THE TWO DOCTORS
Written by ROBERT HOLMES
1. INT. COMPUTER CONSTRUCT, CHIMERO SPACE STATION
SIXTH DOCTOR: (Fiddling with the computer wires) What is it, Peri?
PERI: I don't know... come and see!
SIXTH DOCTOR: (Absently) In a minute
(Peri continues to examine the blankets on the ground. While she does this the mysterious cloaked figure approaches silently from
behind. Meanwhile the Doctor makes one last adjustment to the computer's wiring and begins to close the terminal.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: There. That should just about have done it.
(Peri screams in the distance. The Doctor spins around alarmedly.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Peri!
(As soon as he turns away from the terminal a jet of smoky gas is sprayed from it, and hits him right in the face. His body
contorts in pain and he falls limply forward. He lands on a length of tangled wires and hangs there, motionless. Meanwhile the
cloaked figure has jumped Peri and is on her back, grappling with her. Peri tries to roll over and hit back at the figure. The
figure grunts hoarsely and falls off her before lying motionless. Peri quickly stands up, still panicky. She starts to make her way
through the construct.)
PERI: Thanks for your help, Doctor!
(She walks through the construct and comes to the Doctor's body. She pulls the Doctor down from the wires, and he falls
limply to the ground. She kneels by his body.)
PERI: Doctor? Wake up!
SIXTH DOCTOR: *groan*
SIXTH DOCTOR: (Groggily) What is it?
(Peri begins to pull the Doctor to his feet as he moans weakly.)
PERI: C'mon, Doctor, get up!
SIXTH DOCTOR: Ugh, Peri! (He stands up) Peri, what happened? Why'd you scream?
PERI: That thing you saw was an animal. It attacked me.... And it's human, I think!
SIXTH DOCTOR: If you hadn't screamed I wouldn't have triggered that stun jet; I was expecting there'd be one!...it can't be human.
We're in the farthest reaches of the Galaxy.
(The Doctor walks back along the passageway. Peri follows.)
PERI: *sigh* Well it's humanoid at any rate...come and see it.
SIXTH DOCTOR: Huh. Ballroom gas. An ordinary person would have been unconscious for hours.
PERI: So would you if I hadn't dragged you clear of it!
SIXTH DOCTOR: No! I closed my respiratory passages as soon as I detected any danger!
(They stop walking, as they've reached the unconscious body.)
PERI: Well, then how did you breath?
SIXTH DOCTOR: *small laugh* With difficulty. I'll explain one day.
(The Doctor kneels over the body.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Yes, it certainly does appear to be humanoid...so it finally mustered the courage to attack...
PERI: I think it might've been my fault... it was just protecting it's nest.
SIXTH DOCTOR: Understandable.
(The Doctor turns the body over, and as he does so a hood falls away to reveal the assailant as Jamie, albeit a tired-looking
Jamie with a grimy face and clothes it looks like he found on a dead technician. He groans.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Jamie?
SIXTH DOCTOR: It's Jamie! How did he get here? He should be with me.
PERI: Well, he's not now, Doctor, not anymore.
SIXTH DOCTOR: Yes, that's right... but if he's here, then where am I?... I must have been here, Peri!
PERI: You mean at some past time?
SIXTH DOCTOR: Uh-huh.
(Jamie regains consciousness, and starts to panic, grunting and kicking wildly.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: It's alright, Jamie, it's all right!
JAMIE: Keep away!
(The Doctor hands a shiny medical- thing who proceeds to wrap it tightly around Jamie's right arm.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Alright...
JAMIE: Hurry! Keep off!
SIXTH DOCTOR: Jamie! It's all right!
(The Doctor jabs Jamie in the throat with a strange probe that resembles a needle but with a small black orb on the end..
Jamie struggles but it's to no avail. He falls unconscious again as the Doctor inserts a second, smaller needle.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Don't worry... it will help you to relax...
PERI: Help him relax? You've killed him!
SIXTH DOCTOR: Don't be ridiculous! (He stares at Jamie's body.) You know, I seem to remember I was always very fond of
PERI: He's not moving
SIXTH DOCTOR: Nope. His nervous system's temporarily paralysed. He'll be fine shortly.
JAMIE: (slurred) Doctor...Doctor...
SIXTH DOCTOR: Yes Jamie?
PERI: He's not talking to you.
JAMIE: (slurred) They're killing the Doctor...
(The Doctor stands up.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: (Grimly) I'm afraid he's deranged. It's often the effect of extreme fear.
(The Doctor walks off.)
JAMIE: (slurred) Murdering the Doctor...
PERI: (Leaning closer) Jamie?
JAMIE: (slurred) They killed the Doctor...
PERI: Can you hear me? My name's Peri. I'm your friend. Do you understand?
JAMIE: They've killed the Doctor.
(Jamie continues his murmuring.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: He seems very sure of that.
PERI: Is it possible?
SIXTH DOCTOR: Of course not! I exist therefore I am, and was.
PERI: (Bitterly) Don't go through all that irrefutable logic again.
SIXTH DOCTOR: Oh, yes, I remember. That mind-slip in the TARDIS.
PERI: You did SAY you were being put to death.
SIXTH DOCTOR: Yes, I did...I wonder if it could've been here?
PERI: Don't ask me, I don't understand any of this!
SIXTH DOCTOR: Ah, neither do I! Not yet.
(The Doctor kneels beside Jamie and pulls out a silver fob-watch.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Jamie, I want you to look at this pretty little thing here.
(He begins to swing the fob watch.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: See? Look how it swings? Backwards... forwards. Forwards...backwards.
(Jamie is silent, and raises his head to look at the watch.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: (Softly) It makes your eyes feel... heavy. So heavy. Sleep. Sleep.
(Jamie closes his eyes slowly and his head falls backwards.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Now, why did you come here with the Doctor?
(Jamie keeps his eyes shut, and talks groggily, as if in a trance.)
JAMIE: To see Dastari.
SIXTH DOCTOR: Did you see him?
JAMIE: Aye... they had an argument.
SIXTH DOCTOR: (Incredulously) The Doctor had an argument with Dastari? What about?
JAMIE: The Time Lords.
SIXTH DOCTOR: What happened then, Jamie? Can you remember?
JAMIE: There was a battle. The knights came and killed everyone.
SIXTH DOCTOR: The knights? (Pause) What were they like, Jamie, can you tell me?
JAMIE: They had a sort of... armour. Heavy... with no necks. And their hands were just... two great fingers. They killed everyone.
(Jamie rears his head up again all of a sudden, his eyes wide in shock.)
JAMIE: They killed the Doctor I saw 'em!
(The Doctor raises his hands to Jamie's head and chest to comfit him.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: It's alright Jamie! (Pushing Jamie's head back down) Sleep. Sleep.
(The Doctor carefully removes the probes from Jamie's throat and stands up slowly.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: He just gave a reasonably accurate description of the Sontarans.
