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of a Time Lord
by Robert Holmes
It is there, ahead.
In an unending night, it slumbers.
It is a vast structure, dark in color, circular in form, ancient, modern,
Its center is a tower that scrapes even the infinite starscape sky above.
It is waiting.
Its height is dizzying, and the stars wheel. The complex ring of technology
passes below, steadily at first, then slowing, then steadily again. . ..
In the place where there is no sound, yet sound is heard, for it transcends
the space and splits the time. . . .
In a brief flash of moment, a motor seems to turn. . .
In a searing flash of light, a corridor is born, like a searchlight,
scanning the universe around in nothing like a few seconds with nothing
like sheer pulsing power. . .
In the corridor, something not at all like a police telephone box falls,
as though both drawn and pushed.
It falls into the structure, ancient dimensions groaning in a cacophony of
It arrives there.
The TARDIS materializes in the column of white light inside what appears
to be an annex to a much larger interior, that suggestion being given by
the stairway and large golden doors above it that greet the Doctor as he
stumbles out of the TARDIS.
He steps out bewildered and shaking his head. He looks up and gets his
bearing, then sets off slowly up the stairs and to the doors. . .
"At last, Doctor."
A strong male voice greets the Doctor from inside a large room in near
darkness. The strength of the voice is the type that is made of intelligence,
rather than lungs, air, and diaphragm.
The Doctor stands in a small pool of dim light near the doors which close
"Am I late for something?" the Doctor asks the cowled figure sitting opposite
him on a kind of raised platform.
"I was beginning to fear you had lost yourself," says the man enigmatically,
adding, "Sit down."
The Doctor looks to his right and sees a seat on a similar raised platform
with ceremonial bars around it at chest height. He steps from the stairs
to this chair, and the man across the room touches a control with a black
gloved hand that keys a white spotlight from above the Doctor, lighting
the blond-haired Doctor in a kind of halo whilst the other man's seat in
darkness becomes even more pronounced.
"Even I would find it hard to lose myself in a corridor," answers the now
comfortably seated Doctor, "especially when propelled by the mental energy
of so many distinguished Time Lords!" He swivels his chair to his left
and cheerfully waves at a gallery of perhaps fifteen or twenty people
dressed in the ceremonial robes of the Time Lords of Gallifrey, with the
gallery stacked on three levels above a lone, unoccupied, central chair
below on the same level as the Doctor and the man in darkness.
"Oh, I don't know," responds the grey-faced, black cowled man, "You seem
to have a great talent for straying from the straight and narrow."
Suddenly the room is brightened to a more customary level, and all in
the room rise as two Chancellery guards, a woman in white robes with a
red sash, a man in purple, and two other guards enter the room from
a second pair of double golden doors opposite those the Doctor used.
The Doctor rises too, then sits back as though he was only shifting his
position in the chair.
The man in purple takes a seat just ahead of the doors he's just entered,
while all attention in the room is centered on the woman in white, who
approaches the lone chair ahead of the gallery.
The Doctor asks if it would be too much to ask what all this about, and
the woman rebukes, "The accused will remain silent until invited to speak,"
before taking her own seat. The rest of the attendees do likewise.
"The accused?" asks the Doctor, "Do you mean me?"
The woman looks at the Doctor for a moment, and then turns to the man with
the dark cowl, who we can now see is wearing similarly black robes, and a
shoulder piece of black and a bluish silver that match his eyes.
"I call upon the Valeyard to open the case," she says.
The man addressed as Valeyard begins.
"By order of the High Council, this is an impartial inquiry
into the behavior of the accused person, known as the Doctor,
who is charged, that he on diverse occasions has been guilty
of Conduct Unbecoming a Time Lord."
"Not guilty!" shouts the Doctor, leaping to his feet.
"He is also charged with," continues the Valeyard,"on diverse
occasions, transgressing the First Law."
He turns to the woman and says, "It is my unpleasant task, Madam Inquisitor,
to prove to the Inquiry that the Doctor is an incorrigible meddler in the
affairs of other peoples and planets."
The Inquisitor consults a paper book in front of her and notes aloud that she
sees it is on record that the Doctor has already once faced trial for offenses
of this nature.
The Valeyard agrees that this is so, and contends that the High Council showed
too great a leniency on that occasion.
The Inquisitor turns her chair to face the Doctor, whom she asks if he has
anything to say before the Inquiry proceeds.
