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Broadcast 27th August 1993 and 12th April 1994
Running time 27 minutes 51 seconds

VOICE: The Paradise of Death, starring Jon Pertwee as the Doctor with Nicholas Courtney as Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart and Elisabeth Sladen as Sarah Jane Smith. Episode 1.


KITSON: (on commercial) Feeling like nothing on Earth? Come to Space World and fly to the moon! Life getting humdrum? Come to Space World and take a trip to the stars! Kids getting you down? Bring them to Space World, the new theme park only ten minutes walk from Hampstead station. For a mere 20 a head you can have the experience of a lifetime! Space rides that'll take you breath away, light saver duels with the robot of death, space challenges from the warriors of Greeth, fabulous prizes to be won, but best of all, (getting quieter) the monsters from outer space, 21 alien creatures so perfect in every detail you'll have to believe they're real! Come to Space World, the great day out for all the family!

FX: (button being pushed)

FREETH: Not bad. Not bad at all. Young Kitson is learning. I could have wished that he'd've mentioned the name of the corporation. That, after all, is the object of the exercise. Perhaps we should have called it the Parakon Corporation Space Park like a sponsored horse race. It lacks a certain je ne sais quoi though, wouldn't you say Tragen?

TRAGEN: If it did the job...

FREETH: You're a pragmtist of course, the finer feelings are a closed book to you. It must be the effect of consorting with those ghastly little pets of yours.

TRAGEN: You'd have been in a fine pickle without them.

FREETH: True, true. A nasty moment. How much longer Crestin?

CRESTIN: (over radio) We'll be landing in two or three minutes, Chairman Freeth.

FREETH: About time. Well Tragen, here we go again!


BILL & NOBBY: (singing) 'Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go...

BILL: Hey look!

NOBBY: (singing) 'Ere we go...

BILL: Hey belt up, will you? Give us a leg up.

NOBBY: What?

BILL: Give us a leg up.

FX: (rustling of bushes)

NOBBY: What you on about?

BILL: It's that new space park. You know, all the fuss in the papers, monsters and that. Come on Nobby, there's nobody about.


CRESTIN: (over radio) OK, Mr Freeth, coming into land now.

FREETH: Very good.

FX: (electronic beeping)

FREETH: What are you doing Tragen?

TRAGEN: An elementary precaution.

FREETH: You're always such an old misery. They'll be no trouble, Kitson would have warned us.

TRAGEN: That's just what you said last time.

FX: (creature roaring)


BILL: (laughing) Get up! Get up, you great nerd! Hey, look at this. The Giant Ostroid from the Planet Veldron.

NOBBY: Its kick could diss... dissem... dissembowel an elephant. Cor!

BILL: Fly through the gargantuum caverns of southern Mars.

FX: (whooshing of air)

BILL: Take a walk on the wild side of Mercury.

FX: (whooshing of air gets louder)

NOBBY: Hey, what's that? It's a bleedin' UFO! Landing, look! Cor, what we waiting for?

BILL: Come back! Nobby!


FX: (automatic door opening)

FREETH: Ah, Kitson.

KITSON: Hello Mr Freeth. May I introduce Mr Gebber?

FREETH: How do you do Mr Grebber? We meet at last.

GREBBER: An honour, Mr Freeth, a great honour indeed.

FREETH: No trouble?

KITSON: Everything's going very well.

NOBBY: Hey! Where's the little green men then?

BILL: Nobby, let's get out of here!

NOBBY: Take us to your leader!

TRAGEN: Go, go, go!

FX: (roaring of the creature, Bill and Nobby's helpless screams)

FREETH: (laughing) That was hardly necessary, Tragen.

TRAGEN: But very satisfying, you must admit.

FREETH: Not feeling well, Grebber? Don't let them both be eaten. A corpse could be good publicity.


SARAH: Now come on Doctor, you're not seriously telling me that you travelled back to Atlantis? In that old police box?

THE DOCTOR: My dear Sarah, as they used to say on Venus... Hold that still for me, will you? Yes, that's right...

SARAH: They used to say what?


SARAH: On Venus.

THE DOCTOR: You'd swallow a Klaklok and choke on a Minian Dust Fly.

SARAH: A Klaklok?