PERI: (Standing up) Who?
(The Doctor walks off determinedly. Peri follows.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Let's see if anything's recorded in that computer.
PERI: But what about Jamie?
SIXTH DOCTOR: He'll be fine. A bit of rest will be the best thing for him.
2. EXT. SEVILLE COUNTRYSIDE, SPAIN
(Oscar and Anita are walking up a hill. Oscar appears agitated while Anita is her usual calm self. Oscar grabs Anita's hand
and pulls her in towards him, melodramatically.)
OSCAR: Is it possible that we imagined what we saw?
ANITA: Of course not.
OSCAR: You are such a pragmatist, my little flower, but if an aeroplane has crashed, why, shouldn't there be wreckage?
ANITA: Of course.
OSCAR: Well, then, like a star on my dressing room door it becomes conspicuous by its absence.
ANITA: We simply haven't found it yet: we must continue to search.
OSCAR: We should summon the authorities. Confident, official people trained in the tying of bandages.
ANITA: We have to search! There may be people bleeding to death at this very moment!
OSCAR: I'm not a well man.
(Anita moves in and hugs Oscar.)
ANITA: Oh, be brave, Oscar. Think of all the publicity. Who knows? The British Consul may forgive you and book you on an forthcoming
(Anita walks off, leaving Oscar with this thought which clearly entertains his ego.)
3. INT. CONTROL CENTRE, CHIMERO SPACE STATION
(A black and grey tiled room, filled with unusual devices. The Sixth Doctor confidently strides in, with Peri in tow.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Of course, I never for a moment thought that it was the Time Lords.
PERI: Oh, come on! You had your doubts.
SIXTH DOCTOR: Well, only because of that last entry in Dastari's log.
(All of a sudden the camera swivels around to reveal that the Doctor and Peri we were watching were simply a reflection in a large
mirror that takes up an entire wall, and focuses on the real pair. They carry on walking and talking.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Someone must have forced him to write that before they killed him.
PERI: But why would they want to frame the Time Lords?
SIXTH DOCTOR: (As if he's never heard the word before) "Frame"?
PERI: Well, erm, make them appear guilty when they weren't.
SIXTH DOCTOR: Oh I see. 'Set them up', hmmm? (Thinks for a moment) I don't know. They're rabidly xenophobic.
Probably thought that if they let the Third-Zoners get too powerful they'd ally themselves with the Rutans.
(The Doctor sits down on a large black swivel chair and begins messing around with the computer controls, seemingly at random.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: (To computer) Is that the answer?
COMPUTER: No speak.
SIXTH DOCTOR: (Condescendingly) "No speak" Well what kind of language is that?
COMPUTER: Central fault. No speak.
SIXTH DOCTOR: I must've disconnected one of its linguistic neurons. Oh well. Databank's still functioning.
(The Doctor uses the controls, and a triangular screen in the wall is filled with rapidly-scrolling white alien font over a blue
background. The Doctor reads it carefully, with a face of intense concentration. Peri appears to be faintly bored.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Hmm?
PERI: Who're the Rutans?
SIXTH DOCTOR: Oh the Sontarans and the Rutans are old enemies. They've been fighting each other across the galaxy for so long
that they've almost forgotten what started it.
(Peri has wandered off and is looking in the mirror. The Doctor is still engrossed in the computer.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Aha, there's the Kartz and Reimer work.
PERI: (Laughs) Oh, I look a mess.
(Peri adjusts her shirt and hair before turning around.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: (Concernedly) Of course, you can understand the Time Lords wanting to monitor their experiments. If the
holistic fabric of time were ever punctured, it would be like putting a pin into a balloon. The Universe would simply collapse.
PERI: Well, I'll go see if Jamie's alright.
SIXTH DOCTOR: (Shocked) Peri, it's possible!
SIXTH DOCTOR: That I was killed! That's why I collapsed, the weakness that I felt...
(Peri is stunned. She runs over to the Doctor.)
PERI: But you said you couldn't be dead then and here now!
SIXTH DOCTOR: Yes, but if I arrived here during a time experiment, caught within a time embolism and therefore outside the time
flow....but if I were dead then and here now... it means I was at the very epicentre of the engulfing chaos.
PERI: I don't understand.
SIXTH DOCTOR: It means the collapse of the Universe has started... and I can't stop it.
PERI: How long will it take?
SIXTH DOCTOR: For everything to end? (Pause) A very few centuries.
PERI: (grinning) Centuries? Well, if it's gonna take that long I'll go see if Jamie's any better.
(She walks out. The Doctor sighs and puts his head in his hand.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: (Glumly) She can't comprehend. The scale of it all.
(The Doctor stands and walks slowly across the room.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Eternal blackness. (softly) No more sunsets. No more gumblejacks. Never more a butterfly.
(The Doctor reflects on this for a few moments, clearly depressed. Suddenly he spots something and shouts in alarm.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Peri!
(Peri is inside the same clear-walled chamber that Jamie saw the Second Doctor inside earlier. The blue lights are flashing and
she is clawing at the walls, a look of agony on her face. The Doctor desperately tries to shut it off but the controls near it don't
seem to do anything. He quickly runs over to the computer console and starts pressing buttons. When he looks up Peri is gone, and has
been replaced by Dastari, who is also writhing in agony. Perplexed the Doctor presses the button again and the image changes to the
Second Doctor, also writhing in pain. He then presses it more and the images change rapidly from Peri, to Dastari, and finally to the
Sixth Doctor himself. They all have expressions of agony on their faces. The Doctor is confused, but shuts the machine off and seems
to contemplate it. Peri and Jamie run into the room, with Jamie now seen to be wearing a very grimy-looking yellow full-body jumpsuit
that he assumedly found on the station.)
JAMIE: He's not the Doctor I know.
(The two walk closer.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: I am too, Jamie McCrimmon. I am another aspect of him, just as he is of me.
JAMIE: (Confused) Eh?
SIXTH DOCTOR: I was him, he will be me.
JAMIE: Who will I be?
(The Doctor is about to answer, but then decides to ignore him, instead turning back to the controls.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Peri, look at this.
(He presses a switch and the device is again filled with the image of Peri being tortured.)
PERI: Doctor, it's horrible! Stop it!
SIXTH DOCTOR: Life-like isn't it? Or rather, death-like.
(He switches the device off.)
JAMIE: But that's how they killed the Doctor. I saw it.
SIXTH DOCTOR: I don't think they did, Jamie. I'm beginning to understand, now. They left this illusion to make it appear
that I was dead.
SIXTH DOCTOR: The Sontarans. They wanted to prevent any investigation into my disappearance. Which means I must have been held
PERI: But why am I in it?
SIXTH DOCTOR: It was their mistake: they left the animator switched on. (Pointing to the mirror) When you looked at that
it copied your body print.
