THE TIME MEDDLER
1: INT. TARDIS. CONSOLE ROOM
(VICKI looks pensively over the DOCTORíS clock. The DOCTOR himself quietly operates the controls. There is an awkward silence in the ship. VICKI sighs.)
VICKI: I shall miss them, Doctor.
VICKI: Ian and Barbara.
(She crosses over to the DOCTOR who seems equally pensive.)
DOCTOR: Yes, I shall miss them too. First Susan and now them. Hmm.
(He taps her on the arm and starts to walk over to a chair.)
DOCTOR: Come over here, my dear, Iíd like to talk to you.
VICKI: What about the control panel?
DOCTOR: Oh, thatís all right, my dear. Itís already set.
(The DOCTOR sits down on the chair. VICKI kneels down at his feet.)
DOCTOR: Their decision certainly surprised me, although it shouldnít, I know. But it was quite obvious they intended to take the first opportunity
of going back home.
VICKI: Well, they werenít getting any younger, were they?
DOCTOR: Itís lucky for you child, theyíre not here to hear you say that! Good gracious me! You think theyíre old? What do you think of me? Hmm?
VICKI: Youíre different, Doctor. Anyway we may land in their time one day and be able to talk over old times.
DOCTOR: Well, perhaps Vicki, perhaps.
VICKI: Anyway, itís done now.
(VICKI gets to her feet and walks a few feet away.)
VICKI: I wonder where the TARDIS will take us next?
DOCTOR: Yes, itís done now, although I must admit Iím left with a small worry.
VICKI: (Not listening.) You know, I wouldnít mind New York. I didnít get to see a lot of it, what with the Daleks and everything.
VICKI: But what I saw from the top of the Empire State Building, I wouldnít mind going back there.
(The DOCTOR gets up and turns her round.)
DOCTOR: My dear Vicki, Iím trying to talk to you.
VICKI: Oh, sorry.
DOCTOR: I just wanted to ask you, are you sure you didnít want to go home too? Hmm? I didnít give you very much time to consider now, did I? I should
hate to think that youíre just staying for the sake of an old man.
VICKI: (Tuts.) Oh, Doctor! I made my decision - I wanted to stay.
DOCTOR: (He smiles and puts his arm round her.) Mmm.
VICKI: Anyway, I wouldnít have anything to go back to.
DOCTOR: Yes, your father...
(There is a sudden clattering noise from behind the closed doors to the living quarters...)
VICKI: Did you hear that?
DOCTOR: Yes, perhaps itís something...fallen down, or...maybe weíve changed course. Hmm?
(VICKI nods, but then there is another quiet knock.)
VICKI: (Whispers.) Thereís someone in the living quarters!
(The DOCTOR signals to her to be quiet. He walks over to one side of the still closed doors, waving to VICKI to stand behind him.)
VICKI: Doctor, be careful! Itís obviously a Dalek!
(The DOCTOR takes off his coat and holds it up to throw over whoever is in there. VICKI takes off a shoe ready to use it as a weapon. He leans forward
slightly and the doors swing open. VICKI gasps. A ragged bearded figure staggers out of the living quarters and falls to the ground...)
2: EXT. BEACH
(Waves crash onto a rocky shoreline. At the base of a cliff, on a beach, the TARDIS materialises. On the cliff-top stands a cowled figure - a MONK. He is a
little man with a comical yet guileful face. He stares down at the top of the police box and its flashing light. He shows no immediate surprise - only a slight
puzzled frown appears on his face. He bends down on one knee and scratches his chin...)
MONK: I wonder? Oh, I wonder!?
3: INT. TARDIS. CONSOLE ROOM
(STEVEN is sat in the chair drinking back a glass of water. Vastly refreshed, he sighs.)
STEVEN: Thanks. (He passes the glass back to the DOCTOR.) Sorry about that, Doc.
VICKI: We thought you were dead.
STEVEN: Well, I nearly was. I just managed to climb down that cable before it burned out. Then I came after you.
VICKI: You should have shouted.
STEVEN: Should have! I never stopped!
(He looks at his surroundings.)
STEVEN: Say, this is quite a ship youíve got here, Doc. Never seen anything like it.
(He tries to stand but his leg gives way.)