The Doctor gestures around himself and declares that the whole thing is a farce
as he is Lord President of Gallifrey, and as such, he cannot be put on trial.
He turns and begins to actually leave the room, until the Inquisitor informs
him that as he neglected the responsibility of his great office, he was deposed.
The Doctor is a little hurt by this, and then turns to the gallery members,
asking if that's legal. The Inquisitor answers that is is, but that they
won't hold it against him, and in fact it'll probably help him, and also
to see that his interests are fully protected, she is appointing a Court
Defender to represent the Doctor.
The Doctor returns to his seat and thanks the Inquisitor, but politely
refuses to have a defender assigned to him as he thinks it will be easier
if he speaks for himself, having been through several such inquiries before.
The Inquisitor notes this aloud for the record (which the man in purple
seems to be keeping) and also makes a note in her own book with a long, golden
pen. She looks up and tells the Valeyard to proceed.
"Inquisitor," he says, "I will not waste the time of the Court by dwelling
in detail on the activities of the accused. . . ."
". . Good," interrupts the Doctor.
". . . I intend to adumbrate two typical instances from seperate epistopic
interfaces of the spectrum. These examples of the criminal behavior of the
accused are fully recorded in the Matrix, the repository of all knowledge."
He and the rest of the Court turn to view a large dull grey screen above
the gallery on which a picture comes up showing a small blue-green planet
partly covered by land, mostly by oceans, and with many white clouds.
"I should like to begin," continues the Valeyard, "with the Doctor's
involvement in the affairs of Ravolox, a planet within the Stellian Galaxy."
Prosecution Interface One "The Mysterious Planet"
The Doctor and Peri are walking downhill in a very wet forest, being rained
on but shielded by the Doctor's multicolored umbrella which only begins to
reflect the colors of his coat. By some miracle of fashion, his pants
actually go along with the yellow and black-striped coat that Peri wears
over a blouse underneath and her silver colored pants.
Peri tells the Doctor she doesn't really like Ravolox very much, as its
turning out to remind her of a wet November back on Earth.
The Doctor tells her this is part of the reason why they are there, as
Ravolox has the same mass, angle of tilt, and period of rotation as Earth.
He illustrates the rotation with the umbrella, getting Peri wet in the
process. She pulls it closer and yawns openly as the Doctor tells her
what a phenomenon this is. She remarks its a pity it isn't a dry phenomenon.
The Doctor also tells her that Ravolox has the distinction of having been
destroyed by a solar fireball. Peri looks around at the lush autumn
forest around them and says she doesn't think it looks very destroyed.
The Doctor says that the records on Gallifrey said that Ravolox had been
destroyed by a solar fireball some five centuries ago, but he now is
beginning to think someone exaggerated. Peri agrees as they continue down
Although the sky is still cloudy, the rain stops, and the Doctor breathes in
the fresh air with a smile.
"The exhilerating smell of a freshly laundered forest," he declares for all
to hear, "You can't beat it."
"And the twittering of tiny birds," continues Peri, imitating his baritone,
"and the rustly of small mammals as they forage for food in the undergrowth!"
"Exactly," adds the Doctor with a grin.
Peri remarks he must have better hearing than her then as there aren't any
birds to be heard. The Doctor says out loud he wondered when she'd notice.
Peri tells him none of this makes any sense actually, as the soil should
be sterile after the visitation of a fireball.
The Doctor pats her on the head and congratulates her. "Well done."
Peri tells him not to patronize her, and tells him she knows he knew from
the start that the amount of growth they're seeing wasn't possible.
The Doctor tells her that he knew that as a student of botany, she would
be able to figure it out without any prompting from him.
"Maybe," she smiles. "Is there any intelligent life here?"
"Apart from me you mean?" he asks with a grin. She returns the grin as
he tells her he doesn't know and they should find out. They walk arm in
arm down the hillside further.
Up the hill some distance, two men observe them, one short and stout and
middle-aged, the other tall, lean, and young. Each speak in a variation
of a Cockney accent.
"They're not from around here Mister Glitz," says the tall man.
"I know that Dibber," answers Mister Glitz testily.
The Doctor and Peri stop in front of some sort of mound in the ground
ahead of them, but what's caught the Doctor's attention is something on
the ground. He exclaims, "Aha!" and pokes the earth with the tip of his
umbrella and scoops up a small bead necklace off the leaves as though
he were a park litter collector.