THE DOCTOR: Klaklok, yes, a large beast, a bit like a moose with no horns. A nervous creature. It had two heads so that a pack of Paty-Fangs couldn't creep up on it, never knew whether it was coming or going. Very confused animal, all in all. Thank you. You can let go now.

SARAH: Oh. Oh, yes. Well, well what's all this got to do with going back to Atlantis?

THE DOCTOR: You've been in the TARDIS yourself, about 800 years back, to merry England.

SARAH: Merry, that lot?

THE DOCTOR: Grim bunch, weren't they, old Irongron and his chums? If you can swallow that, why choke on 3000 years more?

SARAH: Oh, Atlantis. It's a fantasy, a legend.

THE DOCTOR: It was quite a hairy trip. The poor old TARDIS was almost done for. Time ram!

SARAH: Oh, don't tell me. The TARDIS was attacked by a randy sheep with a clock for a face.

THE DOCTOR: She collided with another TARDIS in the time vortex. They ended up inside each other.

SARAH: You mean the TARDIS was inside the other one?

THE DOCTOR: And the other one was inside the TARDIS. No way out, like a four-dimensional merdia strip.

SARAH: I think you're not taking this interview very seriously, Doctor. My editor...

THE DOCTOR: Interview?

SARAH: She's going to say it's a load of old rubbish.

THE DOCTOR: Do you mean to tell me that you've been interviewing me?

SARAH: Well, well yes, I, I thought you...

THE DOCTOR: My dear Sarah, just because you saved my life a couple of times hardly entitles you to...

BRIGADIER: Ah, there you are, Doctor.

THE DOCTOR: Of course I am, where else would I be? Honestly, Lethbridge-Stewart, at times you can be extremely annoying.

BRIGADIER: Ah, good morning.

THE DOCTOR: Oh, this is Miss Sarah Jane Smith, a journalist. She's just leaving.

SARAH: No I wasn't, Doctor. Look I'm sorry if I've upset you but...

THE DOCTOR: Is it important, Brigadier? Because I'm trying to get some work done. Goodbye Miss Smith.

SARAH: But Doctor...

FX: (whirring noise)

THE DOCTOR: Look, the psychotelemetric circuit of the TARDIS has gone on the blink, Brigadier, and I am finding you consistantly...

FX: (whirring stops)

THE DOCTOR: Oh look, now look what you've made me do. What do you want for Pete's sake?

BRIGADIER: Well, I want you to come with me to the opening of this new exhibition thing on Hampstead Heath. I have to...

THE DOCTOR: Exhibition?

BRIGADIER: Oh, theme park, funfair, or whatever. You must have noticed the Apollo rocket. It dominates the whole north London skyline.

SARAH: You mean Space World? I might come too. The press showing is at 12 o'clock.

BRIGADIER: That's it, 12 o'clock. What you might call a private view.

THE DOCTOR: Er, Lethbridge-Stewart, do I understand you correctly, that you have catastrophically interrupted a very tricky operation on which, I might add, the entire navigation circuits of the TARDIS could depend, to invite me to a children's funfair?

BRIGADIER: I'm sorry, Doctor, if I've come at a bad time but I really do need your advice. Scotland Yard have been onto UNIT. A body has been found not so far away. from the perimeter fence, brutally attaked, belly ripped open.

SARAH: Oh no.

BRIGADIER: Forgive me, Miss Smith, but those are the facts.

THE DOCTOR: I'm sorry to hear it but I still can't see how it concerns me personally.

BRIGADIER: The Home Office has turned over the investigation to UNIT. To me, in point of fact.

THE DOCTOR: Then may I suggest that you do a little investigating? Goodbye Brigadier. There.

BRIGADIER: Yes, well I must have your help. I have to get stuck in straight away, before the press arrive. Ask a few questions, that sort of thing.

THE DOCTOR: Then get Miss Smith to hold your hand, she's very good at asking questions. If there were any sign that this incident was anything more than a peculiarly horrible murder then of course I'd...

BRIGADIER: But that's just it, that's just why UNIT is involved. The pathologist said that the man's injuries were consistant with an attack by a large animal, one of unbelievable strength. Apparently the thigh bone had been bitten clean through.

THE DOCTOR: There isn't a creature on Earth capable of doing that.