JAMIE: So you don't think the Doctor's dead? I mean, my Doctor.
SIXTH DOCTOR: No I don't, Jamie. And if I'm not dead in that form it means my theory about the embolism is also wrong. Well,
this begins to have all the hallmarks of a conspiracy.
PERI: What sort of conspiracy?
SIXTH DOCTOR: That's right, Jamie. A plot. To kidnap me and Dastari as well. And he's about the only bio-geneticist in
the galaxy capable of isolating the symbiotic nuclei of a Time Lord.
PERI: (smugly) So that's how you control the TARDIS. Symbiosis.
SIXTH DOCTOR: (Gravely) If the Sontarans ever get unlimited access to time-travel they'll be invincible! We must
find out where they're holding me!
JAMIE: Oh, how could we do that? They could be anywhere!
SIXTH DOCTOR: I made contact with myself before in that... mind-slip... I'll try telepathy. It's about our only chance.
(The Doctor walks over to a bench in the corner of the room and lies on top of it.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Now, I shall seem to be unconscious for quite a while but don't worry. And while my mind is out of my body don't
touch me: don't come anywhere near me! Any sort of contact might sever the astral link and kill me.
(The Doctor presses his hands together as if in prayer and closes his eyes.)
PERI: How long will you be?
SIXTH DOCTOR: (turning to face her) Oh, seconds... hours....days? Who knows? There's no such thing as 'time' on the astral
JAMIE: (in confidence) I think your Doctor's worse than mine.
(Peri nods in agreement.)
4. INT. HACIENDA CELLAR, SPAIN
(The hacienda's cellar is extensive, clearly covering as much land as the house itself. It is filled with barrels, crates, old
shelves and other sundry items in great quantities. Chessene walks through the cellar and comes to the Second Doctor, who is lying prone,
strapped in, on a large silver operating table. Dastari is in the background, attending to what looks like a medical workbench and pulling
out a bizarre-looking medical device. He turns around and walks to the Doctor.)
CHESSENE: How is he?
DASTARI: He'll soon come round.
(The pair walk right up to beside the Doctor. Dastari presses his medical gizmo against the Doctor's right arm and it makes a
whirring electronic noise. Slowly, the Doctor's eyes begin to flicker. We see from his point of view: a blurry image of Dastari standing
SECOND DOCTOR: (mumbling) Jamie...
5. INT. CONTROL CENTRE, CHIMERO SPACE STATION
(The Sixth Doctor is still lying in his position on the bench. Suddenly he cries out, as if in pain.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Jamie!
(Jamie and Peri rush over and kneel beside him.)
PERI: Oh come on, Doctor. Wake up!
(The Doctor comes out of his trance, but is very groggy.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Where I am... and...where I..
(The Doctor turns to Jamie and Peri.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Peri. Jamie. Was I away very long?
JAMIE: Just minutes.
SIXTH DOCTOR: Boing! Boing!
(Jamie and Peri exchange an exhausted look and stand up.)
(Suddenly the Doctor jumps up from his prone state and spins Peri around, shouting out his lines.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Bells, my dear! Bells! Come on, there isn't a moment to lose.
(He runs off and Jamie and Peri are quick to follow.)
PERI: Where are we going?
(The Doctor suddenly stops running and turns around to face them. There is very nearly a collision.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: I don't know... something to do with getting my hair cut.
(The Doctor walls off again, humming merrily. Jamie and Peri are very confused, but follow him nonetheless.)
6. EXT. SEVILLE HACIENDA, SPAIN
(We see a Sontaran Battle Cruiser lying incongruously on the hacienda's lawn, with it's door open. It slowly fades out of
7. INT. HACIENDA CELLAR
(Varl the Sontaran and Shockeye are carrying boxes through the cellar. Shockeye disappears from view, but Varl walks
to Chessene and Dastari, who are examining their medical equipment and rests his large box on the floor.)
VARL: That is the complete manifest.
(Chessene walks over towards him.)
CHESSENE: Where is Stike?
VARL: The Group Marshall has been tracing the scout ship in clear in order to conceal it from the local primitives.
(Varl walks off.)
DASTARI: Even in clear it's still possible to detect, with tracking equipment. You should have chose a less populous planet.
(Dastari walks over to the Second Doctor on the operating table. Chessene follows him. As she does so we see Shockeye in
CHESSENE: According to the Doņa Arana nobody comes here, even though there is a city only four kilometres away.
DASTARI: Are there any defensive installations in the area?
CHESSENE: The Doņa Arana knows nothing of that. There was very little in her mind to absorb.
SHOCKEYE: Nor in her body. Nothing but bone and gristle, ugh!
(Dastari moves back towards his workbench.)
DASTARI: I would have preferred somewhere completely deserted. The operation is an eloquent one we cannot risk any interruption.
CHESSENE: The Group Marshall favoured Earth. His forces are planning an attack on the Madeline Cluster and this planet is conveniently
situated. And it was also Shockeye's wish to come here.
DASTARI: (taken aback) And you indulged it? Why?
(There is a lengthy pause while Chessene walks silently towards Dastari.)
CHESSENE: He has a craving to savour the flesh of these human creatures. As an Androgum myself I am aware of the potency of
DASTARI: You are no longer an Androgum, Chessene. I have raised you to a superior plane of life.
(Chessene walks away from Dastari.)
CHESSENE: There are blood-ties between the Franzine Grig and the Quawncing Grig, Dastari. Shockeye does not yet know the full
nature of my intentions. When he does learn the truth he is going to feel that I have betrayed our Androgum inheritance.
DASTARI: A being of your powers cannot stay trapped forever in the traditions of blood and race. You must go on alone, Chessene,
to create new traditions.
CHESSENE: (meaningfully) Not quite alone, Dastari.
(They are both distracted by loud, cackling laughter from Shockeye and a strange squeaking noise. They turn around to see Shockeye
emerging from some barrels gleefully holding a rat. He carefully breaks its neck and begins to devour the meat on its breast.)
DASTARI: He calls humans primitive!
CHESSENE: (defensively) All of our chefs sample the raw flavour of ingredients before even heating their cooking pots.
SHOCKEYE: (with his mouth full) Does this have a name, Chessene?
CHESSENE: The Doņa Arana knows it as... rat.
CHESSENE: It is a scavenging animal.
SHOCKEYE: (chewing slowly) Hmm... the flesh... is rank. Smoke-dried: it might just be tolerable!
(He throws the rat carcass away and spits out the meat.)
8. INT. SIXTH DOCTOR'S TARDIS
(The Sixth Doctor and Peri stand at opposite sides of the console. Jamie is not to be seen.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Boing!... the largest of the 25 bells in the cathedral at Seville! Most distinctive.
PERI: You certainly specialize in arcane knowledge.