He shows it to Peri and tells her they are certainly not on this planet
alone. They set off around the mound a little on a reconnaisance.
Dibber and Mr. Glitz are assembling futuristic and lethal looking rifles
from pieces carried on their persons, which seems to go well with their
somewhat haphazard though designed clothes and somewhat odd sideburns
with lines cut horizontally in them showing bare skin beneath.
Mr. Glitz is telling Dibber as he assembles his gun that he's the product
of a broken home, and it sort of unbalanced him. Dibber tells him that
he's mentioned this before on occasion. Glitz goes on to say it made
him selfish to the point where he cannot stand competition. Dibber agrees
and says he knows the feeling only too well himself.
"Whereas yours is a simple case of sociopathy, Dibber," explains Glitz,
"My malaize is much more complex. 'A deep-rooted maladjustment,' my
psychiatrist said, 'brought about by an infantile inability to come to
terms with the more pertinent, concrete aspects of life.'"
"That sounds more like an insult than a diagnosis, Mr Glitz," answers Dibber.
"You're right there m'lad," smiles Glitz, "Mind you, I had just attempted
to kill him."
Dibber laughs as Glitz goes on about how he hates prison psychiatrists.
They do nothing for you. He's seen dozens of them, and he still hates
"Especially when it poaches my territory," he adds with a menace to his voice
as he and Dibber raise their guns and look through the sights. . .
. . . "I'm going to enjoy this," says Mr. Glitz as he centers his crosshairs
on the bobbing form of the Doctor. . .
Suddenly, the Doctor disappears down out of the field of view.
"Too late!" cries Glitz, "I do hate it when people get lucky! It really
offends my sensibilities!"
Dibber wonders if they should go after them.
Glitz asks him how they know where to look.
Dibber suggests that they perhaps copied the same map they did. He asks if
he himself should go after them.
Glitz asks if Dibber wants to help them.
Dibber tells him no, he doesn't, but he's worried that these two are after
the same thing as they are.
Glitz tells him not to worry, as they'll soon be dead. It's just that he
wanted the personal pleasure of killing them himself.
Peri and the Doctor are walking down a much steeper slope and Peri stops
as she spots what appears to be a wall to their left. She tells the
Doctor to come and look, and he remarks its the remains of a building.
Peri turns and tells him quite definitely that they're not going inside.
The Doctor tells her she's right. They can't. They haven't found the
entrance yet. He looks over the structure and comments it might be the
sort of place where some early life forms might have survived.
Peri puts herself between the Doctor and the building and tells him she's
not crazy about meeting any early life forms. The Doctor just mutters
a "hm, yeah" and continues looking over the structure.
"Now that we've got competition," says Dibber, "going to the village could
prove a valuable waste of time."
Glitz explains to Dibber that the "complex down there is still functional,
therefore the L3 robot is still operational."
Dibber says he understands.
Glitz reminds him that to render the robot non-operational, they must
first destroy the light converter which supplies its energy system.
Dibber says he knows all this.
Glitz asks why Dibber's arguing with him then, as its not his fault "that
a bunch of backward savages have turned a Magnum Mark Seven Light Converter
into a totem pole!"
Dibber says he just thinks they should kill those two people first.
"And meet the robot head on at full power?" asks Glitz incrediously, "I don't
think you have my full interests at heard, Dibber."
Dibber explains that if the robot doesn't kill those two before they
destroy its energy supply, they could be up and away with "the goods"
before they even get back from the village.
"I know that Dibber," says Glitz somewhat impatiently, "Now you understand
why I hate competition. It spoils everything!"
Dibber still thinks they should kill them.
Glitz tells him they will, when the time is right.
The Doctor is kneeled down at the base of the structure, peering around
as though looking for an opening. Peri tells him she has a weird feeling
that she's been here before. The Doctor tells her he often gets that
feeling, but then again he usually has been there before, but in her
case its not possible.
Peri tells him that whether its possible or not, she wants to get away
from there. The Doctor tells her she's absolutely right. They must
find out what's going on here.
"Aha!" he shouts again, spotting the gap in the undergrowth which he
then rushes through, calling for Peri to follow him. Peri stops to look
around a little, until the Doctor calls for her again.
The Doctor leads the way into a dark and gloomy chamber which the Doctor
alights with a flashlight he pulls from his pockets. Peri regards a
small scratch on one of her fingers she received from the brush they
walked through and tells the Doctor she scratched herself.