BRIGADIER: Precisely. He said it looked like the man had been savaged by a...


BRIGADIER: Well, it sounds absurd, but the way he put it, by a six foot, sabre-toothed Rottweiler.


CRESTIN: 1, 2. Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3, 4.

GREBBER: We gotta tell them the truth.

FREETH: (mockingly) The truth?

GREBBER: Well, not the truth as such, I suppose, but say it was an accident or something.

FREETH: We shall do nothing of the kind.

GREBBER: Now listen to me, Mr Freeth, I didn't bargain for...

FREETH: You'd be best advised to listen to me. (laughs) Mr Grebber, I shall be forever in your debt for the excellent job your people have done on the site but you're playing with the big boys now.

GREBBER: Well that's all very well...

FREETH: You saw last night how my esteemed colleague, Mr Tragen, gets his kicks. If I should drop the least little smidgeon of a hint, and do assure you it would hurt me more than it would hurt... Well no, perhaps not, but there, business is business. I have my shareholders to think of.

GREBBER: (unsure) You wouldn't dare.

FREETH: Oh, we're playing dare now? What fun. Go on then. Try me.

FX: (knocking)

FREETH: Now's your chance, here they come.


SARAH: But I must have a photographer!

CLORINDA: (over telephone) I tell you I haven't got one! They're all on assignments.

SARAH: But I must have one, I simply must!

CLORINDA: (over telephone) How is it, Sarah Jane, that it's always must with you?

FX: (hammering on window)

MAN: (shouting) You laying eggs in there?

SARAH: What's the point of hiring the finest investigative journalist in the business...

CLORINDA: (over telephone) Pause for hollow laughter.

SARAH: Clorinda! I can find out how they work those wretched monsters. You can run a "Metropolitan reveals all" on it. But let's face it, it'd be a bit naff without any pics! Come on. Oh, I've run out of money.

CLORINDA: (over telephone) Oh, you win. I'll do my best but I...

FX: (dialling tone)


FX: (reciever being placed down)

MAN: 'Bout time too.

SARAH: Why didn't I go in for shovelling horse manure like my dear Papa wanted?

MAN: Eh?


TRAGEN: Now listen to me, Brigadier whatever-your-name-is, we've told you all we know and that's nothing at all, right?

BRIGADIER: Just routine. And my name is Lethbridge-Stewart.

TRAGEN: See, this is ridiculuous, badgering Mr Freeth in this way. We can all vouch for each other and that's the end of it.

THE DOCTOR: Explacement, Mr Tragen?


THE DOCTOR: Yes, I thought as much. To summon the characteristics the world over, one might almost say universally.

FREETH: Mr Tragen is now our vice-chairman in charge of our entertainments division.

THE DOCTOR: Ah, I see.

TRAGEN: And what exactly do you see, Doctor?

THE DOCTOR: Quite a lot, Mr Tragen, you'd be surprised. Well Brigadier, that covers everything for the moment. Thank you again for your help, Mr Freeth. We shall meet again.

BRIGADIER: No, no, Mr Kitson, we can see ourselves out, thank you.

FX: (door closing)

GREBBER: (panicked) They're onto us! That Doctor guy, 'e knows, 'e knows I tell you!

TRAGEN: Quiet! They'll hear you.


FX: (crowd)

BRIGADIER: Out with it then.

THE DOCTOR: Out with what?

BRIGADIER: Well you obviously noticed something about that char that I missed.

THE DOCTOR: Not a bit of it.

BRIGADIER: With all those cracks.


BRIGADIER: "Universally", stuff like that. I thought you'd spotted that they'd all got Martian socks on or whatever.

THE DOCTOR: That's what I thought they'd think. Now you brought me here to see if there's an alien dimension to this murder. Well if there is and our friends are involved, they'll be quite worried now. And a worried man is a careless man, Brigadier.

BRIGADIER: Mmm, clever stuff. Ah, Miss Smith, we meet again. Are you going to join us on this guided tour affair due to start in a couple of jiffs?

SARAH: Yes, I'd love to, I'm just waiting for the magazine's photographer. My editor said... (groans) Oh no.

THE DOCTOR: What's up?

SARAH: (loudly) Jeremy! Over here!

