TIME AND THE RANI
PIP AND JANE BAKER
1. EXT. LAKERTYAN SURFACE
(Running at speed, Mel fails to notice the tripwire at her feet. She trips, triggering an explosion, and a bubble of energy forms
around her. She lets out a terrified scream. The bubble starts to ascend into the sky. It rises up and over a cliff face. As it makes
its descent, it catches the side of the rock face causing an explosion. This causes the bubble to spin further downwards. Mel screams
helplessly as the bubble spins to her to her possible death. Luckily for Mel the bubble falls on to the lake and the detonator on the
base of it doesn't hit the water. The bubble surfs along the surface of the water until it hits a rock and nestles at the waters edge.
Ikona, who has been following her progress, comes to her rescue. Mel continues to scream in the bubble as he comes to kneel by it. Ikona
attempts to remove the explosive detonator from the base of the bubble.)
MEL: Help! Help me!
IKONA: Be quiet and don't move.
MEL: Have you... have you done this before?
IKONA: No, this is the first time, but Mel, if you don't stop squawking, it'll be the last.
2. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY
(The Doctor is working on the pyramid machine and causes an explosion. He chokes on the fumes and moves away to get some clean
air. He groans. The Rani, still in her guise as Mel, moves to look at his handiwork.)
DOCTOR: You know I can't help feeling sorry for the Rani, Mel, getting caught in her own devious trap.
RANI/MEL: She's got nobody to blame but herself.
DOCTOR: I suppose so. But what was she doing prowling around on Lakertya?
RANI/MEL: I'd have thought the reason was obvious.
DOCTOR: Is it?
RANI/MEL: She must be on the brink of a major discovery.
DOCTOR: Must be a cosmic breakthrough for a neurochemist of her stature to come storming the barricades.
(The Rani pulls on the Doctor's arm leading him back over to the machine.)
RANI/MEL: All the more reason to press on, get there first. You've repeatedly said that, in the wrong hands, scientific knowledge
can be dangerous.
DOCTOR: What scientific knowledge? What am I doing? If only I could remember.
RANI/RANI: Oh, don't start all that again. Look, repair the machine and maybe we'll find the solution.
DOCTOR: The machine won't tell me what's behind that locked door, will it? The machine won't restore my memory, will it? If the
Rani was after our experiment, we must be playing with fire.
RANI/MEL: Oh forget the Rani. She's finished. Destroyed!
DOCTOR: Is she? Oh don't underestimate her. She's a brilliant but sterile mind. There's not one spark of decency in her.
RANI/MEL: (to herself) I'm overwhelmed.
DOCTOR: You are?
RANI/MEL: Such superior diagnostic talents.
DOCTOR: It's my forte.
RANI/MEL: Then it's a pity they can't be concentrated on the machine.
(In frustration she pushes the Doctor against the machine, causing him to hit his nose.)
3. EXT. LAKERTYAN SURFACE
(Ikona continues his efforts to remove the explosive detonator from the base of the bubble. He twists and turns it as Mel looks
on anxiously. Finally it comes out of its housing and the bubble dissolves. Mel leaps from her place and hugs Ikona. Ikona hurls the
explosive's detonator into the water. It hits the surface of the water and explodes, tossing tons of water into the air, almost spraying
the relieved couple. They move away. They are unaware that the Tetrap Leader, Urak, is watching them from a concealed position on the
cliff face above them.)
4. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY
(The Rani is at the central control desk, viewing the progress of the asteroid composed of strange matter. The Doctor is at work
on the machine.)
DOCTOR: And another thing, why was the Rani dressed like you, Mel?
RANI/MEL: Perhaps she's fashion conscious?
DOCTOR: No, she was in disguise. Practising another one of her talents.
(The Rani moves over to join the Doctor.)
RANI/MEL: Really? Are you going to be much longer in there, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Afraid so. More hasta less vista.
(The Rani looks annoyed as he busies himself at the broken machine.)
5. INT. RANI'S CITADEL. THE TETRAP EYRIE
(The Lakertyan Leader, Beyus, opens the grill and ventures down into the eyrie. He hears the Tetrap growls from within the darkened
lair. He pulls a metal chain and the Tetrap food is released and slides down a slope into the large container. A Tetrap soon appears,
forcing Beyus to make a hasty retreat out of the eyrie.)
