they met in the TRG room.

ARGOLIN MAN: The Earth scientist Hardin. You were expecting him, Madam Chairman.
MENA: But this isn't Hardin.
DOCTOR: No, but it's a very understandable mistake.
MENA: How did you get here? All our visitors have identification.
DOCTOR: Ah, well, we must have missed the usual channels, as usual.

The Doctor backs towards the door.

ARGOLIN MAN: They were taking notes at the lecture, Madam Chairman.
MENA: And now they have seen the Earth experiments.
DOCTOR: Just a glimpse, perhaps.
TELECOMMUNICATOR: The medical centre requests instructions. Earth Visitor Loman is now dead.

An image of Loman's head appears on the screen.

MENA: Dead? Prepare the body for repatriation. We must investigate this thoroughly.

The Doctor and Romana quietly leave the room while Mena is distracted.

MENA: Where have those two gone? I want them brought back here immediately.

SCENE: Leisure Hive Halls

ROMANA: That experiment was a fake, you know.
DOCTOR: You spotted that? Good. Let's get back to the TARDIS.

An Argolin approaches them. The Doctor walks straight up to him.

ARGOLIN MAN: Can I help you?
DOCTOR: No, thank you. We're just on our way out, actually. (He lowers his voice conspiratorially) Oh, by the way, there are two unauthorised visitors on the premises. Keep an ear cocked for a description.
ARGOLIN MAN: Thank you.

The Doctor and Romana keep walking past him.

MENA (over the speaker): Attention. All security guides to be on the alert for two unidentified visitors. Description. One tall curly-headed humanoid in the company of young humanoid female.

The Argolin man turns around but the Doctor and Romana disappear down a corridor.

SCENE: Leisure Hive Squash Court

Romana and the Doctor float past the men playing squash. Romana is hanging onto the end of the Doctor's scarf.

DOCTOR: Don't let me interrupt you, gentlemen. Two discontinuous holograms have been edited together. I noticed a vague interference pattern.
ROMANA: And you noticed the necklace, of course.
ROMANA: The clothes were the same but the necklace was different.
DOCTOR: Yes, that too. Of course.
ROMANA: Of course.
DOCTOR (about the squash players): Why are they so competitive?

SCENE: Leisure Hive TRG Room

The Doctor and Romana peer around the door and into the room. They notice a security camera. The Doctor slips into the room. Romana follows closely behind. They duck down behind the TRG controls to avoid being seen. An Argolin man walks up to the console but turns when another enters.


They both begin talking and Romana and the Doctor move towards the TARDIS. The Doctor studies a humanoid statue.

DOCTOR: I wonder... I wonder...

Romana sneaks around the side of the TARDIS, dragging the Doctor's scarf behind her. The Argolins leave. Romana is mortified to discover that the scarf is not attached to the Doctor, as she thought, but is wrapped around the neck of the statue.

ROMANA: Doctor? Doctor?

The Doctor is heading for the TRG. He heads inside to study the components of the TRG.

DOCTOR: Fascinating. Fascinating.
ROMANA: Doctor! Doctor!

A clawed hand moves up to the controls and activates the TRG. The Doctor's image appears on the sphere and his limbs separate from the body. Romana is terrified.


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