JEREMY: Sarah! Thank goodness I've found you. All these people...

SARAH: But you're not a photographer!

JEREMY: Ah, well you see, I got a message from Clorinda about that. Er, she said she'd do her best and so she'd sent me and not to laugh. Don't quite know what she meant.

SARAH: I feel more like crying. You don't know anything about taking photos.

JEREMY: No no no, you're going to do all that stuff. Clorinda sent her own camera and if a monster eats it, we're both sacked.

SARAH: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Doctor, Brigadier, may I introduce Jeremy Fitzoliver? Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart and the Doctor.

KITSON: (over P.A.) Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please?

BRIGADIER: Better get over there.


FX: (crowd talking)

FREETH: (addressing the crowd) And afterwards I hope you will join us for a wee sniffta and munchies in the Space Restaurant and the Apollo Moon Rocket. Now I know you'll be simply panting to get at all the wonders we have for you, so I have our friend and colleague, Marak Kitson.

SARAH: Marak? What sort of a name is that?

THE DOCTOR: You may well ask.

KITSON: Well now, we'll start with a little look at our menagerie of creatures from outer space, beginning with the Crab-clawed Chamelias from the deserts of Aldeveron II. Let's go in.

FX: (talking gets louder)

FREETH: (in background) Come on, ladies and gentlemen.

KITSON: Oh, just one thing. Although every precaution has been taken, I should point out that all these creatures are killers. Keep on the right side of the barriers, make no sudden moves or loud noises.

FX: (laughter)

KITSON: And of course, no cameras are allowed.

FX: (murmurs of disappointment)

SARAH: (sarcastically) Great.

KITSON: Don't worry, ladies and gentlemen, you'll all be given a handsome pack of shots in the hospitally room at lunchtime.


FX: (roaring)

KITSON: Ladies and gentlemen, the Crab-clawed Chamelias!

FX: (roaring)

BRIGADIER: Good grief!

JEREMY: I say!

BRIGADIER: It's a real animal! It's the real thing!

THE DOCTOR: Have you ever seen the Clawed Chamelias before, Brigadier?

BRIGADIER: Well of course not.

THE DOCTOR: No. And you're not seeing one now.

SARAH: Well I wouldn't like to meet him up a dark alley.

THE DOCTOR: Where did you say this creature comes from, Mr Kitson?

KITSON: It lives in the deserts of Aldeveron II, a small planet about the size of Venus.

THE DOCTOR: About 68 light years away, if I'm not mistaken.

KITSON: (taken aback) That is correct.

THE DOCTOR: Then would you kindly explain how you persuaded it to come to Hampstead Heath?

KITSON: That, Doctor, would be telling.

FX: (laughter)

KITSON: The normal diet for the Chamelias is a creeping land mullusk with a carapace as thick as a tortoises, which explains the claws, though I don't suppose he'd object to a more sort of ready-shelled journalist.

FX: (laughter)


FX: (groans, agonized moaning)

KITSON: The stench is putrifying, coming from the Stench-slug's pit is due, I'm afraid, to his storing of the decomposing corpses of the giant slugs for breakfast in his feeding bowl. Up there. He's eating one now.

FX: (more groaning)

SARAH: Come along, Jeremy.

JEREMY: Can't take it, eh?

SARAH: Oh, don't be so silly, come on.

KITSON: Not perhaps a candidate for best house pet of the year. And if you'd like to come this way...

JEREMY: It's a good show, isn't it?

SARAH: Get a move on!

JEREMY: Where are we going?

SARAH: I need you to keep watch. I'm going to get a candid camera shot of that Chamelia thing.


FREETH: Ah, Tragen, where is Grebber?

TRAGEN: Well, I thought he was with you.

FREETH: I've been thinking. In the circumstances I don't like the idea of his running around loose, he could be a problem.

TRAGEN: Agreed. I'll find him. Maybe the problem needs a solution, a terminal one.

FREETH: You'd enjoy that, you wicked old Tragen, you... (giggles)

TRAGEN: (icily) How well you know me, chairman.


FX: (photo being taken)

SARAH: Oh, that's it, sweetheart, look this way.