SIXTH DOCTOR: Of course. Now we know the area where they're holding me. Now it's in the distance... (think a moment) About
three miles, I should judge. You ever been to Seville, Peri?
PERI: No. Have you?
SIXTH DOCTOR: (Exasperated) How else would I know the sounds of Mario when I hear it, oh do try and use your brain,
my girl! (Patting Peri's head) Small though it is the human brain can be quite effective when it's used properly!
(The Doctor turns back to the TARDIS controls and punches in some commands. Peri mouths the words 'I know' at him angrily.)
PERI: You might be wrong.
SIXTH DOCTOR: I'm NOT wrong. Now, the station was attacked ten or twelve days ago; in hyperdrive a Sontaran battle cruiser would
take that long to reach Earth: it could only just have reached there!
(Jamie enters through another door. He is now wearing a late 18th century outfit comprising of a silk shirt, a black
jacket, a kilt, a sporran, a sash and a large tartan cloak. He is also washed with tidied hair once more.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Ah, you look better for your change of clothes and your bath. You should try it more often.
JAMIE: Oh, thank you. What?
PERI: (wearily) Take no notice, Jamie, he's being crotchety. I think you look wonderful.
SIXTH DOCTOR: I am NOT crotchety. I am just...well, concerned.
JAMIE: About what?
SIXTH DOCTOR: About myself, chiefly. I mean, him. Languishing in some dark dungeon at the mercy of the Sontarans.
PERI: You can't be sure he's in a dungeon.
SIXTH DOCTOR: There was an echo. An after resonance. When you've been locked in as many dungeons as me you wouldn't fail to recognise
it. Well, are you ready?
JAMIE: For what?
SIXTH DOCTOR: Transference!
(Peri grabs a tight hold of the console. Jamie and the Doctor look at her confusedly, but as the Doctor presses the switch there
is a crashing noise and they both go flying backwards. Jamie stands back up and storms angrily over to the Sixth Doctor.)
JAMIE: Now my Doctor wouldna' have done THAT!
(Jamie reaches for the controls but the Doctor slaps it away.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Your Doctor, is an antediluvian fogy, allowing himself to be captured by the Sontarans. If anything
happens to me as a result of it I shall never forgive himself.
PERI: Oh, I do wish you'd stop switching personal pronouns. It'd make it a lot easier to understand what you're talking about.
(The Doctor is clearly about to retort, but Jamie cuts in, grunting in agreement with Peri. The Doctor is indignant.)
9. INT. HACIENDA CELLAR
(The Second Doctor is sitting on the operating table. He wakes up, and feebly tries to move.)
SECOND DOCTOR: (Groggily) Uh...good morning.
DASTARI: Don't try moving.
SECOND DOCTOR: Dastari?
DASTARI: You'll feel dizzy for a time.
SECOND DOCTOR: So...I've been drugged. (pause) What'd you use? It feels like...one of the anemones.
DASTARI: Absolutely right. Syrill Anemone.
SECOND DOCTOR: Syrill Anemone? (tries to push himself upright) But that effects the memory...
CHESSENE: We're not interested in your memory.
(The Doctor turns to face Chessene. Shockeye is in the background, eating a large chunk of meat, that is quite possibly a smoke-dried
SECOND DOCTOR: Haven't I seen you somewhere before? (Angrily) Oh, augmented Androgum.
(Two Sontarans, Stike and Varl, come down the cellar stairs behind Chessene. The Doctor sees them.)
SECOND DOCTOR: Oh, I don't think much of the company you keep, Dastari.
VARL: Ten-shun! Group Marshall Stike of the 9th Sontaran attack group!
(Stike strides up to the others with a baton under his arm.)
STIKE: Stand at ease.
CHESSENE: We already were, Stike. And tell that underling of yours not to shout every time you appear.
STIKE: Yes, Major Varl, the Androgum is quite right. (to Dastari and co.) We shall treat you as equals...for the time
VARL: Very good, sir.
SECOND DOCTOR: Sontarans... I remember now...the space station. I had someone with me...Jamie! (to Chessene) What've you
done with Jamie?
CHESSENE: Your companion will be long-since dead, Doctor. The Sontarans take no prisoners.
STIKE: Invincible policy.
SECOND DOCTOR: (Struggling to sit up) No!
(The Doctor tries desperately to stand up, to get away from them all, but Dastari and Shockeye are quick to hold him back and
force him onto the operating table with large metal restraints. The Doctor moans sorrowfully.)
SECOND DOCTOR: Poor old Jamie.
10. EXT. SEVILLE COUNTRYSIDE
(A small, grassy hill shaded by a very large tree. The whirring noise of the TARDIS is heard and it slowly dematerializes.
Oscar and Anita then come up the hill and are surprised by the sight.)
OSCAR: Huh! Isn't that incredible? 'Police'! And they say they're never there when you need them.
ANITA: Oscar, it doesn't say 'Policía'.
OSCAR: (confidently) Interpol, my dear. It watches everywhere.
(Oscar walks towards the TARDIS.)
ANITA: Oscar! You are a fool.
(The TARDIS door opens and the Sixth Doctor strides out, having removed his tacky suit and instead wearing a very colourful floral
vest over his white shirt and striped trousers. Jamie and Peri follow him out more cautiously.)
OSCAR: (V.O) Officer!
(The Doctor is confused and turns around to see who is talking to him. Oscar and Anita run up to him.)
OSCAR: We have to report a tragedy. Stark disaster has struck this simple countryside.
SIXTH DOCTOR: (Confused) Tragedy?...erm, what manner of disaster, Mister..?
OSCAR: Botcheby. Oscar Botcheby at your service, sir, and this dark-eyed naiad is named Anita.
ANITA: Oh, come on, Oscar. (to the Doctor) There has been a plane crash.
OSCAR: (to the Doctor) Well, of course it may not be your department; I can see from your raiment that you obviously belong
to the plain-clothes branch.
(The Doctor looks at his own clothes for a moment, but then returns to the conversation.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Er, did you see this... aeroplane?
OSCAR: No, we were in an olive grove at the time it roared overhead... we were on a mock-hunting expedition. Are you interested
in lepidoptery at all?
SIXTH DOCTOR: I am interested in everything Mr. Botcheby, but mainly, at the moment, in this 'crash' you heard.
(Anita steps between them.)
ANITA: It landed near Doņa Arana's hacienda. We saw three survivors struggling back to the house.
OSCAR: Well, two of them were carrying someone else, a poor injured fellow.
SIXTH DOCTOR: Were they, indeed? I think you may well have done me a great service Mr. Botcheby.
OSCAR: In what way, officer?
SIXTH DOCTOR: I think you saw three fugitives, whose trail we have been following for a long time. Perhaps you can lead us to
ANITA: Of course (Gesturing) It's this way...
(Oscar grabs Anita's hand.)
OSCAR: (Stage whisper) Should we, my dear? (Louder) It's easy to find, officer. Just follow this road.
