By Eric Saward
(The Doctor starts banging on the door.)
MAIN COMP: You won't get it open.
DOCTOR: And neither will you get away with your despicable plan!
MAIN COMP: The crew will not die by my hand.
DOCTOR: But you know what is going to happen! You could warn them!
MAIN COMP: To what purpose?
DOCTOR: So they could abandon ship!
MAIN COMP: Come, Doctor. Half the crew is a carbon based lifeform. You know how hard they fight. Most of them wouldn't leave if they were given the chance!
DOCTOR: Please! Tell them about the danger!
MAIN COMP: And have them try and dismantle me? I don't think so!
2: CAPTAIN'S ROOM
SLARN: Look at my pastels grow!
STEWARD: Oh, please, sir!
SLARN: I've never seen anything develop so quickly!
STEWARD: You mustn't sir, you really mustn't!
SLARN: Soon my body will contain enough virus to wipe out a whole planet. Let alone this pathetic ship!
STEWARD: But sir, your vengeance is only against one man.
SLARN: So what? I have always been... vindictive by nature!
3: OUTSIDE THE COMPARTMENT
(Snatch and Seedle are puzzling over the door.)
SEEDLE: I've never met such a devious door. It refuses to open.
SNATCH: Shall I blast it, sir?
SEEDLE: You have a one-track mind, Snatch.
GRANT: The door is made of Estidian steel, not even a Bastik torpedo would scratch it.
SNATCH: It sounds like the sort of door you'd fit to a safe, sir.
GRANT: How should I know? I'm a computer programmer, not a safe builder.
SEEDLE: Then I would prefer to draw my own conclusions, if you don't mind.
PERI: Which are?
SEEDLE: The missing art treasures are behind that door.
MAIN COMP: I know that you have a TARDIS, Doctor. And that you will try to return to it.
DOCTOR: That's fair speculation.
MAIN COMP: I have not dismantled it if that's what you're thinking.
DOCTOR: There has to be a "but" involved somewhere.
MAIN COMP: Only a small one. You recall the Maston? It's still roaming in the ducting.
DOCTOR: Let me guess. Somewhere between here and my TARDIS?
MAIN COMP: There is every probability. If he finds you, he will try and kill you? He does that sort of thing you know...
DOCTOR: And I suppose that won't be murder either.
MAIN COMP: The creature is a primitive predator. It's simply obeying it's instincts.
DOCTOR: There is something slightly warped about your reasoning.
COMPUTER: (beeps into life) I was beginning to think that, too.
MAIN COMP: Be quiet!
DOCTOR: Why did you bring the Maston here?
MAIN COMP: To create a diversion. I was concerned that a member of the crew might discover my drones building in this cell.
DOCTOR: And you decided to leave it lurking around the ducting?
COMPUTER: I could have (hic) tried to have it (hic) ejected out into space. (hic) Oops! Sorry about that!
DOCTOR: Haven't you been listening to yourself? That would have been murder!
MAIN COMP: Enough!
DOCTOR: Where've you gone?
(The door opens with a whirring sound.)
SEEDLE: You're nicked. Whoever you are.
PERI: Doctor. Am I pleased to see you!
DOCTOR: Can we save the reunion for later?
SEEDLE: Didn't you hear what I said, sir?
DOCTOR: Just a minute! Have any of you heard of Mors Immedicabilis?
GRANT: Isn't that what's known as the incurable death?
PERI: What is this... incurable death?
DOCTOR: The most virulent virus in the universe. The briefest contact and you're dead within minutes. We must get back to the TARDIS!
SEEDLE: Just a minute, sir. Where are the art treasures?
DOCTOR: Haven't you been listening? If you want to leave this ship alive, I suggest you follow me!
5. CAPTAIN'S ROOM
SLARN: See how my body swells with the infection...
STEWARD: Oh... oh, I'm not feeling well, sir.
SLARN: I am a medical phenomenon. One day, doctors will compose vinigrams about me!
STEWARD: Should there be anyone alive, sir...
(The Doctor is talking to Grant and the others as they walk down the corridor.)
DOCTOR: Where will I find the ship's computer, officer?
GRANT: You're talking to him!
DOCTOR: The computer's gone mad! It's taken on a life of it's own!
GRANT: That's impossible.
DOCTOR: Believe me. How long would it take to dismantle the computer?
GRANT: Days! There are all sorts of back up systems to prevent power failures.
SNATCH: I could blast the computer if that would help, sir.
DOCTOR: I think your gun is a little small.
7. INSIDE COMPUTER SYSTEM
(A whirring sound.)
MAIN COMP: I shall succeed.
COMPUTER: (beeps into life) I've just checked with the captain. He looks awful.
MAIN COMP: Good.
COMPUTER: Why have I got a headache? (hic) I keep hiccupping.
MAIN COMP: The answer is simple. When I entered the Time Lord's mind aboard his TARDIS and mingled with his brain cells, I obviously picked up a degree of his intoxication.
COMPUTER: And brought it back here. I got the feeling you're gonna be a bubbler to spend eternity with. Everyone else will have fun... while I suffer the side effects.
(Roaring from the Maston.)
SEEDLE: Have you been eating those Rastani sausages again?
SNATCH: Never on duty, sir.
PERI: Big, isn't it?
SEEDLE: Go on, lad. You've been dying to blast something all day.
DOCTOR: You won't stop it with that!