DOCTOR: Now listen to me young man, sit down.
(He and VICKI help him back into the chair.)
DOCTOR: Now, there are two things you can do. One, sit there until you get your breath back and, Two, donít call me ďDocĒ! Now, do I make myself
STEVEN: Yes, yes, whatever you say, Doc... (Quickly correcting himself.) ...tor!
DOCTOR: Apart from that young man, Iím quite willing to accept you at your face value.
(He walks away. VICKI, holding STEVENíS ďHi-fiĒ panda mascot, smiles after him, then turns back to STEVEN.)
VICKI: You were lucky to find the TARDIS in all that jungle.
STEVEN: (STEVEN takes ďHi-fiĒ off her and smiles at it.) Yeah, we were lucky. You know, I donít seem to remember much about it. There was a
door. I went through it. I must have flaked out. I remember registering that, well, it didnít look like a ship. It was very small. Huh, I must have been
VICKI: I donít suppose you were. It is very small outside. Itís just in here itís big.
STEVEN: (Starting to laugh.) Oh, come off it! Ha ha!
VICKI: (Smiling.) You donít believe me, do you?
STEVEN: (Sarcastically.) Oh, of course I do, Vicki! Every word!
VICKI: This isnít an ordinary ship, you know. This is a time machine.
STEVEN: (Incredulous.) Time...! Look, this ship may have a way out design but time machines? Thatís ridiculous.
(VICKI crosses over to the DOCTOR who is back at the console.)
VICKI: He says the TARDIS isnít a time machine.
DOCTOR: Oh, does he now?
VICKI: Tell him.
DOCTOR: Hmm. I donít see why I should, my child. Heíll learn soon enough.
(STEVEN walks over and joins them.)
STEVEN: Look, Doctor, Iíve seen some spaceships in my time, admittedly nothing like this, but...well, (Pointing at a control.) what does this
DOCTOR: That is the dematerialising control and that, (Pointing.) over yonder, is the horizontal hold. (Points several more times.) Up
there is the scanner, those are the doors, that is a chair with a panda on it - sheer poetry, dear boy! Now please stop bothering me!
(He pats STEVEN on the arm. STEVEN crosses to a laughing VICKI.)
STEVEN: Look, you gave this ship a name just now, what was it?
VICKI: TARDIS, T...A...R...D...I...S. (She counts the words off using her fingers.) It stands for ďTime And...Relative Dimensions In SpaceĒ.
STEVEN: (Thinks then...) IDBI.
VICKI: What? IDBI?
STEVEN: Hmm. (He also counts the words off his fingers.) I...D...B...I.
STEVEN: It means ďI Donít Believe ItĒ!
VICKI: Youíll see, youíll see.
(The DOCTOR clicks some final controls into place.)
DOCTOR: Iíve checked up on all the readings. Now I think our guest will need a wash and brush up. So I think the best thing for you to do is go and
find him some clothes and a cloak. Bring mine as well. Weíll show him whether this is a time machine or not, hmm? (He laughs.)
VICKI: Where are we?
DOCTOR: Well, judging by the readings, my child, I think weíve landed on the planet Earth.
(The grin on STEVENíS face disappears...)
4: EXT. SAXON SETTLEMENT
(Outside a small Saxon hut, a fair-haired peasant woman, EDITH, lays some logs on a fire and places a large pot on it. She is stirring the contents when she
hears a noise in the surrounding woods. She stands up straight and looks carefully around her. A gaunt dark-haired bearded male peasant, ELDRED, walks through
the trees and into the settlement.)
ELDRED: Wulnoth with you?
(ELDRED walks over to the hut but before he can enter, a larger peasant man, WULNOTH, comes out. EDITH joins them.)
ELDRED: Somethingís landed on the beach. I saw it from the cliff.
WULNOTH: What is it?
ELDRED: A...large box, washed ashore by the tide, probably from a ship. I didnít go down, I came for you.
WULNOTH: What sort of box?
ELDRED: I donít know. Itís just very big. Iíve never seen anything like it before.
(EDITH looks at WULNOTH who looks at the sky.)
WULNOTH: The tide will be turning. We must hurry.
(He picks up a large stick.)
WULNOTH: You lead the way.
(The two men run off. EDITH shouts after them...)