6. EXT. LAKERTYAN SURFACE
(Ikona and Mel make their way cautiously amongst the rocky landscape, all the time on the lookout for danger.)
MEL: Any sign of the... what did you call it?
IKONA: Tetraps. No. Keep moving.
MEL: Look, look, I'm grateful for your help, but gratitude isn't going to turn me into a puppet.
IKONA: I've already come to that painful conclusion.
MEL: Well then, tell me, are we just running scared or are we heading for somewhere in particular?
IKONA: The answer to both questions is yes. Now can we go?
(He runs along further and stops with Mel at an incline that leads up to a gap in the cliff face. He indicates up to the gap.
Leaving Mel alone, he makes his way up the steep, rocky incline and into the gap. The gap is being used as a hiding place for Lakertyan
fireworks which resemble weapons. Mel remains down in the valley nervously awaiting his return.)
MEL: Hurry, Ikona! Hurry!
(Suddenly, Urak jumps from hiding. She screams with fear. He has four eyes, is covered in fur, and has a fat stomach
and wings. Ikona activates one of the fireworks and the sprinkler effect is released. The glittery sprinkles fall into the face of Urak,
distracting him from Mel. Ikona runs down to join Mel and pulls her away. They depart with haste together.)
7. INT. RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY
(The Doctor uses a small device to read some emissions. They obviously cause him some distress.)
DOCTOR: I cannot understand how I could have made such a fundamental mistake.
(The Doctor tries to force the burnt-out plate from the shelf in the machine. He has trouble but the Rani helps him.)
RANI/MEL: Let me.
(The plate comes free with her assistance. She holds it up to examine it in the light.)
RANI/MEL: What was the mistake?
DOCTOR: The heat radiation from the catalyst was of high frequency.
RANI/MEL: You mean I... you used the wrong heat conducting material.
DOCTOR: So elementary. I broke the second law of thermodynamics.
RANI/MEL: So if we substituted a suitable material, would it work?
DOCTOR: You should know the answer to that, Mel. Didn't C. P. Snow expound on Thermodynamics?
RANI/MEL: Doctor, is this relevant?
DOCTOR: Well you said you admired all his writings, read all his books.
RANI/MEL: Did I? Oh, I must have forgotten.
DOCTOR: You, Mel, forget? (He laughs) A kangaroo never forgets.
DOCTOR: Oh, yes. Memory like an elephant. A running gag applied to you I feel sure, Mel.
RANI/MEL: Perhaps the machine exploding affected my memory as well. Doctor, what were the readings?
DOCTOR: Oh here, see for yourself.
(He passes the small device over to her and then moves over to the sealed door at the back of the room. He mounts the stairs and
rests at the top. He places his makeshift stethoscope against the door to listen to the inside. The Rani enters the readings into the
8. EXT. LAKERTYAN SURFACE / CITADEL ENTRANCE
(Mel and Ikona squat behind a rock to spy on the entrance to the Citadel where a Tetrap stands on guard.)
IKONA: That's where they set up headquarters.
MEL: Well then, that's where the Doctor must be.
IKONA: You can't be sure.
MEL: I can. You don't know the Doctor.
IKONA: If he's in there, I probably never will.
MEL: There's no "Ifs" about it, he's in there.
(Mel looks up at the cliff where the rocket launcher has been built.)
MEL: Any idea what the central ramp's for?
IKONA: No. All I know is that building it cost the lives of many Lakertyans.
MEL: Something must have gone terribly wrong.
IKONA: The logic of that escapes me.
MEL: Well they kidnapped the Doctor, and no one would do that unless they were desperate for his help. He's not exactly predictable.
IKONA: Come on.
(They depart away from the area.)
9. INT. RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY
(The computer screen displays some options for the problem with Rani's machine.)
RANI/MEL: Would PHB or PES do?
(In frustration she goes over to join him at the door to the sealed chamber.)
RANI/MEL: I asked you a question!
DOCTOR: Did you? Mel, there's something caged in there.