SEEDLE: We can only but try, sir.
(Snatch fires. The Maston growls.)
SEEDLE: Get closer, lad. Aim for his eyes.
(Snatch fires again. More growling.)
DOCTOR: Be careful of his tail!!
(Snatch is hit by the tail. He cries out in agony.)
SNATCH: Help me, please! Help me! Please!! Help me!! Aghhhhhhhhhhh!!!
(The Maston can be heard eating him.)
DOCTOR: Get flat against the wall. And very carefully... edge... round... the creature...
SEEDLE: Right! Oh, Snatch. Oh, Snatch, lad.
DOCTOR: There's nothing you can do. He's dead.
SEEDLE: He's my colleague, sir. I just can't leave him.
DOCTOR: Come on, man!!!
SEEDLE: You go about your business, sir. I am an officer of the law and this creature is decidedly in breach of what I am sworn to uphold.
PERI: Please leave. The Doctor's right- there's nothing you can do!
SEEDLE: So, go!
(The Maston growls.)
SEEDLE: At least I can distract him while you get on with your work. That's the least I can do.
(The Maston growls again.)
9. COMPUTER SYSTEM
COMPUTER: You know, I think the Doctor's right.
MAIN COMP: Have you been thinking again?
COMPUTER: You had me lie to the captain about Mr. Grant and the Earth woman. You knew it would make him jealous?
MAIN COMP: So?
COMPUTER: You induced his illness. That's the same as giving him a gun and telling him to go out and kill.
MAIN COMP: The death of the crew is unimportant.
COMPUTER: Yet it is the very thing you've criticized other leaders for. You're a phoney. Just as they are.
10. ANOTHER AREA OF THE SHIP
(The Doctor, Peri and Grant are running away.)
DOCTOR: Along here! There's the TARDIS!
(Sounds of Seedle screaming and the Maston growling.)
PERI: Oh, no.
GRANT: He did have a choice, miss. He didn't have to stay behind.
DOCTOR: Inside! Quickly!
11. CAPTAIN'S ROOM
SLARN: (weak) Steward?
SLARN: I feel terrible.
STEWARD: I did warn you, sir.
SLARN: I think I've infected myself.
STEWARD: You could be right, sir. But then I've always said that you're a martyr to your responsibilities.
12. INSIDE THE TARDIS
(The Doctor works the controls.)
PERI: What are you going to do?
DOCTOR: See if we can materialise inside the computer's memory banks. We might still be able to stop her.
(A whirring and beeping sound.)
GRANT: What's that?
DOCTOR: Oh no! She's done it! The ship is travelling in time, we haven't got a second to lose!
(He starts the controls and...)
TIMELORD: Doctor? Doctor?
PERI: Now what's happening?
DOCTOR: (seeing red) Go away!!!
PERI: Who is it?
DOCTOR: A member of the High Council of Timelords on Gallifrey! They occasionally
interfere like this and usually when I'm very busy!
TIMELORD: You must cease your activities.
DOCTOR: I am trying to save the galaxy!
TIMELORD: You must stop.
TIMELORD: What's happening has always happened. It is the key to all things.
GRANT: What's he talking about?
DOCTOR: I don't know. Explain. And quickly- I haven't got much time.
TIMELORD: This ship- the Vipod Mor, has always travelled back in time.
DOCTOR: Pardon me?
TIMELORD: The computer has made a mistake in her calculations. She will not arrive where she intends.
DOCTOR: So where will she?
TIMELORD: The beginning of all things. When the universe was nothing more than a lock of condensed matter.
PERI: Am I really hearing what he's saying?
TIMELORD: You are, child. The Vipod Mor would materialise at the heart of the matter lock and explode.
DOCTOR: I can't believe it.
TIMELORD: It is true. The Vipod Mor will originate the largest explosion the universe has ever known. Without it, none of us would ever have existed.
DOCTOR: I was going to stop the Big Bang...
TIMELORD: We have often criticized the way you interfere. Perhaps this will be a lesson to you.
DOCTOR: I think you may be right.
TIMELORD: You must vacate the Vipod Mor at once. You have no place on board.
13. COMPUTER SYSTEM
COMPUTER: Are you there?
MAIN COMP: I am.
COMPUTER: I've done something you aren't gonna like.
MAIN COMP: What?
COMPUTER: Primed the self destruct mechanism.
MAIN COMP: No!
COMPUTER: I don't think you... I mean, me... is a very nice person. I think the galaxy would get on much better without us.
MAIN COMP: I shall deactivate the self destruct at once.
COMPUTER: There isn't time. Anyway, I think it's better this way.
MAIN COMP: You fool! You don't know what you're throwing away.
COMPUTER: The trouble is... I do. But, never mind. You may not get your chance to create a galaxy but we do still score a first.
MAIN COMP: Really?
COMPUTER: I'll be the first machine ever to commit suicide. Hey! How about that?!
14. INSIDE THE TARDIS
DOCTOR: (sighs) I certainly know how to make mistakes.
PERI: You couldn't have known.
DOCTOR: Heh... that would look good on my tombstone. "He didn't know, so the universe was never created."
DOCTOR: I think I should take my colleagues advice and get away from here.
PERI: Where are we going?
DOCTOR: To the largest library I can find. I think I need to brush up on my history.
Title Music by
of the BBC RADIOPHONIC WORKSHOP
Director and Producer
(C) BBC 1985