EDITH: Itís a long way to the beach and back. What about your meal?
5: EXT. BEACH
(Seagulls cry and hover over the beach. The DOCTOR, wearing a cloak, holds a Viking helmet in his hands. VICKI stands next to him also wearing a cloak.)
DOCTOR: Where did you say you found this, Vicki?
VICKI: (Pointing.) Just down there. I saw it as soon as I came out of the ship.
(Behind them, STEVEN, clean-shaven and decked out in new clothes and a cloak, looks over the exterior of the TARDIS.)
DOCTOR: Yes, itís a bit rusted but, er, not as old as that. Tenth...Eleventh century? Hmm? (He looks round.) England! Hmm, hmm.
(He crosses to STEVEN and passes him the helmet.)
DOCTOR: Well, there you are, young man. What do you think of that now, eh, a Viking helmet.
STEVEN: (Doubtfully.) Oh, maybe.
DOCTOR: What do you mean ďmaybeĒ? What do you think it is - a space helmet for a cow?!
STEVEN: Look, it could just as easily be...part of a costume, you know, a toy left here by a child.
DOCTOR: Oh, rubbish, rubbish!
STEVEN: No more so than your theory. Though your ship is, to say the least, a little unusual.
DOCTOR: Oh, I see, so youíve changed your ideaís now.
STEVEN: If it is a time machine, Iím not saying it is, mind you, but if it is, shouldnít you know where we are? You know, your control panel?
DOCTOR: Yes, yes, yes, but unfortunately, we have a slight technical hitch at the moment. Excuse me.
(He walks away. VICKI looks after him and then explains to STEVEN.)
VICKI: As a matter of fact, we never know where weíre going to land.
STEVEN: Oh, so assuming I believe what you tell me, you canít take me home.
VICKI: Not by any direct route.
(They cross over to the DOCTOR who stands on one side of a large rock, throwing pebbles.)
VICKI: Letís go exploring now, hmm?
DOCTOR: Yes, perhaps we should find a village...whereby we can c...convince this young upstart of the true facts.
STEVEN: Oh, great Doctor! Iím all for that. But there is one thing that bothers me...
DOCTOR: Oh, yeh...what is it now?
STEVEN: Well, how come you chose such an unusual design for your ship? A Police telephone box - is that right?
(The DOCTOR pushes pebbles over the top of the rock. On the other side of it, the MONK crouches down listening to their conversation.)
DOCTOR: The design is completely immaterial, young man. The TARDIS is required to land and blend in with its surroundings.
(The MONK smiles slightly.)
STEVEN: Blend in?
DOCTOR: Yes, quite so. For instance, If we were to land in the middle of, er, the Indian mutiny, well, Iím sure the ship would take on the appearance
of, er, a Howdah.
(The MONK suddenly starts and looks puzzled at this...)
DOCTOR: A Howdah! A carrier on the back of an Elephant. Hmm!
STEVEN: Oh, I see! Oh, and, and if it landed on the pebbles...
DOCTOR: On the what?
STEVEN: If it landed on the beach against the cliffs, itíd take on the appearance of a large rock?
DOCTOR: Yes, yes, yes, yes, but you do keep on donít you! Hmm!
(He walks off again. STEVEN turns to VICKI.)
STEVEN: Do you wonder why I donít believe you? You know that large rock over there looks exactly like a Police telephone box.
VICKI: (Indignant.) That is merely another technical hitch and the Doctor will repair it one day.
VICKI: Anyway, if weíre going to do any exploring, we should do it now Ďcos itís going to get dark in a minute.
(They walk back to the DOCTOR who is outside the TARDIS. The MONK, still crouched down behind the rock listens carefully.)
DOCTOR: Now I suggest we take a walk along the beach and try and find a spot where the cliffs run down to sea level.
STEVEN: Yeah, but that could be miles. Itíd be much quicker to go up here.
DOCTOR: Yes, so possibly it might, but Iím not a Mountain Goat and I prefer to it any day, and I hate climbing!
(He starts to set off.)
VICKI: Weíll go with you, Doctor...
DOCTOR: No, you wonít, youíll stay with the ship and wait Ďtil Iíve got to the top then you can both climb up and join me.
VICKI: But, Doctor, you might get...