The Doctor looks back at her and reminds her she's young and she'll soon
heal as he walks down what appear to be escalator stairs that no longer
escalate nor look like they have done for some considerable time and onto
a flat-floored lower level. Peri thanks him for the sympathy and then
spots something near the curved concrete brick wall to her left.
The Doctor turns and tells someone, possibly Peri, that he's glad he
decided to come here.
"You know, I might stay here for a year or so and write a thesis," he
exudes, now gesturing with his hands as though seeing the title in lights,
"Ancient Life on Ravolox by Doctor. . . "
"Doctor, look!" Peri interrupts. He stops talking, turns towards where
Peri is kneeling, and shines the light on what she's looking at as she
tells him she's found something he should see.
Something neither one of them see is someone looking down on them from
the top of the stairs, carrying a tall wooden spear. . .
Glitz and Dibber spot a small party of people carrying wood. From their
somewhat dirty complections and hand-woven clothing, Glitz concludes
them to be "primitive screeves" as he and Dibber hide behind a thick tree.
Dibber asks if they're from the Village, and Glitz says they are.
Dibber says they should make them a few less that they'll have to deal with
and raises his gun and takes aim.
Glitz puts his hand on his shoulder and tells Dibber not to fire, as all
they need is a gesture of strength that will show them they haven't got a
He reaches into a pocket and pulls out a small sphere from which he pulls
a pin. He then lobs the ball to a point halfway between themselves and
the party. On impact it explodes in a column of black smoke and impresses
the villagers with a large explosion sound.
Glitz remarks that its amazing the effect a loud bang can have on the
primitive mind. He and Dibber approach a little closer, and then stop
as Glitz says, "Come here you ignorant, maggot-ridden peasant!"
He turns to Dibber and mutters how he somehow always feels foolish saying
this next bit.
"Take me to your leader!"
The Doctor shines the flashlight on a sign painted on the concrete floor
that Peri has cleared away and which reads "MARBLE ARCH."
The Doctor comments that he supposes there is a billion to one chance
there was somewhere called that on Ravolox.
Peri asks if the Ravoloxians also wrote in English.
The Doctor says that that's another billion to one chance, and the whole
situation begins to seem a little unlikely.
Peri tells him she thinks they're on Earth, and reminds him she said it
felt like Earth.
The Doctor gets to his feet and protests that this world is in the wrong
part of space to be her planet, and besides that, according to all the
records, this is Ravolox.
Peri asks him how he explains the sign then, and the Doctor admits that
he can't, unless the Ravoloxians collected railway stations.
Peri gets up and tells him that's ridiculous.
The Doctor tells her it's not impossible, or at least, not as impossible
as the other explanation, which is that somehow or other the Earth and
its entire constellation managed to shift itself a couple of light years
across space after which it for some reason became known as Ravolox.
Peri asks what time they are in, and the Doctor pulls his replacement
gold watch out of his vest pocket on its green chain and consults its
display with the aid of the flashlight, telling Peri that they are a long
time after her period. "Two million years or more."
Peri asks what happened to London then, and the Doctor looks around and
says, "Wiped out, if this was London."
Peri turns from him, looks around nervously, and tells the Doctor she
knows that it is. "I can feel it."
The Doctor admonishes her not to get emotional. Peri flares her nostrils,
turns and tears at him, "This cinder we're standing on is all that's
left of my world!" and then more quietly, "Everything that I knew. . . "
The Doctor leaps from his chair in protest, and the evidence stops play on
the screen. He demands to know why he has to sit here watching Peri getting
upset while two unsavory adventures bully a bunch of natives.
The Valeyard promises him that the reason will be made clear shortly.
The Doctor suddenly realizes something and asks, "As a matter of interest,
where is Peri?"
"Where you left her," says the Valeyard matter-of-factly.
"Where's that?" asks the Doctor nervously.
"You don't remember?" asks the Valeyard, "Obviously a side effect of being
taken out of Time. The amnesia should soon pass."
The Inquisitor is anxious to continue, and the Doctor asks if they can
just see the edited highlights as he sits down to regard the screen again
as the Valeyard reactivates the Matrix playback.
On the screen, Peri looks upset, and the Doctor stands at her shoulder as
though to console her. . .
Prosecution Interface One "The Mysterious Planet"
The Doctor tells Peri he knows how she feels, and she asks if he really does.