RANI/MEL: Yes, I dare say. Would PHB or PES do?
RANI/MEL: As a suitable material for the machine.
(She leads the Doctor back over to the central control desk.)
DOCTOR: Oh, yes. PHB. It's biodegradable. We don't want to litter Lakertya with non-destructible waste like they're doing
on your planet, Mel.
(He opens up a drawer in the desk and starts to rummage around.)
RANI/MEL: What are you looking for?
DOCTOR: Sugar and starch, we can ferment our own.
(She irritably slams the drawer closed, nearly trapping his fingers.)
RANI/MEL: Well you won't find it there. What about the alternative?
DOCTOR: PES? Oh not so good. It's a petroleum based plastic.
RANI/MEL: Slightly amber, almost opaque.
RANI/MEL: I know where we can get some.
RANI/MEL: From the Lakertyans. You repair the machine, I'll go and get it.
(The Rani moves off to the left laboratory exit whilst the Doctor remains perplexed by the desk.)
DOCTOR: But I thought you said the Lakertyans weren't very advanced.
RANI/MEL: Did I?
(The Rani closes the door as he walks towards it. Once there he turns to see the other exit door closing, shutting him
DOCTOR: After we found that poor skeleton.
10. EXT. LAKERTYAN SURFACE
(Faroon, the wife of captured leader Beyus, makes her way through the rocky landscape towards the Rani's Citadel. She is coming
near to the remains of her daughter, Sarn. Up on the path ahead of her, Ikona and Mel appear.)
IKONA: Wait here.
(Ikona gestures for Mel to remain out of sight whilst he goes down to join Faroon.)
(They exchange the Lakertyan greeting of pressing their palms against one another.)
FAROON: I'm glad to see you, Ikona, although I shouldn't be.
IKONA: Does sitting on opposite sides of the fence mean we can't still be friends?
FAROON: I'm afraid it does when you cut yourself off from the rest of us and deliberately ignore Beyus' instructions.
IKONA: I can't accept he's right to collaborate.
FAROON: He is being held hostage. He has no choice. It's the only way that Beyus can save the rest of us from destruction.
(She moves up the slope in the direction of Mel. Ikona is wary to keep her attention away from Sarn's skeletal remains. Mel appears
from her hiding place, startling Faroon.)
MEL: Well, he didn't save her, did he?
IKONA: It's alright, Faroon, she's not with the Tetraps.
FAROON: You said "her"?
MEL: Yes. Well she was running away from something.
FAROON: You saw what happened too Ikona? (Silence) You're not usually so reluctant to air your thoughts. (To Mel)
From which direction did she come?
MEL: Well, along there. It was as though she was escaping from the Tetrap headquarters.
IKONA: It was Sarn.
(Faroon turns as the truth finally hits her. She makes her way down to the bones of her daughter, a tear running down her cheek.)
MEL: Who was Sarn?
IKONA: The daughter of Beyus and Faroon.
(Mel goes down the slope to join Faroon with Ikona following.)
MEL: I'm sorry. I didn't realise.
FAROON: I had to be told.
IKONA: There was nothing that could be done. She stepped on a trap.
FAROON: Yet another victim. I must go to Beyus.
(She walks slowly away. Mel turns to follow her.)
IKONA: Where are you going?
MEL: If Beyus is collaborating then he must be in the Tetrap headquarters and that's where the Doctor will be.
(She moves off and he loyally follows her.)
11. EXT. RANI'S CITADEL
(The Rani strides forth from the elaborate entrance making her way towards her TARDIS.)
12. INT. RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY
(The Doctor is trying out numerous codes on the door control in order to follow the Rani/Mel. Failing to succeed, he moves over
to the machine. Picking up the spoon-like equipment he used earlier, he proceeds to play them.)
13. EXT. THE RANI'S CITADEL
(Faroon makes her way towards the entrance which is guarded by a Tetrap. Mel and Ikona follow at a cautious distance. They crouch
by some rocks to observe her and the Tetrap.)
IKONA: You're still determined to get in?
MEL: No matter what the risk.
IKONA: Madness. It must be contagious. I'll draw him off.