DOCTOR: Iím not going to argue, my child...
STEVEN: Yes, but...
(He walks off.)
STEVEN: Oh, heck...
VICKI: You might try being a bit more tactful in future...
STEVEN: Donít you start as well, come on, letís go on...
VICKI: No, I think we should stay here and wait for him like the Doctor said.
STEVEN: Why? Weíve gotta go up there sooner or later. It might as well be sooner. (Points.) We can walk along the top and meet... (Looks over
another part of the cliff.) Hey, that bit there looks climbable, come on.
VICKI: Iím not...
VICKI AND STEVEN: (Together.) ...very good on heights!
STEVEN: Oh, come on, youíll be all right.
(The MONK cautiously rises from behind the rock, then runs over to hide behind the TARDIS. He looks round to check that the travellers really have gone, then
steps out and examines the outside of the ship, seeing if he can find a way in. He listens at the door, nods and smiles. He pulls back the habit from his arm,
as if about to check the time. But there is nothing on his wrist...he panics and looks round him...the waves continue to crash on the shoreline...)
6: EXT. SAXON SETTLEMENT (EVENING)
(As the sky starts to get darker, a figure enters the settlement. It is the DOCTOR. He walks past the fire and up to the door of the hut.)
7: INT. HUT (EVENING)
(Entering through the cloth door, he picks up several objects from within the mean hut including a dead fox and a long bow which he tries for its strength.
He hears the cries of animals outside and exits.)
8: EXT. SAXON SETTLEMENT (EVENING)
(He looks round but fails to see an approaching figure who uses a forked stick to hold him by the neck to the walls of the hut...)
9: EXT. MONASTERY (EVENING)
(With the cries of animals and birds echoing through the air, the MONK walks up to a collection of stone, wattled and thatched buildings...some of them in
ruins - the monastery. He looks round himself and smiles. He extracts a key from his cloak and opens a small wooden door.)
10: INT. MONASTERY. ENTRANCE HALLWAY (EVENING)
(Inside, the monastery is in ruins with slight overgrowth hanging off some of the walls. Still smiling, the little MONK locks the door using a large wooden
bolt and then walks off into the interior...)
11: EXT. MONASTERY (EVENING)
(A bright light suddenly...perhaps too suddenly...appears in one of the windows. The speed with which it appears and its luminance indicates something more
powerful than candles. Almost at the same moment, the sonorous chanting of monks begins...)
12: INT. MONASTERY. PASSAGEWAYS (EVENING)
(But inside the monastery, the narrow hallways and passageways seem deserted and derelict...)
13: EXT. CLIFFTOP. (EVENING)
(The sea crashes onto the base of the cliffs. The beach is now covered by the water. WULNOTH and ELDRED crawl to the edge of the cliff and look over. The
darkened clouds swirl above them.)
ELDRED: Yes, it was on the beach, below us here!
WULNOTH: Are you certain?
ELDRED: Yes, positive. I remember the way the rocks look.
WULNOTH: Pity, it might have been valuable.
ELDRED: It would have been crushed against the rocks by now, whatever it was.
(They look further over the edge but the waves are all there is...)
14: INT. HUT (EVENING)
(EDITH pours a drink into a horned cup. She leaves the hut with it...)
15: EXT. SAXON SETTLEMENT (EVENING)
(The faint chanting of the monks can be heard in the night air. EDITH crosses to the DOCTOR who is sat before the fire. She passes him the horn.)
DOCTOR: Oh, whatís this?
DOCTOR: Mead? Oh Mead! (Laughs.) Yes, of course, yes. Yes, how nice of you, yes. Delightful, thank you, thank you. Well, hereís to your very
good, er, health.
(He raises the horned cup in salute takes a drink.)
DOCTOR: Oh, delightful. Mmm! Oh! (He takes another drink which he finds too strong.) Mmm! Oh yes! Delightful! (Laughs.)
(EDITH, rubbing a piece of cloth, laughs gently as the DOCTOR pats his chest.)
DOCTOR: Er, tell me, erm ,erm, is the, er, monastery near here?
EDITH: No, itís not far from here. (Points.) Itís just at the top of the hill. And when the winds in the right direction, you can hear the
monks much clearer, as though theyíre down in the village.