ANITA: No, it's not easy to find, Oscar, we ought to show them.
OSCAR: (Softly) I was thinking, my dear, this men may be dangerous! (Louder) I mean, I was thinking we ought to
be getting back to the restaurant...
ANITA: (Small laugh) Oh, we have plenty of time.
SIXTH DOCTOR: You'd be doing a public service, Mr. Botcheby.
OSCAR: Oh, well... we Botchebies have never shirked on public service, and my dear departed father was an air raid warden at
Shefton Manor throughout the war...slept in a steel helmet for five years. This way.
(Oscar walks off down the path, with Anita in tow. The Doctor pauses for a moment, and seems to reflect on what a strange fellow
he's met, but soon follows him regardless. Jamie and Peri, presumably feeling a bit left out, exchange a shrug and then follow.)
11. INT. HACIENDA CELLAR
(Dastari is wheeling a large, dark, pyramid-shaped pod that is nearly twice his size through the cellar. He eventually comes to
the area where the Doctor is being restrained in his operating table and leaves it at rest.)
SECOND DOCTOR: What have you got there?
DASTARI: The Kartz-Reimer transference module.
SECOND DOCTOR: Well, that'll never work: I can tell that from here!
DASTARI: It worked well enough to bring you to the Space Station, Doctor.
SECOND DOCTOR: All it did was produce a few hiccups in the time continuum: enough to tell us that dangerously crude experiments
were going on.
DASTARI: Kartz and Reimer were clearly on the right track: several androgums successfully vanished into time during those experiments.
Unfortunately we were unable to bring them back.
SECOND DOCTOR: Unfortunate. No one can travel through time without a molecular stabilization system.
DASTARI: We know that now. And we know that Time Lords have a symbiotic link with their machines which protects them, and anyone
with them, against destabilisation.
(The Doctor gives a small laugh and then suddenly becomes angry.)
SECOND DOCTOR: (bitterly) Guess work!
DASTARI: DON'T underestimate Chessene, Doctor. She was the brain behind Kartz and Reimer. And it was she who realized that the
missing element had to lie somewhere (gesturing towards the Doctor's head) in here.
SECOND DOCTOR: So what're you going to do? Hm? Cut me up, piece-by-piece?
DASTARI: Let us say cell-by-cell, or gene-by-gene, until I isolate the symbiotic nuclei.
SECOND DOCTOR: (yelling furiously) When did you go mad, Dastari?
DASTARI: (laughing) I assure you I am not at all mad.
SECOND DOCTOR: Then you're totally under Chessene's domination!
(There is a pause as the Doctor comes to a realization.)
SECOND DOCTOR: Are you going to give her the power of time travel? Is that the idea?
DASTARI: I shall put her among the gods! And there will be no limit to her achievements.
SECOND DOCTOR: There'll be no limit to her capacity for evil! She's an Androgum, Dastari, whatever you may say! She'll snap off
the hand that feeds her whenever she feels hungry!
DASTARI: You don't know Chessene. I confess I was sad that the Time Lords chose to send you as their emissary. Because I've always
had a certain... regard for you, Doctor, personally. And the operation will, by necessity, be very painful. But-
SECOND DOCTOR: (sarcastically) it'll hurt you more than it hurts me.
DASTARI: What gave you that idea? No, I was going to say 'but at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you have
been part of a great undertaking'.
(Dastari walks off screen, towards the stairs. The Doctor calls out after him.)
SECOND DOCTOR: (furiously) You are an irresponsible old fool! The androgums are barbarians! Release them into time
and every civilized species in the Galaxy will curse your name! Do you hear me?
(The Doctor gives up, and looks distraught.)
SECOND DOCTOR: Oh, my giddy-on, oh crumbs!
(Dastari is in another part of the cellar, gathering together equipment in preparation for the upcoming operation. He is approached
by an irate Stike, baton in hand.)
STIKE: Dastari! Why this delay?
STIKE: I expected the operation to begin immediately on my arrival. Time is being wasted!
DASTARI: Time is not being wasted. An operation of this complexity needs careful preparation.
(Dastari has put his equipment onto a tray, and is wheeling it towards the Doctor. Stike will not leave it at that, however and
walks in front of Dastari.)
STIKE: You are not efficient! All that should have been done!
DASTARI: We brought most of this equipment with us. How could it have been installed before we got here?
STIKE: Chessene should have brought it, there was no forward planning!
DASTARI: If we had dismantled my operating theatre any earlier the station would have been buzzing with speculation and Chessene's
plan might have failed; it was not worth the risk.
STIKE: How long is this operation going to take?
DASTARI: As long as it takes me to locate the symbiotic nuclei within the Time Lord's cell structure. Hours... or days: I cannot
(Dastari reaches for some more equipment but Stike shoves his baton into Dastari's arm. Dastari turns around in response.)
STIKE: Every hour is precious to me, Dastari. My ninth group is now forming up for a vital battle in the Madeline Cluster.
If successful it could change the course of the war so it is imperative that I must be there to lead them to victory.
(Dastari places one last medical instrument carefully on the wheeled tray in front of him.)
DASTARI: Then if time is so important I suggest you take this to the operating theatre while I fetch the rest of my equipment.
(Stike is indignant at this treatment, but reluctantly lays down his baton and proceeds to wheel the tray through the cellar,
to the operating theatre prepared for the Second Doctor.)
SECOND DOCTOR: Tea-time already, Nurse?
STIKE: I do not understand.
SECOND DOCTOR: Just as well. A face like yours wasn't made for laughing.
(Stike wheels the tray over to directly in front of the Kartz-Reimer module and then turns to the Doctor.)
STIKE: The operation must begin at once. I am needed at the front.
SECOND DOCTOR: Yes, I heard you. What was it? 'A vital strike in the Madeline Cluster'? Oh, dear me. Nothing changes, does it?
You and the Rutans have become petrified in your attitudes.
STIKE: Nothing can change until victory is achieved! But...(scratches head) but I fear I might have made a tactical
SECOND DOCTOR: (Sarcastically) Oh, I thought the Sontarans never made mistakes.
STIKE: It is not easy being commander; the loneliness of supreme responsibility.
SECOND DOCTOR: Why don't you resign, Stike? Take a pension?
(Stike leans in over the Doctor, so that their faces are less than a foot apart.)
STIKE: When I die it will be alongside my comrades at the front.
12. EXT. HACIENDA GROUNDS
(The Sixth Doctor and co. are in a small dip between two hills, form which the hacienda can be seen. The Doctor is coming back
down the hill, and Jamie seems to be awaiting him. Peri and Anita sit side-by-side on the grass, while Oscar stands behind them.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Wait here.
PERI: Where are you going?
SIXTH DOCTOR: Just for a scout 'round.
(The Doctor runs back up the hill.)
OSCAR: (gazing the opposite direction) Oh, look!