(As Ikona runs off amongst the rocks, the Tetrap on guard (Urak) spots him and makes off in pursuit. Mel is free to make her way
inside the Citadel. The Tetrap runs amongst the rocks, desperate to find Ikona, but the first person he sees has long curly red hair and
is wearing a pink and white exercise outfit. The Tetrap activates his weapon. A stun net is released and falls on the victim, stunning
her. Urak runs over to his quarry.)
14. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY
(The right-hand side door to the Laboratory opens and Mel enters. The Doctor is working on the machine. Hearing a sound, she moves
over towards him.)
MEL: Who are you?
(He sees her and instantly believes her to be the Rani. He advances towards her and she backs off.)
DOCTOR: You! Where's Mel?
MEL: Where's the Doctor?
DOCTOR: What have you done with her?
MEL: Stay away from me. What have you done with the Doctor?
(She grabs him by the arm and spins him off his feet and on to the floor. She restrains him by holding his arm behind his
MEL: Now we'll get to the truth. What have you done with him you brute?
DOCTOR: He's here!
MEL: Where? Under the carpet?
DOCTOR: Me, you washer woman! Me!
MEL: Never! You're nothing like him. If the Doctor's been harmed...
(The Doctor breaks her hold and jumps up, grabs hold of her, and slings her up over his shoulders, spinning her round in the
MEL: Help! Put me down!
(He continues to spin her until finally he returns her to the floor, leaving her rather dizzy.)
DOCTOR: Drop the melodramatics. Your pathetic impersonation doesn't fool me at all. Incidentally that wigs not you.
(Whilst she is still dazed, he makes a grab for her hair. Mel cries in pain.)
15. EXT. LAKERTYAN SURFACE
(Urak removes the stun net from the Rani. She sits up, affected by the net, and starts to adjust her Mel wig.)
URAK: I am sorry, Mistress. I have not seen you dressed in these clothes before.
(Regaining her composure, she jumps up and moves stubbornly off.)
RANI/MEL: Inquests bore me!
(Urak lurks off after her.)
16. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY
(Mel escapes from the Doctor's grip on her hair and runs around the side of the laboratory, protecting herself on the opposite side
of the control desk. They each run around the outside of the control desk – always trying to maintain an equal distance between themselves.)
DOCTOR: I knew you weren't finished, Rani. I told Mel as much.
MEL: You told me?
DOCTOR: No, Mel!
MEL: I am Mel. Who's the Rani?
DOCTOR: Try looking in the mirror at the face of evil.
MEL: I've had enough of this drivel.
DOCTOR: Alright, compromise. Let me feel your pulse.
MEL: Don't touch me!
DOCTOR: Ah the proof of the pumpkin's in the squeezing.
MEL: You don't even talk like the Doctor, you miserable fraud.
DOCTOR: Let me feel your pulse. Or pulses, I should say. Two of them. One for each heart.
MEL: You're a raving lunatic.
DOCTOR: Yes, perhaps I am, because if you're the Rani, I'm dicing with destruction.
MEL: And if I'm Mel?
(They stop moving around the control desk.)
DOCTOR: Mel? The worst she'll do is give me carrot juice. (Pauses) Carrot juice? What made me think of that?
MEL: Well perhaps the real Doctor told you. It was his favourite drink.
DOCTOR: Favourite? I hate it!
DOCTOR: Ah, caught you out haven't I!
MEL: But if you're the real Doctor then, why d'you look like that?
DOCTOR: I've regenerated and I'm suffering from post-regenerative amnesia, as far as I can remember. Fair exchange is no mockery.
You feel my pulses, I'll feel yours. I'll lean across here with my arm behind my back if you want proof I'm a Time Lord. Come on.
(He leans across the control desk as he said he would and she cautiously moves in to inspect his wrist.)
MEL: A double pulse! Then you really are the Doctor.
DOCTOR: That's what I've been trying to tell you. Now yours.
(She looks in amazement at him. He checks her wrists for a double pulse.)
MEL: I know about regeneration, of course.
(He finds only a single pulse.)
(Feeling at rest with one another, she moves around to join him.)
MEL: But you're completely different. Nothing like you were. Face. Height. Hair. Everything's changed.