DOCTOR: Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, quite understandable you know, er, sounds do play funny tricks at times.
EDITH: (Embarrassed.) I, erm...
EDITH: I hope you will forgive a womanís harsh welcome? We do fear strangers but weíre very happy to welcome a traveller. Not that we see many in
this wild place. Iím sure that when my husband returns, heíll insist that you stay the night. And then you can rejoin your friends in the morning.
DOCTOR: Well, thatís very kind, very kind indeed. And I do hope they wonít worry me, er, worry about me too much. You know, I, er, I hadnít
intended to walk quite so far. You, er, er, near the coast, Mmm?
DOCTOR: Mmm (Laughs.)
EDITH: While there are fish in the sea, one need never starve.
DOCTOR: Yes...yes! (Laughs and takes another sip.)
EDITH: Course, there are bad things, too.
DOCTOR: Oh, of course, of course, my dear, the, er, Vikings, for example?
EDITH: Not that weíve seen much of them, this year. Except for that one raid that was beaten off just north of here.
DOCTOR: Yes, I had heard about that battle, yes, yes. The, the King, er, greatly improved the position, er, no end...
EDITH: The King? Harold Godwinson? Weíll receive no help from him.
(The DOCTOR thinks about this information concerning the identity of the time they have landed in.)
DOCTOR: You know, er, it seems like yesterday that the, er, good King Edward...was laid to rest, er, er, er, when, when, when was it?
EDITH: (Thinking back.) It was the beginning of the year...
DOCTOR: Oh, of course! Yes, yes, yes, the beginning of the year, yes, yes, yes. How silly. (He holds up the horned cup.) Yes, thatís most
EDITH: Oh, Iíll get you more!
DOCTOR: (Laughs.) Oh, thank you! Yes, thank you, my dear.
(She goes back into the hut. The DOCTOR gets to his feet and talks to himself.)
DOCTOR: Now, if Harold is King, and Edward was laid to rest at the beginning of the year, then it must be 1066! (Laughs.) Yes, ha, ha! Judging
by the appearance of these leaves, late summer. Mmm!
(EDITH comes back out of the hut behind him.)
DOCTOR: And a balmy night, a balmy night! Hmm, hmm!
(EDITH passes him another cup of wine.)
DOCTOR: Oh, thank you, my dear. Thank you, thank you.
(He is about to take a sip but stops to ask...)
DOCTOR: Er, you know, itís a bit stupid of me but, er, we are in Northumbria, hmm?
EDITH: (Suspicious.) Yes, of course, we are. Why do you ask?
DOCTOR: Oh, nothing, nothing, I...I...just that I wasnít sure whether Iíd crossed the border or not. Yes, itís a bit, er, tedious of me, isnít
it, yes. (He pats her shoulder.) But you must have patience with an old man.
EDITH: (Her suspicions disappear.) Oh, please, sit down and rest before the fire. You must be tired after your journey.
(She turns back to the hut.)
EDITH: Ah, forgive me, I...I have things to do before Wulnoth returns.
DOCTOR: I will, I will and thank you indeed. Thank you.
(She re-enters the hut.)
DOCTOR: Yes, itís a great pity that Barbara isnít here. Now if my memory of English history serves me right, weíre about to have a...Viking
invasion and very soon. Now let me think, er, Harold came north to defeat Hardrada, the Norwegian King. Yes that was before he faced William the Conqueror at
Hastings! Hmm hmm! Itís all very interesting! Yes, thatís very, very, very, very interesting. Hmm hmm! Itís going to put that young man in his place.
(He stands before the fire. The chants of the monks still sounds across the night air. He frowns and then throws the remainder of the Mead away. He sits down
before the fire and prods the flames with a stick. Suddenly, the chants of the monks slow down...as if a mechanical recording needed winding up. The DOCTOR
instantly rises to his feet and joins his hands together. The chants start to speed up again.)
DOCTOR: (Harshly.) Woman! Woman! Where are you? Hmm?
(EDITH runs out of the hut.)
EDITH: Mmm? What? What is it?
DOCTOR: The monastery. Where is it did you say?
EDITH: Well, er, er, the top of the hill. Why? Whatís the matter?
DOCTOR: Er, er, the monks, er, er, have they been here long?