JAMIE: (jumpy) What?
(Oscar runs a short way before crouching down low and reaching for his binoculars.)
OSCAR: Over there!
JAMIE: I don' see anything.
OSCAR: (whispering) Just there... an exquisite Feathered Gothic... if only I'd brought my net...
(Jamie looks confused.)
13. INT. HACIENDA CELLAR
(Stike is leaning further still over the Second Doctor. Their faces are now just inches apart.)
STIKE: Doctor, you have a chance to, in death, help the Sontaran cause.
SECOND DOCTOR: How can I do that?
STIKE: Tell Dastari where your symbiotic nuclei are in your cell structure! Time will be saved and I can be on my way.
SECOND DOCTOR: Is that what Chessene's offered you? The knowledge of unlimited time travel?
(The Doctor laughs. Stike leans back into a regular standing position.)
SECOND DOCTOR: (Angrily) If that's the case, you should watch your back, Stike.
SECOND DOCTOR: She's an Androgum! A race to whom treachery is as natural as breathing! They're a bit like you Sontarans in that
(Stike smacks the Doctor's face.)
STIKE: That's for a slur on my people!
SECOND DOCTOR: And for that I demand satisfaction!
STIKE: You know that is impossible!
SECOND DOCTOR: (Shouting) I am challenging you to a duel, Stike! That is traditional among Sontarans, isn't it?
(Stike leans back in towards the Doctor's face, his fist clenched.)
STIKE: Oh, I would dearly love to kill you!
(He reluctantly moves away from the Doctor, but he is visibly shaking with rage and his voice is strained.)
STIKE: ...but unfortunately you are needed alive.
(The Doctor is shaking himself, as if trying to break the bonds that hold him on the table, while he yells back at Stike.)
SECOND DOCTOR: Release me, Stike! You are not only without honour... you're a coward as well!
(There is a pause. Stike slowly turns around, indignation in his eyes.)
STIKE: As you are not a Sontaran, Doctor, you cannot impugn my honour.
(Stike storms off. The Doctor resignedly sighs.)
SECOND DOCTOR: (Depressed) Well, that didn't work, did it?
14. EXT. HACIENDA GROUNDS & BACK VERANDA
(The Sixth Doctor is trying to keep himself low and out of sight while he runs across the lawns of the Arana Haciendas lawns.
He has come to a courtyard with a fountain in the centre that seems to act as a crossroads in four different directions. He ducks behind
a tree, looks about him, then runs forward to the fountain and ducks behind that for cover. After looking around he decides the coast
is clear and moves to investigate the hacienda. The Doctor runs up the steps onto the vast, white stone veranda. He quickly runs
to the nearest corner and backs up against it, still keen to conceal his presence.)
15. INT. DOŅA ARANA'S KITCHEN
(The room is more sparsely decorated than the others, being dominated by brick walls and a large, empty kitchen bench. It also
contains a bookshelf and a bureau. Shockeye is engrossed in two books at once when Chessene enters.)
CHESSENE: What have you got there, Shockeye?
SHOCKEYE: A selection of recipes, madam, used by these humans. It's most interesting.
CHESSENE: I cannot think that Shockeye of the Quawncing Grig has anything to learn from humans. (Peers at the books) You
SHOCKEYE: Oh, yes indeed. (Holds up first book) These are Chinese...(Holds up second book)...and these are Spanish.
(Small laugh) The ingredients are... unfamiliar, naturally, but... the general principles are similar to our own methods. They
cannot be quite as primitive as I believed. In many ways they resemble us.
CHESSENE: In what ways?
SHOCKEYE: Well, I... I found many of these books here. Now there cannot be a creature on the planet that these humans do not
kill and eat. Many beasts are bred especially for table. They are force-fed to improve the flesh, and penned in small, confined quarters
to fatten more rapidly. (Laughs) It's fascinating!
16. EXT. HACIENDA
(The Sixth Doctor seems to decide that there is nothing of interest on the veranda, and instead runs down the stairs and to a
window on the hacienda's outer wall. He climbs on top of a small wooden box and then grabs the window frame and pulls himself up
in order to get a look inside.)
17. INT. DOŅA ARANA'S KITCHEN
(Shockeye is still reading his cooking book.)
SHOCKEYE: The strange thing, however, is that I can find no recipes for cooking the human animal.
CHESSENE: There are races that do not eat their own kind.
SHOCKEYE: Oh, but a species that is on top of the food chain as-
18. EXT. HACIENDA
(The Sixth Doctor is clearly listening in on this conversation, but unfortunately he doesn't notice that his leaning across to
see through the window is causing an imbalance.)
SHOCKEYE: (Continued, V.O) -these creatures are must develop the finest flavour of all; they have the pick of the planet's
resources and all their potencies concentrated-
(At that moment the old crate the Doctor is balancing on topples over and he falls with it. It makes a loud, clattering noise.)
CHESSENE: (V.O) Listen!
19. INT. DOŅA ARANA'S KITCHEN
(Shockeye has fallen silent. Chessene appears tense. She slowly makes her way to the window.)
20. EXT. HACIENDA
(The Sixth Doctor is lying on the ground, but quickly scrambles to lie right up against the wall beneath the window, out of sight.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Ow.
(Chessene opens the window and gazes out, surveying the scene from right to left. Apparently satisfied she closes the window.)
21. INT. DOŅA ARANA'S KITCHEN
CHESSENE: I heard something out there.
SHOCKEYE: I heard nothing, Chessene.
CHESSENE: You were too busy talking about your favourite subject.
SHOCKEYE: I must taste a Telurian soon. A young one, with a good proportion of meat to the bone. I am becoming insane
for such a feast!
(Chessene stuffs a grape into Shockeye's mouth. Shockeye chews it timidly.)
CHESSENE: Be patient, Shockeye! We'll find one for you before we leave Earth. Indeed, I will join you at table. For I confess
to a certain... curiosity myself.
22. EXT. HACIENDA GROUNDS
(Peri, Oscar, Jamie and Anita are waiting for the Doctor by the same hillock. They are making small-talk to pass the time.)
PERI: So, you're an actor.
OSCAR: For my sins.
JAMIE: What're ya actin' in in the moment, Oscar?
OSCAR: I'm between roles at the moment so I'm managing a restaurant for a friend of mine. Las Pedanas in the Bario, Santa
ANITA: Quiet, Oscar, someone's coming!
(They all duck down, hugging the hillside. The Sixth Doctor walks up slowly and silently, not stopping until he's right next to
them, and then clear his throat. They all look up suddenly, startled.)
PERI: Oh, Doctor, you scared us! Do you have to creep up like that?
SIXTH DOCTOR: (Sitting down) You were expecting a brass band?
JAMIE: Did ya find out anything?
SIXTH DOCTOR: No... but the Sontarans are here, I can sense their presence.