The Doctor tells her "Of course I do," and then reminds her that she's
been travelling long enough with him to know that none of this really matters
to her. Her world is safe.
Peri turns and tells him it's still her world, whatever the period, and she
cares about it, and all the Doctor's doing is talking about it as though he
were in a planetarium.
She walks ahead of him a few steps, and he apologizes, but tells her to
look at it this way. "Planets come and go, stars perish. Matter disperses,
coalesces into other patterns. Other worlds. 'Nothing can be eternal.'"
Peri swallows and tells him she knows what he means, but then turns and
tells him she still wants to get away from here. The Doctor looks at her
and speaks as though on fire with enthusiasm.
"Oh, I can't! There's a mystery here! Questions! To which *I* must have
As if to illustrate his point, he runs to the as yet unexplored far end of
the chamber and promptly discovers something, a door in the wall with a wheel
in the center. He turns the wheel, and the door slides open with an electric
whir, revealing a tunnel beyond with shiny metallic walls.
"Hermetically sealed!" comments the Doctor. He shines his light down the
passage and notes it leads down to a lower lovel where some of the original
inhabitants may have survived. He asks Peri is she's coming with him.
Peri tells the Doctor she's seen enough, and that she'll wait for him at
She starts to walk away, adding, "Where they used to sell candy bars and
The Doctor tells her he shan't be long, reminds her not to go wandering off,
and to be careful. He sets off down the tunnel.
Peri starts to leave and trips on something, stumbling a little. The Doctor
suddenly leaps back up from the tunnel, worried. He looks at her, and
says, "I said, 'be careful!'"
"Of what?" shouts Peri down the tunnel after the departing tunnel.
"The spooks and ghosts you're always telling me don't exist?" She doesn't
get a response, and then adds, "Hey! You could have left me the umbrella!"
She dusts herself down a little and mutters she doesn't mind getting wet
as she heads for the stairway again.
Peri suddenly screams as two men carrying spears and wearing wooden masks
grab her by the arms. . .
Two villagers lead the pair of Glitz and Dibber into their village, followed
by two other villagers. The village itself is completely made of wood or
straw or grass, yet every building looks extremely well-made and sturdy,
and the entire place is very well thought-out.
Dibber hefts his gun up a bit and asks Glitz to let him blast the villagers.
Glitz tells Dibber he'd look good with a back full of spears, and tells him
to use his head.
A group of villagers are gathered around one large hut entrance in particular,
and a stout, ageing yet prime-looking woman with curly red hair and a simple
solid headress steps out, looking very proud with each pace.
Glitz tells Dibber that they have company, right royal company by the looks
of things. Dibber doesn't think Glitz will be able to charm her, but
Glitz promises him he has a way with ageing females, and that with one look
into his eyes, they start to melt.
The tunnel the Doctor finds himself in is now very brighly lit indeed, and
he turns off his flashlight and pockets it. The tunnel is circular in
shape, obviously having been constructed that way, and the walls made of
a translucent white material from which the light emanates.
The tunnel leads to a large red-colored chamber with stairs on the walls
leading to hatches. There are also five or six pedestals at the foot
of the stairs at intervals (one per hatch above it seems) on top of which
rest large jugs of water with narrow necks. The Doctor looks a couple over
and then picks one up.
Instantly as he picks it up, the hatches all slide open downwards and
a crowd of perhaps ten young men wearing yellow coveralls and grey, clinging
hoods rush into the room, each carrying thick wooden sticks as a bored-sounding
voice sounds over an unseen intercom saying, "Water thief! Water thief!
Protect your water!" again and again.
The men approach the Doctor threateningly and swiftly, and he lamely starts
to ask if they could direct him to the station master. The crowd around
him and force him to the floor with their sticks.
"Yes, Immortal?" asks the man. This man is dressed in a glossy black
including a cowl, and is obviously shorter than the camera he is speaking
into. He is seen on a monitor screen in part of what looks like a complex
control room somewhere.
"Marb Station shows one work unit over stregth! Remove it!" commands an
electronic voice. The man on the monitor says he will do this immediately,
and the screen blanks off.
The giant silver robot with clawed hands a large, curved horizontal
head and the shining silver number 3 on its chest swings itself away.
The man in black approaches another man who wears a stained-painted helmet
with a radio built-in and lights at eye level on both sides who is seated
behind a control desk. Both men appear slightly pale, as though neither
has ever seen the light of the sun.