EDITH: No, the monastery itselfís been deserted for years and years and then, several weeks ago, a few monks must have moved back in.
DOCTOR: Er and you havenít seen them? Er, er, no one in the village has?
EDITH: Oneís been seen but never spoken to.
(She suddenly realises the importance of his question and again grows suspicious.)
EDITH: (To herself.) How does he know that?
DOCTOR: Oh, youíve been very kind, er, a great help, yes! Iím sorry, but I...I must take your, my leave of you.
EDITH: Are you going to the monastery?
DOCTOR: I most certainly am! (Laughs.)
(He waves and walks away...leaving a very suspicious woman behind him...)
16: EXT. FOREST (EVENING)
(STEVEN walks quickly through the darkened forest, followed by a weary VICKI.)
STEVEN: Look, are you coming?
VICKI: Canít we rest for a minute?
STEVEN: We just did!
VICKI: Oh! Well Iím tired. Oh!
(She sits on the ground.)
STEVEN: Oh well, weíll wait a little while. But weíre lost. We canít stay here all night.
(Suddenly, there is the crack of a broken branch being stepped on. VICKI jumps up.)
STEVEN: Whatís the matter?
VICKI: I think somebodyís coming...
(STEVEN turns quickly and looks through the bushes.)
STEVEN: We...why are we hiding? We can ask him the way.
VICKI: No! Because I think we should follow him until we find out whether itís safe or not.
(STEVEN, ignores her and goes to step forward. VICKI pulls him back.)
VICKI: Supposing you do what I say for once?
(They watch as a barefooted SAXON HUNTER, carrying a dead rabbit, steps into a clearing. He sees something on the leafy ground and stoops down to pick it up.
He holds the object up to the light.)
VICKI: Heís found something.
STEVEN: What is it?
VICKI: I canít see.
STEVEN: You dropped something?
(STEVEN steps impetuously into the clearing.)
STEVEN: Hey! You!
(The SAXON HUNTER makes a run for it.)
STEVEN: Hey! Come back!
(STEVEN pushes the man to the ground and pinions him down.)
VICKI: Steven, I...
(The SAXON HUNTER struggles...)
VICKI: Leave him alone! Stop it! Stop it! Steven!
(The man manages to push STEVEN over, punches him once, then runs past VICKI and into the night. VICKI follows a few paces then runs back to a dazed STEVEN.)
VICKI: You all right, hmm?
STEVEN: Yes, I think so. I got it.
VICKI: What was it?
(STEVEN holds up a wristwatch in front of an amazed VICKI.)
STEVEN: You still say this is ďtenthĒ century England?
17: EXT. NIGHT SKY
(The clouds cover the moon as night falls...)
18: EXT. MONASTERY (NIGHT)
(The light still shines brightly in the window as the DOCTOR approaches the door. The chants of the monks continue. The DOCTOR tries the door but it is
DOCTOR: Hmm! Hmm.
(The DOCTOR steps back...)
19: INT. MONASTERY. ENTRANCE HALLWAY (NIGHT)
(A cowled hand pulls back the bolt...)
20: EXT. MONASTERY (NIGHT)
(The door opens as the DOCTOR stares silently at it. He hesitates but then enters the building.)
21: INT. MONASTERY. ENTRANCE HALLWAY (NIGHT)
(The DOCTOR moves round the edge of the door and onwards...)
22: EXT. MONASTERY (NIGHT)
(The bright light in the window goes out...as quickly as it was lit.)
23: INT. MONASTERY. HALLWAYS (NIGHT)
(The DOCTOR explores the deserted and decaying hallways. The chants continue.)
24: INT. MONASTERY. ALCOVE (NIGHT)
(Eventually he comes to a small passage. He enters it and comes to a curtained off side-room. He pulls the curtain to one side. Inside is an early twentieth
century gramophone playing the chants. He laughs to himself and takes the needle off the record. As he lets the curtain fall, a wooden portcullis falls across
the end of the passage, trapping him inside. He runs to the portcullis, staring into the main hallway. The MONK, carrying a flaming torch, walks up to him from
the other side of the barrier. He starts to laugh in the face of the imprisoned DOCTOR...)
THE MEDDLING MONK
Title music by
and the BBC Radiophonic Workshop
(c) BBC tv