FX: (photo being taken)

SARAH: Lovely. Come towards me. Come on, I won't bite. That's my boy. (gasps)

FX: (Chamelia roars)

JEREMY: Sarah! Quick, there's someone coming.


SARAH: Pretend to be dim-witted.


SARAH: On second thoughts stay as sweet as you are. Hi, there. We're having a bit of a look round.

GREBBER: You the ones who was with that Doctor geezer, in't ya? I saw you through the window.

SARAH: Er, yes, that's right.

GREBBER: I've got to see him pronto, where is he?

SARAH: I think he must have got to the moon walk by now. If he's still with them.

GREBBER: You're a doll. Look, if you catch up with him before I do, will you give him a message for me?

SARAH: Of course.

GREBBER: Tell him I lied this morning. Tell him...

TRAGEN: Ah, Mr Grebber. We've been looking all over for you. Mr Freeth would like a word.

GREBBER: Yeah. Yeah, sure.

TRAGEN: Can I be of any assistance?

SARAH: We're a bit lost actually. Erm, got here late you see. We don't seem to be able to locate the main party.


SARAH: Elisabeth Ragina?

TRAGEN: The Experienced Reality pavillion...


TRAGEN: ...is just beyond the moon walk, over there.

SARAH: Oh thanks, yes. Come on Jeremy!

JEREMY: (indignantly) I wasn't late, I even took a taxi!

SARAH: Oh Jeremy!


BRIGADIER: What do you think, Doctor?

THE DOCTOR: They should make a lot of money.

BRIGADIER: Yes but what do you think...

KITSON: Experienced Reality! It may look like a rest room to you but these luxuriant ergonomically perfect couches offer you an experience which will blow your mind. Like to go skiing? Can't ski? Oh yes you can. You can ski as well as next year's Olympic champion! Skin diving, windsurfing, hang gliding, you name it, and not just on a HiFi telescreen. I'm talking about a real experience! A leisure experience things beyond your wildest dreams.

REPORTER: (jokingly) What about the things I dream about when I'm on my luxuriant couch?

FX: (laughter)

KITSON: Well sir, although it wouldn't be appropriate to offer such delights to the public, the technology is there.

REPORTER: Do you mean to say...?

KITSON: An opera lover, perhaps? You can not only be present at the first night of Traviata but, if you wish, you can experience the joy of singing the lead role yourself, of being the star! A boxing fan? You can choose to take on...

REPORTER: All fine and dandy but why not let us have a go?

KITSON: Why not indeed? If you'd care to take your places on the couches. Put on the ligthweight headsets and choose a channel from the small control panel on the arm. I'm afraid there are not quite enough places for all of you, so if you would be good enough to take it in turns...

THE DOCTOR: Go ahead, Brigadier.

BRIGADIER: Oh no, you ought to go first.

DOCTOR: Very noble of you but it will only be a more sophisticated form of virtual reality.

FX: (laughter, electric buzzing noise (E.R. equipment))

BRIGADIER: Well now, what shall I try? How about a day at the races.

FX: (E.R. equipment)

BRIGADIER: Good grief, I'm there! I'm really there!

THE DOCTOR: (faintly) Not a computer model?

FX: (shouting, footsteps)

BRIGADIER: No, no I tell you, I'm really there. I'm walking down towards the paddock. It's, it's Epsom. I can feel the wind on my face and, by crikey, I can smell the horses.

THE DOCTOR: Try turning round and walking back the way you came.

BRIGADIER: Well frankly I don't want to, I'm quite happy as I am.

THE DOCTOR: Scientific experiment, Lethbridge-Stewart! Remember why we're here.

BRIGADIER: Oh very well. No, I can't. I'm still walking down to the parade of runners.

THE DOCTOR: Try harder!

BRIGADIER: (grunts) It's no good. I'm leaning on the rail now but it doesn't matter, you see? That's what I want to do.

THE DOCTOR: That's what the programme wants you to do!


THE DOCTOR: Oh never mind. May I change the channel for you?

BRIGADIER: Well, if you must but I...

FX: (E.R. equipment)



FX: (waves)

BRIGADIER: It's like hitting an air bucket. I seem to have landed on some beach, somewhere. Don't know where. Damn hot. Strong smell of flowers. Good heavens above!

THE DOCTOR: What is it?