The man in black orders the younger man at the console to call the Watch
as Marb is a work unit over. The young man asks how this is, and the
commander says he doesn't know, but the Immortal is never wrong. He calls
the young man by the name of Grell.
Grell summons the Watch.
A crowd of small children joins the rest of the villagers in the crowd
surrounding their queen as she questions Glitz and Dibber outside her hut.
The queen asks where the outlanders are from.
Glitz tells her they're from a far off star. The queen asks if he has
a spaceship, and Glitz is surprised to learn she knows of such things.
The queen explains that it is recorded in their folk memory that before
the Fire their ancestors traveled among the stars.
Glitz asks, "Is that a fact?"
The queen further says that such star travel is known to have andered
the gods, who punished them by sending the Fireball that destroyed their
Glitz smiles as though he's about to tell her a secret he knows she wants
to hear, and tells her it was much more secular than that. He points
at the large silver and black column-like tower at the center of the village
that is obviously not made of wood. He tells the queen that it is that
which attracted the Fireball five hundred years ago, and he's here now
to tell her its a malfunctioning navigational beacon, and that if it isn't
dismantled, the Fireball will return.
The queen asks for Glitz's name. "Sabalom Glitz," he answers.
The queen tells him she is an old woman, and that he is not the first to
visit her village from another world.
"Is that a fact?" asks Glitz again, mocking interest.
"On each and every occasion they have all wanted to dismantle the great
totem," explains the queen.
"In that case you understand the urgency. . . " begins Glitz.
"And on each and every occasion they have had a different reason!" completes
Glitz tells her that his credentials are bone fide and completely in order,
and he and Dibber begin to produce their guns. Before they can start to
take aim, however, the guns are grabbed by the nearest villagers and given
to the queen.
"Ah yes," she says, "The guns! They all had similar credentials."
Glitz repeats his story about the totem being a beacon that must be dismantled,
and the queen angrily shouts, "You must think me a fool! You have come here
for no other reason but to steal the symbol of our great god!"
"And what would I want with some earth-grubbing deity?" protests Glitz.
"I don't know," says the queen, "But before you die, I shall certainly find
The tall young man who seems to be the leader of the other yellow-covered
young men asks the recovering Doctor where he's from, calling him "old one."
"Old one?" asks the Doctor as he sees he's chained to a pole in the center
of the room.
The man asks what station the Doctor disgraced with his miserable presence,
and calls him a water thief. The Doctor tells this whiskerless youth he
is in the prime of his life at the age of merely nine hundred years.
He shakes against the chains and demands to be untied. The man tells
him he'll be untied when they're ready for the stoning.
The Doctor looks in surprise and sees the other yound men that attacked
him cheerily sorting through a pile of stones, looking for the ones that
they would most like to throw at the Doctor.
The Doctor asks if this is the way they welcome visitors, and the young
man tells him that water is life, and that those who steal life must in
their turn die. "The Immortal commands it."
The Doctor asks who that might be, and the young man promises the Doctor
that feigning ignorance of the Immortal isn't going to save him from
death, placing the handle of the Doctor's umbrella on a piece of chain
and hanging it there.
The queen looks admiringly at Glitz and Dibber's rifles and tells a small
man with a chipped tooth next to her that this is what she's been waiting
"Now Immortal, I am ready for you."
The Doctor asks what the man's name is, and he says he is Balazar, the
Reader of the Books.
The Doctor asks what books those are, and Balazar proudly tells him they
are ancient books from the world before the fire that contain much wisdom
for those that can intrepret their meaning, and that here in Marb they
"Three?!" says the Doctor, being sarcastically impressed. He asks what
the books are called, and Balazar tells him they are the Books of
Knowledge. The Doctor tries again, asking for the names of each individual
book, which is usually written on the front.
"One of our books is called Mo By Dick by Herman Melville," explains
Balazar, adding that it tells of a great white water god and contains
many mystical passages. The Doctor mentions that he's read it himself.
Balazar doesn't believe him, calling him "old one" again. The Doctor
tells him not to, giving him his proper title. "I am known as the Doctor."
He then asks what else they read, and Balazar explains that the second
books is _The Water Babies_ by Charles Kingsley, which tells of life long
before the fire. The Doctor remarks that is sounds like a rum sort of
library to him, and asks what the third book is.