DOCTOR: Yes. And I've become more of a fool too, it seems, Mel. Doesn't bode well for my Seventh Persona being so completely
taken in by the wretched Rani.
MEL: The Rani? Is that who hijacked the TARDIS?
DOCTOR: (Nods) But what does she want with me?
17. EXT. THE LAKERTYAN LANDSCAPE
(The Rani and Urak walk up to the Rani's TARDIS which resembles a small pyramid – its surface is partially mirrored. Seeing
that he is following her, she turns.)
RANI/MEL: Where d'you think you're going?
URAK: With you, Mistress.
RANI/MEL: I told you not to enter my TARDIS without permission. Now stay here.
(She enters her TARDIS whilst Urak remains outside.)
18. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY
(The Doctor and Mel are standing at the control desk watching the viewing screen as it shows the strange matter asteroid.)
DOCTOR: Strange Matter!
MEL: Never heard of it.
DOCTOR: You should have, Mel. A Princeton physicist discovered it on your earth in the year 1984.
MEL: Computers are my speciality, not Nuclear Physics.
DOCTOR: It's an incredibly dense form of matter. A lump the size of this would weigh more than your planet Earth.
MEL: Well what could the Rani's interest be?
DOCTOR: An astute question. If that asteroid exploded, it would send off a blast of gamma rays equivalent to a supernova.
MEL: Then it would be goodbye Lakertya.
(He turns off the monitor screen. And leads Mel to the back of the lab.)
DOCTOR: And everything else in this corner of the galaxy. When the Rani dabbles, she dabbles on a grand scale.
(He gives Mel the stethoscope and points up the stairs to the locked door.)
DOCTOR: Here. Go and listen.
(Mel ascends the stairs and places the stethoscope against the door.)
MEL: It's weird. It's like a giant heartbeat.
DOCTOR: Yes. But why, Mel? Why? What is she up to?
(He ponders the Laboratory and his attention is drawn to the left side door.)
DOCTOR: It starts here.
(He moves to the door and Mel joins him.)
MEL: Oh forget it, Doctor. Let's hightail it back to the TARDIS and get out of here.
DOCTOR: And leave the Lakertyans to the machinations of the Rani. Impossible! Given time I'll work out the combination.
19. INT. RANI'S CITADEL. THE ARCADE
(Beyus and Faroon overhear the Doctor's words through the door.)
20. INT. RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY
DOCTOR: Did you hear a voice or am I hallucinating?
BEYUS: (from behind the door) 953.
MEL: Well go on, quick. 953.
DOCTOR: Who'd have thought she'd have been so obvious. That's my age. And the Rani's.
(He taps in the code on the door control and the door slides upwards revealing Beyus and Faroon on the other side. The Doctor
gestures Mel to go through.)
21. INT. THE RANI'S TARDIS
(The Rani produces a jagged orange sheet of opaque PES plastic from a cupboard. She moves with it into the centre of the room.
Using a laser, she cuts the plastic into the right shape for the machine. She then moves off.)
22. EXT. LAKERTYAN SURFACE
(The Rani exits her TARDIS with the plastic where Urak is waiting on guard.)
RANI/MEL: The girl's on the loose. Find her before she finds the Doctor.
URAK: Yes, Mistress.
23. INT. RANI'S CITADEL. THE ARCADE
(Mel and the Doctor are examining the cabinets in the arcade that contain various geniuses. Beyus and Faroon watch them.)
MEL: Hypatia. (Moves to the next cabinet) Einstein!
BEYUS: Names which are meaningless to us.
DOCTOR: Geniuses every one of them. The Rani's collected together the most creative minds and the most powerful matter in the
FAROON: She's a murderess. Sarn was not her first victim, there have been many.
DOCTOR: The scope of her imagination is breathtaking.
BEYUS: You sound as though you admire her.
DOCTOR: Not admiration. Fascination. And sadness. If only the Rani could have redirected her incredible talents for good.
(Mel wanders along to look at a further cabinet. It is empty but she sees the Doctor's name written on the label.)
MEL: The fascination's mutual. She's reserved this one for you.
(The Doctor goes over to see for himself.)