BRIGADIER: Those aren't my legs! Those are not my legs!

THE DOCTOR: Are you sure?

BRIGADIER: Well of course I'm sure. Since when have I painted my toenails pink? Those are female legs for Pete's sake, and yet they're my legs, or not, if you see what I mean. Here, you'd better have a go.

SARAH: Oh, Doctor.

FX: (E.R. equipment, talking)

BRIGADIER: Ah, Miss Smith, come and have a go of this. Just the thing for your paper. Incredible!

SARAH: No, I... Can you come outside a mo?


FREETH: He doesn't look at all well, Tragen. Decidedly peaky. He's not dead already?

TRAGEN: I know what I'm doing. The transmitter needles are a little larger than usual, that's all. His system will soon recover.

18. ROOM

THE DOCTOR: And that's all he said?

SARAH: Well that was all he had time for.

BRIGADIER: What was he like, this fellow?

JEREMY: (with distain) Bit of an oik, actually.

SARAH: Oh Jeremy! He was a Londoner, that's all. Sort of cockney accent.

BRIGADIER: Grebber, by jove!

THE DOCTOR: Yeah, obviously. Thank you Sarah. We must try and have a word with Mr Grebber. He might be most helpful.

JEREMY: Well I thought he was an oik.

THE DOCTOR: Yes, well this merely confirms what I feel about this place. It could pose a real threat, there's danger here.

BRIGADIER: What, you mean the monsters?

THE DOCTOR: No no no, I'm pretty sure that none of those creatures could harm a fly.

SARAH: But he Chamelias?

THE DOCTOR: Yes, well if I'm right, you'd be safer with them than if you were in a field of new-born lambs. No, it's this place I'm talking about. This E.R., this Experienced Reality.

BRIGADIER: Nonsense, great fun. Wouldn't mind having another go.

THE DOCTOR: Exactly. And another, and another until you're as hooked on E.R. as a junkie is on heroin.

BRIGADIER: Oh come on Doctor, you must be having us on. It's just one up from the telly, that's all.

THE DOCTOR: And how many people are there who have to have their nightly fix of their favourite soap opera? Look, that's not what I'm talking about! Now think, man, think. How must it work?

BRIGADIER: I haven't the foggiest. How does it work?

THE DOCTOR: Well, at first I thought it must be a subtle form of suggestion, a sort of electronic hypnotism which merely provided a seed of experience on which your own brain expanded. But two things gave me the clue. Firstly, the way the programme went its own way no matter how much you tried to change it and secondly, your painted toenails.

SARAH: Painted toenails? Wow, Brigadier!

JEREMY: I say!

BRIGADIER: Yes, well we won't go into that.

THE DOCTOR: Oh yes we will. Look, don't you see? Somebody had those experiences. Somebody went to Epsom races with a sensory transmitter implanted in his brain. Every sense impression of the woman on the beach was transmitted to a polygraph recorder and those sense inpressions were reformed in the Brigadier's brain, even down to the scent of the flowers.

BRIGADIER: I knew I'd smelt it before. Must have been the Carribean.

SARAH: But how can you say it's dangerous? It sounds great.

JEREMY: Absolutely wizzo-wicked!

THE DOCTOR: Look, the programme took charge of the Brigadier's emotions. He wanted to go where he was being taken.

BRIGADIER: Oh, not entirely.

THE DOCTOR: Well, for all practical purposes, yes. And it's even worse than that. If these people, wherever they come from, have the technology to transmit braiin signals and influence the reciever's will, they have the means to control a country, to control the world!


TRAGEN: Wake up, Mr Grebber.

FREETH: You'd better hide the implantation gun.

TRAGEN: It hardly matters if he sees it now, does it? Come on, open your eyes.

GREBBER: Where am I? What happened?

TRAGEN: You passed out, that's all.

GREBBER: Eh? I never fainted in my life.

FREETH: You'd better be getting home, Grebber.

GREBBER: (confused) Home? What you up...? I thought you... I don't seem to be able to remember...

FREETH: And if you don't feel better in the morning, you'd better go and see your doctor.

TRAGEN: Good advice, Mr Grebber.

GREBBER: Yeah. Yeah, I think I'll...