OSCAR: Who are the Sontarans?
JAMIE: Don't ask Just hope ya don't meet one!
SIXTH DOCTOR: Anita, this Doņa Arana, is she tall and dark?
ANITA: No, she's small and frail and has white hair.
SIXTH DOCTOR: Oh, it wasn't her, then. I couldn't see the man she was with: he had his back to me. I couldn't tell if he was
human or not.
OSCAR: What do you mean 'human'?
SIXTH DOCTOR: That noise you heard was a spacecraft landing. That hacienda is now in the possession of, what you would term,
OSCAR: (Small laugh) You are joshing me, officer...(looks worried) are you not?
JAMIE: That woman, was she wearing a long grey frock?
SIXTH DOCTOR: Couldn't have put it better myself.
JAMIE: Well, she was at the Space Station, then!
(The Doctor looks intrigued.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Was she now?
JAMIE: Aye. (thinks a moment) Dastari said she was... angriman... or something.
SIXTH DOCTOR: Androgum?
JAMIE: Yeah, that's it.
SIXTH DOCTOR: Of course!... though her features haven't the heaviness of a typical Androgums.
JAMIE: Oh, he said he'd done some operations and turned her into a genius.
SIXTH DOCTOR: (Indignant) What a stupid thing to do!
JAMIE: Aye, that's just what the Doctor said.
SIXTH DOCTOR: And I was right! Whatever he's done to her mind her nature will stay exactly the same... and Androgums have as
much emotional capacity as... as a Gumblejack.
PERI: Well, what's the next move, Doctor?
SIXTH DOCTOR: We have to find a way to get into that hacienda without being detected.
ANITA: I know a secret way into the cellars. It used to lead in from the old icehouse.
SIXTH DOCTOR: (Excited) The cellars! That's even better! Peri, you'll have to cause a distraction while Jamie and I try
to find out where I'm being held.
PERI: What sort of distraction?
SIXTH DOCTOR: (Exasperated) Do I have to think of everything? Knock on the door and say you're lost!
PERI: I don't speak Spanish!
SIXTH DOCTOR: That's all right. Neither do they.
(Jamie, the Doctor, and Anita all stand up, dusting off their clothes.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Right, Anita, time to show us this icehouse.
PERI: (Worried) What if a Sontaran answers the door?
SIXTH DOCTOR: That's not very likely. They seem to be keeping well out of the way at the moment. Come on! (He pulls Peri to
her feet) Lead on!
(All four make their way towards the hacienda, leaving Oscar looking quite bewildered by events.)
OSCAR: Erm, good luck everyone.
23. INT. DOŅA ARANA'S BEDROOM
(Shockeye is looking through the wardrobe and has, for reasons best known to himself, pulled out what looks like the Second Doctor's
frock coat. He holds it up against his chest and looks at himself in the mirror, seeing how the outfit looks on him.)
24. EXT. HACIENDA COURTYARD
(Peri is looking extremely nervous as she slowly walks through the gateway and into the Hacienda's courtyard, and then up a small
set of steps to the front door proper. She continues to look around her anxiously and then knocks on the door. At this sound one of
the upper windows slowly opens. Peri walks back down the steps and takes another look around. As she does this Shockeye appears at the
open upstairs window . When he sees Peri he grabs the window sill and leans in for a closer look. He leers at her and licks his lips
25. INT. HACIENDA CELLAR
(The Second Doctor is on the operating table, warily eyeing off an injector Dastari is holding near his arm.)
DASTARI: I'm afraid I'm unable to give you a full anaesthetic.
SECOND DOCTOR: Doing the job on the cheap, are you?
DASTARI: You'll have to be conscious while the neuron bombardment excites your brain cells so I will then be able to examine
SECOND DOCTOR: (Angrily) You should be examining your own brain cells, Dastari! Most of them must have leaked out your
ears or you wouldn't be involved in this madness!
DASTARI: This injection will simply inhibit the Motor Circuits.
(As Dastari makes the injection into the Doctor's right arm we see Stike, Varl and Chessene are also present.)
STIKE: Get on with it, Dastari, you delay my war effort!
(The Doctor moans weakly before passing falling groggily into silence.)
DASTARI: If you want this operation to succeed, Group Marshall, you will allow me to proceed as I decide and at the pace I
consider appropriate. (To the Doctor) Count backwards from ten, Doctor.
SECOND DOCTOR: Certainly not! Do you expect me to co-operated in my own murder?
(The Doctor yells incomprehensively [well, to me at least ;)] before passing out. Dastari adjusts the position
of the Doctor's head and the two Sontarans move in for a closer look. Chessene moves a large device which looks like a laser beam into
place. Once Dastari is satisfied that the Doctor's head is best positioned as is Chessene activates the device, and it shoots a wide
beam of bright white rays onto the Doctor's head, which jerks in reaction. After a few moments Dastari signals Chessene, who switches
the device off.
DASTARI: The next step is partially to detach the occipital bones.
(Dastari delicately picks up an instrument that resembles a very small chainsaw. He switches it on, and moves it very slowly towards
the Doctor. He rotates the Doctor's head slightly and is about to press it into an area just behind the Doctor's right ear when he
by a call from Peri in the distance.)
PERI: (V.O) Hello?
PERI: Is anyone there?
26. EXT. ENTRANCE TO THE ICEHOUSE
(Jamie and the Sixth Doctor are standing in wait while Anita opens a small, inconspicuous door. She quickly peers in and
then turns to them.)
ANITA: Shall I come with you?
SIXTH DOCTOR: No, you've done quite enough already, bringing us here, Anita. I want you to collect Oscar and get off the estate
as quick as possible.
(The Doctor holds out his hand. Anita gratefully takes it and kisses him on the cheek. The Doctor then enters the icehouse while
Anita walks off. Jamie jogs after her, holding out his hand eagerly.)
(She turns around.)
(She smiles and shakes his hand.)
ANITA: Good luck.
(And at that Anita walks off, leaving Jamie looking particularly disappointed.)
27. INT. HACIENDA RECEPTION HALL
(A nervous Peri is currently in the middle of a conversation with Chessene.)
CHESSENE: American students?
PERI: Yes. We're planning to send parties every year and I'm... surveying the district for suitable accommodation.
(Peri walks across the hall, as wee see Shockeye coming down the stairs in the background.)
PERI: Can I ask, do you live alone or are there other occupants?
CHESSENE: I live alone.
(Peri stares at Shockeye, who has nearly reached the ground level. Chessene turns around and sees him, then turns back to Peri.)
CHESSENE: Apart from my servant. Wait here, young woman.
(Chessene walks over to Shockeye.)
SHOCKEYE: We could eat her tonight. I could make a bicorn sauce.
CHESSENE: Perhaps we shall, but first I must test my suspicions.
SHOCKEYE: What suspicions?