24. EXT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE ENTRANCE
(The Rani makes her way back inside carrying the sheet of plastic bound for the machine.)
25. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE ARCADE / THE LABORATORY
(The Doctor, Mel, Beyus and Faroon stand around the Doctor's cabinet.)
DOCTOR: What is it that I can contribute that these other geniuses can't?
MEL: You're a Timelord.
DOCTOR: With a unique conceptual understanding of the properties of time.
(The Doctor rushes back in to the laboratory. He follows the line of information given by the machinery that leads to the sealed
door at the rear of the room. Mel and Beyus watch him whilst Faroon remains in the Arcade.)
DOCTOR: Do you know what's behind that door?
BEYUS: I've never been permitted to see.
DOCTOR: Pity. Beyus? Why have you... assisted?
BEYUS: Collaborated is the word that you are avoiding, Doctor. I've no choice.
(The Doctor activates the desk screen but is distracted as Faroon rushes into the laboratory and closes the door behind her.)
FAROON: She's coming!
DOCTOR: Take Mel!
FAROON: I'll take her with me.
MEL: But Doctor, you can't stay.
DOCTOR: Go, Mel! Go!
(Beyus, Faroon and Mel hastily exit the laboratory via the right side door. The Doctor returns to the machine. The Rani enters
the laboratory via the left side door. She goes to the desk and notices that the monitor screen has been left on by the Doctor. She
turns it off and goes to join the Doctor.)
DOCTOR: Oh yes, yes. Let me see.
Polyethersulphone. Excellent. How clever you are, Mel. Where did you find
RANI/MEL: In the store room. Doctor, why was the monitor on?
DOCTOR: On, is it? Oh yes. I was trying to jog my memory. No luck though. Hold the other end, Mel.
(Together they both try to position the plastic sheet into the machine.)
26. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. CORRIDOR
(Beyus cautiously leads Mel and Faroon out of the Citadel. He gestures them away and remains alone.)
27. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY
(The Doctor and the Rani (still dressed a Mel) are positioning the plastic sheet inside the machine.)
DOCTOR: You're not concentrating, Mel. Hold it steady. We've got to manoeuvre it into position.
(It's finally in position in the machine.)
RANI/MEL: Quite adept at manoeuvring, aren't you, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Well, where there's a will, there's a Tom, Dick and Harriet.
(They both move to the centre of the room.)
RANI/MEL: Do I take it the machine is now operational?
DOCTOR: Oh no, no. There's certain information I simply must have before I make the final delicate adjustments.
RANI/MEL: Such as?
DOCTOR: (gesturing to the rear of the Lab) Ideally what's behind that door?
RANI/MEL: Less ideally?
DOCTOR: (He fingers liquid atop one of the pyramid-shaped machines) The identity of this rather interesting substance.
RANI/MEL: The information's essential, is it?
RANI/MEL: So if I told you its chemical composition. I could do that.
DOCTOR: No stop!
(She leans over to the control desk and presses a button. The lights in the room dim and start to pulsate and the machines whirl
and pump into action. The Doctor looks uneasy.)
RANI/MEL: You know, don't you?
(With little hesitation, the Rani pulls off her wig of red curls to reveal her own long brunette hair. She starts to unpin it.)
RANI: But your usefulness is not yet over. You have another role to play.
(To distract her, the Doctor gestures to the right door. She looks and he ties his scarf around her and pushes her down on to
the control desk.)
RANI: Dratted man.
(He then runs from the laboratory.)
28. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE ARCADE
(Beyus is attending to the cabinet controls as the Doctor rushes past. The Doctor opens the grill to descend into the Tetrap Eyrie.
The Rani, having released herself from the scarf, runs into the Arcade and pushes Beyus aside. She enters the Eyrie.)
29. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. TETRAP EYRIE
(The Rani descends the stairs into the eyrie and, peering into the darkness, she sees the Tetraps hanging asleep from the rocky
ceiling but fails to see the Doctor. He is hiding behind a rock. Giving up, she leaves the eyrie and closes the grill behind her. The
Doctor ventures out from his hiding place and looks around for another exit. Before he can look further, a group of awakened Tetraps
encircle him, their forked tongues ready to pierce the Doctor with venom...)
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