FX: (door shutting)

FREETH: I hope you know what you're doing. The headset is larger than normal E.R. type, too.

TRAGEN: Well, of course. I'm transmitting as well as recieving. Ah, got him.

FREETH: What's he doing?

TRAGEN: He's hurrying towards the main gate. I've stopped him. I'm turning and I'm making for the Apollo Tower.

FREETH: (cheerfully) Goodbye Grebber!


FX: (crowd talking)

SARAH: Mmm, smoked salmon. They're doing us proud.

JEREMY: I'm bored with smoked salmon. Every party you go to they...

SARAH: Oh, listen to the deb's delight. Think yourself lucky it's not a pickled onion on a toothpick. Oh, where's the Doctor got to?

JEREMY: Up in the observaton room at the top of the tower, I think, with the Brigadier.


THE DOCTOR: All the circumstancial evidence points to them having come from the other side of the galaxy. So why should they...?

BRIGADIER: What? What evidence do you mean?

THE DOCTOR: The creatures, the extremely advanced brain technology, the...

BRIGADIER: But you said the monsters were fakes, you said that they...

THE DOCTOR: I said no such thing, Brigadier, it's the names that are fakes. Chamelias, Ostroid. I'm suprised they didn't show us a two-trunked Elephantarsus from the Planet Junglon.

BRIGADIER: Planet Junglon? Where's that?

THE DOCTOR: Well I don't know, I just made it up.

BRIGADIER: Oh, I see, yes.

THE DOCTOR: So I think it must be true that they know more about the murder than they pretend. I'm looking forward to having another word with our friend Grebber.

SARAH: Doctor, look, out there on the scaffolding!

BRIGADIER: Good grief, it's Grebber!

THE DOCTOR: He looks as if he's going to jump. Quick, denice ports open.

BRIGADIER: Er, never, I'll go and get Kitson.

SARAH: Doctor, where are you going?

THE DOCTOR: To get him to turn round! Try to keep his attention!

SARAH: Er, right. (shouting) Mr Grebber! Over here!

FX: (hammering on window)


FX: (crowd)

BRIGADIER: And you'd better get the fire brigade with a high rise ladder.

KITSON: Right.

VOICE: (over radio) Security, it's Thompson here.

KITSON: Emergency, Apollo Tower, there's a man on the scaffolding.


FX: (hammering on a window)

SARAH: (shouting) Please Mr Grebber, please turn round. Mr Grebber! (in alarm) No!

BRIGADIER: What's going on?

SARAH: It's the Doctor, he's out there with Mr. Grebber!


FX: (howling wind)

THE DOCTOR: (shouting above the wind) Don't look down! That's the way. Just hold on tight! Look at me, Mr Grebber, look at me! That's it. We'll soon have you safe.

GREBBER: I wanted to finish it all. I don't know why. I... Help me!

THE DOCTOR:Now just hold on. Help's on its way, now just hang on tight.

GREBBER: I can hang on any longer, I shall fall. Help me please!

THE DOCTOR: Yes, alright. Stay there. I'll come to you. Now give me a hand. You can do it. Hold tight with your left hand. There. Now reach out with your right. Now take my hand. That's the way. I've got you!

(Tragen's voice is heard over Grebber's)

TRAGEN/GREBBER: I'm sorry, Doctor, I really am sorry. I just can't help myself.

THE DOCTOR: What are you doing, man? (alarmed) What are you doing?! You'll have us both over!

TRAGEN/GREBBER: I'm sorry. (screams) Aaahh!


FX: (E.R. equipment)

FREETH: Tragen, are you alright?

TRAGEN: (shaken) Yes, yes, I'm fine. I stayed with him too long, that's all. I couldn't resist it. The sheer mortal terror of the man. It was ecstasy Freeth, I tell you, utter ecstasy!

FREETH: Oh, delicious!

TRAGEN: And we've been given a bonus. We shalln't have any more trouble from that meddling Doctor. He came over with me. The Doctor's dead!

The Doctor

Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart

Sarah Jane Smith



Jeremy Fitzoliver

Crestin * Bill * Radio Voice * Man

Nobby * Kitson

Grebber * Reporter


Written by

Title Music Composed by

Additional Music and Title Music Arranged by

Directed by

Transcribed by


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