"THE CURSE OF THE FATAL
First Broadcast 12th March 1999 as part of
(The DOCTOR's TARDIS is drifting through the space/time vortex.)
2. MASTER's TARDIS
(The MASTER is watching the image on his scanner and chuckling. The image
switches to a behind view of the DOCTOR operating the TARDIS console.)
MASTER: You are doomed Doctor. Doomed! you are piloting your TARDIS into a
deadly trap and even you will not suspect until it's too late.
(He breaks into manic laughter.)
DOCTOR: You know, if you're going to spy on me you really should turn the
MASTER: My dear Doctor, after our many centuries of conflict I wished you
to know that your certain death is now... certain!
(He breaks into manic laughter again and switches the scanner off.)
But even you will not suspect that your destruction awaits you on Planet
DOCTOR (oov): You only turned the picture off I'm afraid, I can still hear
MASTER: I know that. Of course I know that. Curse you!
DOCTOR: (oov): I wanted to talk to you anyway. I have some news that even
my arch enemy needs to hear. Meet me on the Planet Terserus in two hours,
relative time. And try not to be late.
MASTER: Mock me while you may, Doctor. My revenge will be all the sweeter.
And it will be a deadly vengeance. It will be the deadly vengeance of deadly
(Terserus is a bleak, rocky planet. On the top of a cliff stands a castle.)
4. Main Hall
(The DOCTOR's TARDIS materialises inside the castle. EMMA steps out
followed by the DOCTOR.)
EMMA: Where are we Doctor?
DOCTOR: The Planet Terserus, once home to the Terserons, the most kindly
and peace-loving race I've ever encountered. And yet one of the most shunned
and abhored species of all history.
DOCTOR: They could communicate only by precisely mondulated gastric
EMMA: Oh no. Planet of the bottom-burps? So what happened to them?
DOCTOR: They discovered fire.
(Suddenly two fireballs hit them and they are held back against the wall.
The MASTER strolls on.)
MASTER: No doubt because no one has set foot on this planet for a hundred
years, you thought you had escaped my traps. But you forget Doctor, I too have
a TARDIS. When you told me to meet you at Castle Terserus, I simply travelled
back in time and bribed the architect. Say hello to the spikes of doom!
(The wall revolves around in a full circle. However, the DOCTOR and EMMA
emerge seated on a sofa.)
DOCTOR: Say hello to the sofa of reasonable comfort. Naturally I
anticipated your journey back in time, and so travelled slightly further back
and bribed the architect first.
MASTER: Or so you think! Naturally I anticipated your travelling back in
time, so I travelled back to an even further point. And I bribed the architect
(He aims his laser at the ceiling just above the DOCTOR and EMMA and a huge
piece of rock falls on top of them. However, they simply step out of a door in
DOCTOR: Well naturally I anitcipated your journey back in time to an even
EMMA: Doctor, will you stop showing off. You've got something to tell the
Master, just tell him.
DOCTOR: Very well. I have recently calculated that I have saved every
planet in the known universe a minimum number of 27 times. Well you know, I
have grown weary of all the evil in the cosmos. All the cruelty, all the
suffering, all those endless gravel quarries. And so I have decided to retire,
settle down and get married.
DOCTOR: Yes. Without even knowing I was looking, I have found a woman I
love. A woman more fascinating than all my travels through time and space. A
girl more exciting than an escape up a vetilation shaft. A lover more
thrilling than an army of cybernetic slugs.
MASTER: Sadly Doctor, I am unable to wish you a long and happy marriage
because the moment I am done with this nausiating conversation I shall travel
back in time once more and buy the architect an expensive dinner and suggests
that he puts a lever just here...
(He clutches a convinient lever in the wall next to him.)
...and a trapdoor leading to the vast and disgusting sewers of Terserus,
(He points to where the DOCTOR and EMMA are standing.)
Prepare for 500 miles of fear and feisies. Goodbye, forever, Mr and Mrs
Transcribed by Joseph Oldham.
END OF PART 1
Move on to the Next Episode