CHESSENE: The human mind is so flabby and vague it is hard to read; but she was constantly thinking... of 'the Doctor'.
(Shockeye is confused.)
CHESSENE: "The Doctor."
SHOCKEYE: But she can have no knowledge of the Doctor. How would that be possible?
CHESSENE: We shall see. Have Dastari bring him through the hall. If there is a connection she will give herself away when she
(Chessene walks away, but Shockeye stays behind, with a wistful look in his eyes.)
SHOCKEYE: And then we can cook her!
28. INT. THE ICEHOUSE
(A dank and dark place, illuminated only slightly by thin strips of light that enter through the slatted windows. Jamie lifts
up a trapdoor as the Sixth Doctor enters through a doorway in the background. Jamie is about to climb down the trapdoor but the Doctor
pulls him away. The Doctor carefully looks down the trapdoor and then lowers himself into it slowly.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Mind how you go, Jamie. This ladder seems a- WHOAH!
(The Doctor falls down. Jamie bends down and calls down after him.)
JAMIE: "A wee bit rickety". Is that what you were goin' to say, Doctor?
29. INT. HACIENDA CELLAR
(An infuriated Stike is pointing his laser gun at Dastari, who is holding a wheelchair).
DASTARI: You heard what Shockeye said: Chessene wants him taken upstairs.
SHOCKEYE: Her orders were quite clear.
STIKE: And I am ordering you to continue the operation. I will not tolerate further delay!
DASTARI: Force will get you nowhere, Stike. If you kill me you lose all chance, forever, of learning the Time Lords' genetic
(Stike reluctantly lowers his gun.)
STIKE: Very well... but tell Chessene that if the operation is not completed by the end of the day I shall return to my unit
and leave none of you alive here!
(He walks away.)
STIKE: (Furious bellow) VARL!
VARL: (Saluting) Sir.
(Varl follows Stike out. Dastari and Shockeye move to either side of the operating table where the Second Doctor lies.)
DASTARI: Militaristic buffoon!
SHOCKEYE: Chessene will deal with him.
(Shockeye peers around him, and then talks lowly to Dastari.)
SHOCKEYE: Er... have you ever eaten a Sontaran?
DASTARI: Certainly not!
SHOCKEYE: (thinking to himself) No... nor have I. They always seem so... tough... and tasteless.
(An awkward pause.)
DASTARI: (Impatiently) Here. Let's lift him into the wheelchair.
(They pull the Second Doctor upright. The scene then cuts to show the Sixth Doctor and Jamie peering out from behind a pillar
in the cellar. The pair silently cross the background as Shockeye and Dastari tie the Second Doctor into the wheelchair, hide behind
another pillar, and then crouch behind a couple of old barrels, where they watch Dastari and Shockeye carefully. Dastari and Shockeye
wheel the Second Doctor towards the stairs, and Jamie and the Sixth Doctor rise up and follow them, crouched low. Suddenly Jamie makes
to run towards them, but the Sixth Doctor grabs his arm and holds him back.)
JAMIE: We're not goin' after 'em?
SIXTH DOCTOR: We'll have a good look 'round here, first.
JAMIE: But there's only two of 'em! We could easily-
SIXTH DOCTOR: One of them's an Androgum, Jamie! He could break us both in half with one hand.
30. INT. HACIENDA RECEPTION HALL
(Peri and Chessene are still talking to one another.)
PERI: And, er, how many bedrooms?
(Dastari and Shockeye enter from a nearby doorway, pushing along the Second Doctor in his wheelchair. Peri is visibly put-off.)
PERI: I thought you said you lived alone?
(Dastari and Shockeye stop in front of Chessene, as if awaiting orders.)
CHESSENE: Take him through.
(They push the Second Doctor through the hall.)
PERI: Is he alright?
CHESSENE: He has had rather a tiring time lately.
(Peri is visibly nervous. Shockeye approaches Chessene.)
CHESSENE: Shockeye, show this young woman around. She might be particularly interested in the kitchen.
SHOCKEYE: A pleasure, madam!
(Shockeye moves off towards the kitchen, but Peri stays behind.)
PERI: Er, well, thank you, I-I think I have all the information I need.
(Shockeye stops suddenly and turns around. He and Chessene stare at Peri coldly.)
PERI: Er, well, my friends will be waiting for me.
(Peri runs out. Shockeye runs to follow her but is stopped by Chessene's outstretched arm.)
CHESSENE: If she has friends they will come enquiring after her.
SHOCKEYE: I think that was a lie. Animals always scent danger! They have to be dragged to the abattoir!
(Shockeye runs after Peri. Chessene smiles to herself.)
31. INT. HACIENDA CELLAR
(The Sixth Doctor is examining the Kartz-Reimer module. He pulls out a small square circuit and stares at it in disbelief.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: They got it almost exactly right!
(He stoops and looks at the control panel on the outside.)
SIXTH DOCTOR: Even down to the Briode Nebulizer, look!
(Jamie walks into view, pointing to the module.)
JAMIE: Well, what is it?
SIXTH DOCTOR: The Kartz-Reimer version of the TARDIS.
JAMIE: (Incredulously) A TARDIS?
SIXTH DOCTOR: Mm.
JAMIE: (Closing the module door) Will it work?
SIXTH DOCTOR: It will if I use it, or any other Time Lord. Not for anyone else.
JAMIE: Why not?
SIXTH DOCTOR: The machine has to be primed, by what we call the Rassilon Imprimatur, that's a kind of symbiotic print on the
physiology of a Time Lord. Once that's been absorbed into the Briode Nebulizer you have a time machine that anyone can use! (Smugly)
That, of course, was what they didn't understand. They simply copied the technology, without realising that Old Rassilon had
a second trick up his sleeve.
STIKE: (V.O) A most interesting lecture, Time Lord.
(Jamie and the Doctor turn around to see Stike and Varl staring at them. Varl slowly raises his laser gun.)
32. EXT. HACIENDA GROUNDS
(Peri is running away from the hacienda down a hill, but Shockeye is not at all far behind. She runs between trees and through
bushes, carefully watching her feet to avoid falling, as Shockeye rushes behind her, breathing heavily in his eagerness. Suddenly Peri
twists her foot around, and comes crashing down to the ground.)
PERI: Ow! Oof!
(As she lies there, trying to summon the strength to stand up Shockeye's feet appear either side of her body. Shockeye leans in
SHOCKEYE: Pretty, pretty...
(Peri turns around and looks up into his hideous face, with his hands outstretched, ready to grab her by the neck.)
SHOCKEYE: Yeah, my pretty one! Ahahhh!
(Peri stares into Shockeye's face with nothing but terror in her eyes.)
Computer Voice (uncredited)
Tile Music Composed By
BBC RADIOPHONIC WORKSHOP
Assistant Floor Manager
Visual Effects Designer
Š BBC MCMLXXXIV
Transcribed by Jared Hansen