"Most mysterious of all the ancient texts," says Balazar with an air
of reverence, "_UK Habitats of the Canadian Goose_ by HM Stationary Office."
The Doctor pretends badly to be impressed, and asks what Balazar calls
this place. "Marb Station," answers Balazar. The Doctor corrects himself
and says he meant the whole world, everything. "We call it UK Habitat,"
Two villagers in masks and carrying spears force the captured Peri ahead
of them and into the village.
Dibber observes this through the "bars" of the stone hut into which he and
Glitz have been imprisoned. The door is made of wood, as are the bars.
Dibber stands at the door while Glitz reclines on a hard bed.
Dibber tells Glitz the villagers have got the woman they saw earlier,
and Glitz says he just can't understand what's happened, especially as
these people are savages.
Dibber tells Glitz to not let it get him down.
Glitz asks Dibber what went wrong. "That old hag took our guns away from
us just like that," he says snapping his fingers.
Dibber reminds Glitz he said it was risky coming to the village.
Glitz reminds Dibber what he's said about competition.
Dibber tells Glitz they should have blasted the two people they saw.
Glitz tells Dibber he's made his point.
The Doctor has been untied and Balazar shows him a spot to stand beside the
pole. The Doctor asks why he should stand there, now carrying his
umbrella. Balazar says it's in case some stray stone breaks the water
jugs, and over here that's less likely.
The Doctor nods understanding as Balazar adds that people get very excited
during these stonings.
The Doctor says he's not excited, but he's not especially worried, looking
like he's got something planned.
Balazar says, "Ready?" intending this for the eager crowd of young men with
The Doctor answers, "Yes."
"Get set," says Balazar, "Go!"
The men start throwing their stones rapidly, but the Doctor deflects them
by popping open his umbrella and using it as a shield. This only works
for a few seconds as one of the stones sneaks in through the side and
catches him on the temple. He cries in pain and then sinks to the floor
with his eyes closed. The men in the crowd shout, "Hooray!" and stop
stoning him, running to his body as though to pick at it.
The Matrix screen returns to its grey state, with the picture breaking up
in small squares. The Doctor turns and asks the Valeyard why he stopped
it at the best bit as he was rather enjoying this.
"I'm sure you were," answers the Valeyard.
The Doctor asks for approval of his clever trick with the umbrella, and
the Valeyard tells him it was most ingenious.
The Doctor smiles and tells him how he likes to do the unexpected as it
takes people by surprise.
The Valeyard stands and addresses the rest of the Court.
"Hear how the Doctor takes pride in his interference! Hear how he boasts!
These are not the reactions of a responsible Time Lord!"
"We are all aware of that, Valeyard," says the Inquisitor, looking up from
the notes she's been making in her book. "What is the point you are trying
"These proceedings started as a mere Inquiry into the Doctor's
activities. I'm suggesting now it becomes a Trial, and if he is
found guilty, I strongly suggest the termination of his life!"
The Doctor sits up in his chair and stares in shock at the Valeyard. . .
JOAN SIMS TONY SELBY
GLEN MURPHY TOM CHADBON
Drathro Broken Tooth
ROGER BRIERLEY DAVID RODIGAN
ADAM BLACKWOOD TIMOTHY WALKER
Title Music composed by Incidental Music Special Sound
RON GRAINER DOMINIC GLYNN DICK MILLS
Production Manager Production Associate Production Assistant
CLARE GRAHAM ANGELA SMITH JOY SINCLAIR
Assistant Floor Manager O.B. Lighting O.B. Sound
STEPHEN JEFFREY-POULTER JOHN WIGGINS BILL WHISTON
Visual Effects Designer Video Effects Vision Mixer
MIKE KELT DANNY POPKIN JIM STEPHENS
Technical Co-ordinator Studio Camera Supervisor Videotape Editor
ALAN ARBUTHNOTT ALEC WHEAL STEPHEN NEWNHAM
Studio Lighting Studio Sound
MIKE JEFFERIES BRIAN CLARK
Costume Designer Make-Up Designer
KEN TREW DENISE BARON
Script Editor Title Sequence
ERIC SAWARD SID SUTTON
(C) BBC MCMLXXXVI
First transmitted on 6 September, 1986.
This synopsis by Steven K. Manfred
Synopsis copyright July 5, 1994.
Permission is given to all to copy this synopsis as long as it is not for
reasons of profit.
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